Loveless Workaholic
by Chaki Nomoto
Summary: *OOC Dark Abusive M Content*Sakura is just a serious hard worker with no love experience. Syaoran is a cruel,abusive guy who will do anything just to get what he wants. What will Sakura do to turn him into a better man? R&R :
1. You Are My Destiny

**WARNING:**

**DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DARK/ABUSIVE THINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?! THIS IS SERIOUS!!**

**IT'S A COMPLETELY OOC FIC**!!! **AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO SOME KIND OF THING, THEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS FIC IMMIDIATELY**!!

**DON'T FLAME THIS STORY, GUYS. I'M JUST BORROWING CCS CHARACTERS NAME BUT IT ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY ITSELFS.**

**YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!**

**REAL LIFE IS CRUEL AND UNEXPECTED.  
**

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**Theme song: The Pussycat Dolls feat. A.R Rahmin – Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny) **

**

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**This is beta version of my story... This is of course, better than the previous version. Rapid-chan corrected ton of mistakes on this story, and replaced it with the appropriate one ;)

I hope you won't hate me for restarting this story back to zero :(

Thanks to **Rapid-chan** for betareading my story :)

xoxo

_**Please review!! :) :) :)**_

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I never dreamed of becoming a woman who would accompany a man together through life. For twenty years now, I have never felt bittersweet love.

To be honest, I do not believe in what some call 'love'. What I do love is my job. I have no idea what people are talking about when they say that love is more important than anything. For me however, my job is most important. This of course is after my family. Meaning my family comes first and foremost.

I woke up every morning at six sharp, and then took the train at seven. I arrived at my work place at eight. I was always perfect and I was always on time. Lunch was at twelve, then back to my cubicle by one. Step out of the building at six in the evening and I finally arrived back home around eight at night. Sometimes I was I would arrive a little later due to traffic or crowded streets. All and I don't know why it takes me two hours to get back home when it only takes an hour to go to the office. Weird, but I didn't care.

Being single for almost five years did not bother me at all. I had no intention of doing goukon, or any gathering stuff. But I do take time to hang out with my friends, go shopping, slept over and gossip. I love to do girl stuff! Well, of course, I'm a girl after all.

To be honest I've been independent for almost four years now. I'm twenty two years old and I live by myself. Shoulder length auburn hair with short bangs scattered everywhere in front of my forehead, emerald green eyes with long curled eyelashes and a small face. Slender petite body, it's not that I don't have any sex appeal, I do have a lot. But, I just don't want to share it with just anybody. It has to be that special someone 'that' I love with both my heart and soul.

"A... are you kidding me, riji chō?"

A middle aged man with white hair and wearing a business suit, wrinkles everywhere on his face but his eyes were brilliant deep brown which brought out a kind and gentle feeling.

"No, I'm not. You know me better than my own wife. I am always SERIOUS! And I am serious about you transferring to the head office in Hong Kong. You'll be working under my superiors care, don't you even think about disappointing me! Behave yourself while in Hong Kong Kinomoto."

I really didn't know how to respond to riji chō's comment. He was always serious, but that didn't mean that he never told a joke either. I really am confused; I felt my mouth hanging wide open almost like I didn't have the energy left to close it.

"Come on Kinomoto, you are being promoted here! But I don't see any excitement in your face. What's wrong with you? You'll get a higher position in this damn big multinational company, and of course a higher salary. More free facilities, like your own condominium. Maybe a company car for your own private use, or…"

"Riji chō, tell me I'm dreaming?"

"No you're not! It's really is an order from Hong Kong main company. You leave on Sunday, the earliest flight out of Narita. Don't you forget that Kinomoto!!"

"Oh, that's fast!! I only have three more days to sort out everything!"

"Yes, and one more time, CONGRATULATIONS on your promotion Kinomoto!" Riji chō said while putting his arms around me. He then shook my hand tightly.

Oh, I'm so extremely happy!

I absolutely have to tell Oto-san and Onii-chan about this. Finally, I can make them proud of 0me.

**-Home-**

"Welcome oto-san, nii-chan!! I prepared everything you like!!"

They looked at each other in silence and walked over to the dinner table. I could see that they were amazed with what I'd prepared for my main dish. There was lobster, roasted chicken and a jar of lemon tea along with strawberry cheesecake and a platter of sliced sashimi. That's quite prestigious, but I have money and I can afford to buy those dishes with no problem.

"Oi, Kaiju! What's with all this stuff? I know you're up to something… dangerous…" Touya was always suspicious of my kindness toward him. One day I gave him a cake from a famous pantry and he said he wouldn't eat it because maybe it had been poisoned. But in the end he still ate it and even said 'thank you' in a super duper tiny voice. I hate him!

"Nope, it's nothing dangerous. I invited you all here because I want to proudly announce that I got promoted to the main office in Hong Kong!!"

"HONG KONG?!" Oto-san and Onii-chan both screamed in disbelieve. Tsk, that was rude!

"Come on, it's only a four hour flight, it's closer than America!!"

"Don't kid me, Kaiju!! You're not going anywhere alone!!"

"But nii-chan, I'm twenty two for God sake!!"

"But you are still a kid!! How in the world will you survive in Hong Kong for God knows how long!! Jeez, think over, Sakura!!"

"Nii-chan, this is what I earned with my own effort. This is the outcome, and I'm quite happy about it. It's not something bad nor is it something dangerous. I'm not going to become a prostitute; I'm not going to doing something illegal. I'm not going to be being a terrorist!! Tell me what do you think is wrong with my decision?"

I tried to stay calm and hold back my tears. I could barely see things in front of me because of the tears that filled my eyes.

"Touya, Sakura, that's enough already. You are both precious to me. Of course I'll be sad if one of you leave me and travel far away. But the thing is I don't want to be a burden. If you want to go Hong Kong, and you think it's good for you, then go. I won't stand in your way. But one thing you should know, I love you both and I want you both to keep yourselves safe so we can still see each other in the future. Don't worry, sweetie I'll support you with all I have…" Oto-san showed his best smile to me, like he was proud of me.

"Well, if Oto-san allows you to go… then what can I say? Just make sure you take care of yourself!"

Hearing that from Touya made my heart feel better. But in another way I want to cry as well. Why are you guys being so damn polite and nice to me?

"So, sweetheart when will you leave?" Oto-san asked me curiously.

"Well, actually my riji cho has already booked me a ticket for Sunday morning. So, it seems that I don't have much time left here."

"..Sakura..," Oto-san and Onii-chan said together in a tone of worry and much concern.

"Daijoubu dakara, don't mind. I want you guys to say farewell with smile and laughter. No crying, okay!"

**-Later that night-**

I supposed to be asleep at this hour. I was so tired and I wanted to have a deep sleep tonight. Then I heard someone came into my room and sit silently on the edge of the bed. The room was dark, but I was used to it. I'll sleep when the room is quite and the lamps are turned off.

I closed my eyes, pretending to be in a deep slumber, but actually I was wide awake on the inside.

Then I felt a soft hand slowly caressing my forehead.

"Sakura, you'll always be my sister even though you're far away. I promise I'll be the one who will protect you from anything harsh, evil or bad. I'll fly right to Hong Kong when you're in danger. I'll be the one who will protect you. Remember? That was our promise since you were like one month old in mom's womb. I already swore to God that I'll be the one who'll protect you against anything bad!! And now, here I'll tell you once again that I'm going to fly you to safety wherever you are. I'll keep you safe."

I tried my best to stay hard as a rock. Actually, I felt terribly moved inside, trembling, I really want to cry! But I can't! Not like this in front of my brother.

Then that hand on my forehead stop moving and I felt my forehead being kissed gently, lovingly. Not long after that kiss, I could hear Onii-chan saying. "Take care, Sakura, have a beautiful dream." Then I heard the door closed slowly.

And all I can do now is just cry, hard…

~*~

"Sir, are you sure this is Burchard Road?"

"Yes, Burchard Road is one of the most prestigious places in Hong Kong. So, which one is your condominium?"

"Errr... It's Latinos."

"Well, that one is the biggest around here. So, it won't be hard to find."

"Wow, err.., okay.., just.., take me there..."

Now I'm already in Hong Kong. I bid my father and brother good bye the day before my scheduled flight. I told them both to go home, and not to send me off at the airport. I told them it would be hard for me to be apart from them and to make it easier for us, I told them to go home early and I promised I'll call exactly after I set my foot in Hong Kong.

Leaving the office wasn't hard either. I didn't have any close friends. Just a quick announcement made by riji cho two days before I left Tokyo in front of my co-workers informing them that I was being promoted and transferred to the main office in Hong Kong. They just clapped their hand for thirty seconds and then returned to their own work simple as that. Yep, there was no farewell party, no warm hugs, no goodbyes or anything. Just totally formality and I honestly didn't care.

"Miss, all your luggage is on this cart. And this bell boy will show you the way."

I was too busy adoring the gaudiness of the condominium. It was magnificent, elite, elegant, and perfect. I nodded and took some money from my purse and said thank you to the taxi driver.

WOW!!

"This way, Miss," The bellboy in front of me ordered me to follow him while carrying my luggage in his golden cart.

He guided me to the front desk where the receptionist in charge smiled at me and told me to write down some information on a sheet.

"So, you are Ms. Sakura Kinomoto from Japan?"

"Yes, I used to work for the Sonyc Corporation in Japan. Then suddenly my boss told me that I have to move to the main office here in Hong Kong."

"Well I'm happy to hear that from you Ms. Kinomoto, congratulations! Actually, there are some people from Sonyc Corp already living here. And one of them is the director himself! He's staying in the penthouse. It's not that he's staying here for long periods like how our tenants do. He's just here to bring his girlfriend over or throwing some wild party with his friends. Ops, am I spilling too much here?" She spoke a little too fast and I could hardly catch it up.

I looked at the nametag pinned on her left side chest. Lin Steffany.

"You can call me Steffy, here is my business card. Call me if you need a thing or two." Steffy said, winking her eye at me. She was unexpectedly too friendly, but somehow, I was glad.

~*~

Sunlight shown through the window above me, and I slowly opened up my eyes. Oh, I wasn't in my room. I over slept because last night I was up late unpacking my stuff. I wanted to sleep for another hour, but I have to go. My working hours began at eight thirty and it was now seven forty! I didn't know how long it would take me to get there. It's my first day after all.

**-Sonyc Corp.-**

"Sorry, I'm Sakura Kinomoto from the Japanese branch. I transferred here a week ago, could you please help me to find someone I that I was supposed to meet?"

A young girl with deep brown eyes, white skin and pretty big breasts stood in front of the receptionist's desk.

"Let me see, hmm… Sakura Kinomoto… Ah, Mrs. Li told me to send you to her office. Please follow me."

"Thank you."

I wondered who the hell in this world Mrs. Li was? Maybe she's my superior, or maybe she wanted to humiliate me in front of everyone because she didn't like my previous work. Oh, man I'm really sweating a lot.

"This is her room, I'll leave you here. By the way, I'm Rika, welcome to Sonyc Crop and congratulations." She smiled and knocked on the door three times then left me alone in front of a very big wooden door.

"Come in!!" A voice came from the room.

I gulped once and then opened the door up.

"Sakura Kinomoto, please sit down." I couldn't see her very clearly. There was a big window behind her and the sunlight was coming from that side so I could hardly see her face clearly from this distance.

I walked to a chair in front of her desk and sat down.

"Don't worry, I won't eat you up." I could see her grinning at me. Well, maybe she's friendly after all.

GULP!

Wow, at this close distance I can see her deep brown, almost black eyes. Her ruby red lips and pale white skin. Her face is perfect. She's maybe in her forties, but still she's so beautiful and elegant. I can see some wrinkles on her face but still, she's beautiful and nothing can describe how beautiful she was. Oh, what a charm. I really want to see what kind of person she is.

"So, here is the thing Ms. Kinomoto. I am the one who made the request to have you transferred to this branch. Don't you want to know why it was so sudden and all?"

"Well, to be honest I was confused at first, and still I am…"

"Sorry to cut your words Ms. Kinomoto, but I really can tell that you are quite nervous here. So, I'll just make it quick." Her face tensed and I could feel goose bumps on my back.

"Ye... Yes…" I answered quickly.

"I want you to get married to my son, Syaoran Li."

EH? What the hell did she just say?

"WH... WHAT?!"

"Do you want me to repeat that?" Seeing her expressionless face I could say nothing more.

"Bu... but why? It's so sudden and all. I just… I'm just so confused!!"

"Well, six months ago I went to the Tokyo branch and was quite surprised with a lot of the young woman working there because it is the opposite here. So, I just casually asked the director in charge, Mr. Nanami some trivial questions like, "how old are they on average? Are they married? How's their work performance? And who's the best hard worker here? And so on and so on. He told me that there was one woman, with perfect work performance. She is beautiful, smart, independent, and… a workaholic. At that time, I was like, "oh, finally I found you!" Right after that I asked Mr. Nanami to transfer you here. At first, I was afraid that you might decline the offer, but still I had high confidence in my decision and viola, you're here."

"So, Mrs. Li, your point is." I was still highly doubtful about her explanation.

"My point is I want you to meet my playboy son and make him a better person. You should take note that he is a horrible guy, and I want you to change him into a fine gentleman."

"Wh... What are you talking about? I'm not here for some kind of a joke or to leisure around. I'm here to do my work. So, if you'll excuse me…" I gradually stood up and turned my back.

BAM!

I turned back to see her, I was surprised after all. There she was standing there with her hand on the desk; her chair had fallen to the floor.

"Shut up little girl. You don't know what you're talking about! My deceased husband is the owner of this company and I'm here to substitute for him, to lead this company. And you know what? I'm getting too old for this stuff and I want my son to do this instead of me. But he's too busy with his girlfriends, his car, and his gang! I only have one son and four daughters. My daughter can't inherit this legacy. It has to be my own son, not my son-in-law." Her soft and lack expression now tensed. She had a scary look on her face.

"But I can't do this. I don't know him. I can't love him. I want to get married to someone I know and I truly love!!"

"Believe me little girl, you'll love him. He's gorgeous! He's smart! He's a genuine wooer! He's all any girl would want!"

"Oh, Mrs. Li, I won't do this for God sake! This is too much for an inexperienced girl like me! I can't do anything! I have zero ability with love or LUST!"

"Ok, listen up. I'll offer you a deal. If you risk your life on this, so do I... I don't care how you tame him. All I want is him to be a gentleman. In the process, I'll invest thirty percent of my property to you. I'll give you a personal bank account and will pay you fifty thousand Hong Kong dollars. For your security, I'll give you a personal car, you name it."

"Mrs. Li... I..."

"I know, how's your fathers condition? He has problems with his heart along with digging and teaching university students. No mother, I know it will be hard for you to support your father. Your brother has started his new life with Kaho Mizuki. You are the only one to support him and HOW will you do that if you lost this perfect opportunity to work less and earn more? I wonder how your father will react to this."

Oh, no, she's threatening me with my biggest fear. My father was always proud of me for my professional work. I graduated from Tokyo University and was a very good daughter. That's how he credited me.

"NO! Don't disturb their life. I..." still, I feel so confused. Should I do this? But if I don't, then there's too much to risk.

But maybe I can do it by just pretending to love him. I only have to turn him into a fine gentleman. If I can turn him into a gentleman as quick as possible, then I can decline her offer! Then I don't have to marry him!

"You what?"

"On one condition."

"Name it."

"I will not marry him. I will turn him into a fine gentleman and I will make you proud of him. But after that, I will do nothing else. I have to decline your offer to marry to him."

I could see that she was trying to think fast whether to deal with me or not. Then, a very small smile appeared on her face.

"Okay, I agree."

"But Mrs. Li, I need to learn first. I don't know what to do. I can't deal with the love thing."

"You'll learn gradually," Then she smiled at me, holding both my hand and putting a warm grasp on it.

"Yes, I know I will." I smiled back at her.

"Good. Don't disappoint me, sweetie. This is your schedule for today. This is your personal credit card. Don't worry, I'll pay the bill. And I want you to wear something extravagant; I'll see you in your best dress tonight. This is the address." She gave me a piece of paper and a platinum credit card.

"Eh? Tonight? What for?"

"The engagement announcement of course, you'll have to meet my son after all."

"Eh?"

"Well, that's all for now. I have to go, and you can ask Rika to guide you around on your first day here. Enjoy your day, Sakura."

Mrs. Li left me alone, dumbfounded inside her room. "Hhhh… Let's see what should I do now?" I whispered to myself and quietly walked away from Mrs. Li room.

~*~

To be continued....

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A/N

Hi, good day everyone!

Some quick note:  
1. I'm going beta. And I found Rapid-chan. He accepted my request to betaread my story. This chapter is the result, and the rest is coming very very soon ;)

2. It's going to be M rated! Maybe on chapter 4 I'll put M.. Some lemon but not really lemon... its just have something to do with the plot, without lemon, I don't know how the story would be like.. You know.. how violent Syaoran is... so I'll put lemon on Syaoran action :p

3. I'll put Theme song on the first paragraph of my story... Just to let you know that the chapter is more or less, related to the song ;) It's like... inspiration to the chapter... I just feel like i have to mention it on the first place.. hope you don't mind..

4. I love you all my beloved reviewers!! Without you, this story will be nothing but a piece of MS Word files... So please please please write anything even if it's just a single short word like "ugly", "better", "sucks", or maybe "nice", "thx", or.. anything is fine!

5. I always get the notification from ff when you put my story on favorite story/ me on your fav author. My BlackBerry will beeping nonstop if I received a review notification from you guys... and when I read it, I can't seem to hold back my self to write new chapter... the idea will come out from nowhere all of sudden... and it will help me to release new chapter very very soon!!

Once again, thank you for your review... Maybe you want to help me with your incredible idea? Why not?... just write your opinion on the review should I do next with Syaoran, Sakura, or maybe Yue? or maybe you want me to put Kero-chan inside the story? hohoho :D why not? I'll immediately reply to your opinion :)

Cheers,  
Keep reviewing!!


	2. Monster

**WARNING:**

**DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DARK/ABUSIVE THINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?! THIS IS SERIOUS!!**

**IT'S A COMPLETELY OOC FIC**!!! **AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO SOME KIND OF THING, THEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS FIC IMMIDIATELY**!!

**DON'T FLAME THIS STORY, GUYS. I'M JUST BORROWING CCS CHARACTERS NAME BUT IT ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY ITSELFS.**

**YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!**

**REAL LIFE IS CRUEL AND UNEXPECTED.**

**

* * *

Theme song: Lady GaGa – Monster**

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**There were so many people passing through the alley. They were walking and chatting cheerfully, just like a friend. It was a scene that would never have been found in my previous work place.

I was in my office. It was a separated room with a glass door. The office was given to me by Mrs. Li. Rika was the one who was showing me the room. Now, I'm in charge of managing the Marketing Department so they gave me an office instead of cubicle.

I threw my butt on the sofa and sighed. This office seemed to be just as messy as my condo.

"Kinomoto-san, want to go for lunch?" Rika knocked my glass wall and smiled. I hurried to the door and opened it so that Rika could come inside.

Was it lunchtime already? Maybe that was the reason why there were so many people walking and chatting together happily. I was too busy tidying up my room to notice the time.

"Ah, thank you Rika, but I..."

A mature woman wearing a white shirt and black skirt walked up behind Rika. She's wearing round glasses and her hair was in a bun.

"You didn't seem to have brought your own lunch box, come on and join us in the cafeteria. I'll show you some very delicious food," the woman remarked.

"Ah, sorry, I'll set this cable up and then I'll go with you, thank you and sorry for the trouble."

"No way, you are no trouble at all! We're friends right? Don't hesitate to ask me if you need. Come on, let's go!" Rika said with a lot of enthusiasm. I quickly plugged the cable into a jack then locked the door so that no one could see how messy it was inside my office.

**-Cafeteria-**

"RIKA! HERE, HERE!" I saw a woman with two braids in her hair and fringe in front of her forehead sitting in one of the center of the cafeteria, waving her hand to our direction. She was indicating that the spot was reserved for us.

"Thank you Chi-chan. I thought we wouldn't get a table. Look, this place is sooo crowded!" Rika replied with a smile on her face.

"Ha, I predicted that it would be. That's why I got here early to reserve our place," the girl with the braids smiled and stuck her tongue out in Rika's direction.

"So, Kinomoto-san, this is Chiharu Yamazaki. She's married," the braided woman smiled at me and showed me the ring on her finger.

"Hi, my name's Sakura Kinomoto." I shook her hand and she smiled back.

"This is Naoko Yanagisawa and she's my Senpai." Rika pointed towards the woman in glasses.

"Oh, Yanagisawa Senpai, please take care of me while I'm here."

"Nah, don't do that Kinomoto-san, please call us by our first names. After all, our ages are the same. There is no need to add Senpai or whatever honorific. That would just make us feel uncomfortable," Yanagisawa said while playing with her mobile phone.

"Ah I see, please call me Sakura."

"Alright Sakura-Chan, call me Naoko, and you can call her Chiharu. We often call her by Chi-Chan because it's shorter."

"Oh, thank you so much. To be honest, I don't have many friends from my previous work place. We were so serious back there and we don't have much time to talk or to even tell a joke. We just simply didn't care. Can you believe that?"

"Wow, how did you survive such conditions?" asked Chiharu.

"Well, actually I'm the same way. I can't open myself up to someone I don't know that well. But since you guys are being so nice to me I can easily talk like this now. Thank you so much."

"Oh, that sucks Sakura! I'm so sorry to hear that. But now it's okay now. You can talk to us whenever you need to," Naoko said with a lot of enthusiasm.

"Thank you. Ah, anyway do you know where to buy a dress and some accessories? Tonight I have a pretty important party to attend."

I deliberately asked since I really had no idea where to buy a dress for an engagement party. I've only here for one night!

"Hmm, let's see. I think Madison Lady is a good place. They're a famous fashion lane you know." Chi-Chan answered suddenly.

"Oh, you mean the purple painted boutique? Yeah, I think that one is a good one. Let's check the address. Do you need us to accompany you?" Rika replied to Chi-Chan's comments.

"No, its okay, I'll go there by myself. I don't want to bother you guys. I'll ask a cab driver."

"Let me check on my Blackberry," said Naoko, fishing the phone out from the pocket of her skirt.

"That's brilliant Naoko!"

Naoko checked her Blackberry and wrote down something on a napkin.

"Ah, here is the address. It's just around the block from here. It won't cost too much."

"Oh okay, thank you Naoko!" I accepted the address written on the napkin and folded it.

**-Madison Lady Boutique-**

Naoko was right; the boutique was not too far from the office. This boutique was one of a number of shops in the downtown shopping district. And Madison Lady was the biggest one.

After work, exactly at five, I hurriedly chartered a cab and after a short fifteen minute ride, I finally arrived in front of the Madison Lady Boutique.

"What a gaudy shop! Sir, are you sure this is the right one?" I deliberately asked the cab driver just to make sure that this big and shiny shop was the right one.

"Yes, of course it is. Can't you see the big sign over there?"

Yeah, that's MADISON LADY BOUTIQUE and it is painted purple.

I paid the cab driver and walked to the shop door. Wow, there were so many cute and elegant dresses! The walls and even the interior are purple!!

I saw a beautiful lady with white pale skin and wearing a pink balloon dress with a pink hairclip in her hair. She smiled at me and walked towards my direction. There were three more ladies also dressed in the same outfit as her.

"Excuse me?" I half shouted from the center of the shop. I need someone to assist me and anyone is fine.

"Can I help you miss?" she said in super polite and soft voice.

"Well, I'm looking for a simple dress."

"May I ask you, what kind of occasion you'll be wearing the dress for?"

"Err, I'm not sure what it's called. Maybe it's an omiai, an arranged marriage."

"Hmm, let's see." She walked over to a shelf and put several dresses on a hanger. Then she walked back to me. "How about this one?" she gave me a silver colored knee length dress with sparkles scattered everywhere.

"Yeah, this is pretty. How much does it cost?" I didn't have much time to choose and fortunately the dress she had picked was all I needed.

"There's a price tag here, it's HKD 7,916."

I gulped when I heard the price. How in the world could I pay HKD 7,000 for a dress! Shoot!

"Wow that sure costs a lot! Could you please give me more of a discount?" My bargaining nature had finally come out.

"Hmm, let's see… I'll give you a forty percent discount but with one condition!" she said, winking her eye on me.

"Eh, a condition? Well, let's hear it." I sweat dropped at her sudden expression.

"You have to be my model." she said quickly.

"Ha, model! Do you mean a photo model?"

What a joke! I had no idea what she's talking about! Me a model, are you freaking kidding me! This morning I was shocked by marriage proposal, and now a modeling offer? What in the world is going on?

"Yes of course, what else? Here is my business card." She picked a small box and took out her business card which she gave to me.

I scanned through her business card. Tomoyo Daidoudji. To my surprise, she's the owner of Madison Lady. I was quite surprised. The person serving me was the owner herself? I can't believe it! She must be an expert in fashion!

"Ms. Daidoudji, I'll call you later on. Err, because I need to go now. My schedule is tight but I promise I'll call you tomorrow by noon. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll give you this for HKD 4,749. Please write down your mobile number here. So I can keep in contact with you."

"Oh, that's a good idea!! Thank you so much!!" I quickly wrote down my mobile phone number and paid the bill.

"Yes. Please do come here often."

**-Home-**

I looked at myself in the mirror. Not bad, that Tomoyo Daidoudji sure has a high fashion sense. I wore my mother's necklace, a small black leather handbag and slipped my foot into 13 cm heels. I was ready to go.

Just when I locked my door, I heard running footsteps approaching me.

"Ah, Sakura-san!"

"Steffy? What's up?"

"Are you going somewhere?" she wiped the sweat off her forehead.

"Yes. I have a dinner invitation."

"Wow, no wonder you look fabulous! Perfect!!"

"Oh, you're embarrassing me, Steffy!! But thank you."

"Ah, I almost forgot. Actually, there is something I have to tell you. There was a guy in a black suit with glasses probably in his thirties. He gave me this key. He told me this is the keys to your car. He told me I have to give you the key before six pm. And thank goodness I found you here before six pm! I was afraid that he might kill me!"

"Hey, hey, calm down Steffy! You'll be okay! Let me have the key. I know who sent it anyway."

Yeah, who else? It must have been sent by Mrs. Li.

"Oh, thank you Sakura. Here is the key and here is the license plate number." She gave me a scrap piece of paper and a key.

"Thank you! See you tomorrow Steffy!"

I walked around the condominium parking lot and found a car with the same license plate number as the paper in my hand. I pushed the remote button once.

PIP!

Yep, this is the one. Silver Lexus HS Hybrid. I knew this car cost something like thirty thousand dollars! Oh My God, I would never ever be able to afford this kind of car. Well, for Li's, this is less than I expected.

I pushed the start engine button and automatically the GPS set the navigation to the place I supposed to go. Wow, I felt like Frank Martin on Transporter. Ha ha, I mentally laughed at myself. So funny!

I drove the car out from the parking lot and following the directions given on GPS System.

**-Li Mansion-**

What a magnificent house. Well, this house is owned by Sonyc Corp's founder after all.

I stopped right in front of a big gate and suddenly it automatically opened, then I opened up my window and heard a sound coming from the monitor attached to the gate.

"Ms. Sakura Kinomoto, please drive your car to the main entrance ahead of you. There'll be a big fountain, just park your car there. My servant will guide you."

I hadn't even said my thank you yet when that mainly voice disappeared all of sudden. I drove the car towards the intended direction. Then I saw a gaudy fountain with so many colorful lights on it. A man in his sixties walked towards me and smiled. I opened my window.

"Ms. Sakura Kinomoto, welcome to the Li Mansion. Lady Yelan has waited inside for almost ten minutes. You may go inside. I'll take care of your car from here."

Huh, ten minutes? It's only for ten minutes for God's sake!!

He gently opened the door of the car and held my hand, so I could carefully get out from the car as though I was a fragile porcelain ceramic figure.

"Thank you, but this is not my car. You can do anything with it, this isn't mine!"

"Oh, well then I beg your pardon for my rude comment my young lady." he closed his eyes and bowed deeply.

I suddenly realized that my last words were terribly rude.

"NO!! No need to apologize for that! Please call me Sakura. I hate it when people use honorifics on me. Please don't say it again."

"But young lady, it would be rude if..."

"Ah, by the way what is your name?"

"I'm Wei Yuan. I've been serving the Li family for almost forty years. I've been chosen by the young master to be his personal servant."

"Oh, so in return I'll call you Wei. And you call me Sakura. That's the deal. Okay! You can't say no!"

"Okay then Sakura-san."

"Nah, that's good!"

"Let me guide you inside, Sakura-san. Everybody's waiting."

I walked inside the main door of the house. Oh, there was a big chandelier hanging right in the center of the room. Then there were two big statues and paintings hanging everywhere. It's not a house!! It's a ballroom!!

Curious, I took the liberty to ask Wei some questions.

"Wei-san, can I ask you some questions?" I asked him while we're walking.

"I'll do my best to answer your questions Sakura-san."

"Um, how many people and exactly who has been waiting for me?" I carefully asked him.

"Hmm, well, there is Li Yelan a single parent for her children. Her children are four sisters. The first is a very fine young lady Fuutie Kim Jun. She's married to a wealthy Korean businessman. Unfortunately, last month she lost her first child because of a miscarriage. The second one is Shiefa, a very attractive young lady who is engaged to a prince from Baghdad, Iraq. She's good at music, especially the piano. The third one is Fanren, the tomboy. She's the most adventurous among the four, even though she's a woman; she loves to go hiking, auto racing, and all kinds of boys stuff. The fourth one is Feimei; she's good at cooking and housekeeping stuff. She always was a mother to all the siblings. Even the oldest act spoiled in front of her. And the last is young master. He's twenty four this year and he's also the heir of the Li Empire. I'm the one who took care of him from the day he was born. I kind of can tell what's on his mind sometimes. Just about two years ago, Master Clow Reed Li, their father, died from a heart attack."

"A heart attack?"

"Ah, my apologies Sakura-san, I believe I have no rights to tell you all the details. That is fully the young master's right whether to tell you the whole story. I'm sorry."

"Nah, that's okay. It was my fault for asking you such a rude question."

Not long after my last words, he stopped walking and looked at me intensely.

"Sakura-san, Lady Yelan and the rest are inside this hall. I have to leave you here. Thank you for letting me have such a warm chat with a fine young lady like you. I hope you are the one to take care of me in the future."

I smiled at his comment and then he left. I looked at a pair of big door in front of me. I wonder what it feels like to be inside. What kind of person I'll meet? Will they be like Mrs. Li? Or the opposite? Man, I'm sweating a lot!!

KNOCK KNOCK

"Excuse me!!"

"Ah, there you are!! Come in, Sakura!! Wow, I like your dress. You look modern and dazzling!!" I honestly didn't know how to react to Mrs. Li comments. Dazzling? Does she try to insult me or praise me? I can't decide!

"Thank you so much, Mrs. Li?" I deliberately added a questioning tone to my last words.

"Feimei, show Sakura to her seat."

"Yes Mother!"

A young woman in her late twenties led me to an available chair near her. Once we sat down she extended her right hand to me and smiled.

"I'm Feimei, the youngest daughter. Can I call you Sakura?"

"Yes, please call me Sakura!"

"I heard that you are a good cook. I always love to try new recipes I would like to cook some Japanese food together with you!!"

"Ah, it would be my pleasure. Please do come to my place when you have time. I'll try my best to help you out."

"Sakura is sooo kawaii!"

"Eh?" I sweat dropped at her reaction.

"I hope you'll get along with my rude brother. I know he'll love you at the first sight!!"

"He?"

"Where are the others, Feimei?" Mrs. Li asked curiously.

"I saw all my sisters in their own walk-in closet confusedly picking up every best dress they could wear for tonight. Wait, I'll check on them."

Oh, God. Now I'm alone in this room with Mrs. Li sitting quietly in front of me. What should I do? I don't want her to see that I'm sweating so much here.

"Sakura, you look very beautiful tonight. You picked a very beautiful dress, but that dress still is not as beautiful as yourself. I adore you so much, sweetie. I'm sure that I was right to choose you to be with my son. If only my husband could meet you, I'm sure he'd be happy as I am."

Thank goodness, she said it first. Now, I feel more comfortable.

"Mrs. Li, you're exaggerating too much." I answered shyly.

"No honey, that's true! Wait, I wonder what's taking Syaoran and the others so long. I'll go check on them. Please wait here. Don't go anywhere."

"Yes."

While everybody's not in this room, I busily looked around. There was a big painting, a Picasso maybe, hanging behind me, luxurious porcelain, and expensive looking wall lamps.

"So, you are Sakura Kinomoto?"

I glanced toward the voice coming from a person I don't know.

"Eh?" that was the only word I could say.

Then a guy in black suit, tall and slender with messy hair came from a dark corner in the room. I couldn't see his face.

"The one my mother's choose to be my fiancé?"

"Ah, yes." I don't know why suddenly I felt so nervous.

"You know what? I feel so sorry for you for having no sex appeal at all." He walked over and sat on a chair right in front of me.

I couldn't say a word. I really had no idea what to say.

"I hate a plain, naïve, and boring girl like you. I know what my mother did. How much she bought you? Hah! I will never ever love you. Even if we're married, I will simply neglect you, and don't you ever interfere with my business. I'll say this for you to remember: I'll make you decline my mother's offer. Even if we're already married, I will never love you and will make you suffer so you'll ask me for a divorce. That will be easy for me. You hear that, boring chick?"

What a rude comment. It's a pity for a handsome guy like him to have such a rude attitude.

"Should I answer?" I looked at his eyes with defiance

He looks surprised by my comment and 'tsk'-ing.

"Wow, a boring chick here dare to talk back to me!!! What the hell!!"

SPLASH!

He spilled a glass of champagne in my face. I gasped and look intensely at his eyes. Then I stood up from my seat and silently walked to the nearest toilet.

I turned the tap water on in the sink and looked at my face in the mirror. Oh, some of my ponytail, face, neck and the upper portion of my breasts were wet and sticky. Damn _young master_! I was extremely upset but I didn't cry. I don't feel sad at all. Damn!

I washed the wet part with wet tissue and dried it with a dry one. Then after everything seemed to be okay, I left the bathroom and headed back to the hall.

When I reach back to the hall, everyone was there waiting for me.

"Sakura, are you okay? Where have you been?"

"I was in the rest room just now. I can't hold bladder for more than five minutes." I put a smile as if what I'm saying was so funny.

"AH, she's so cute!" Three beautiful women gathered around me, pinching and hugging me like crazy.

"Sorry for my sister's rudeness Sakura-san! Nee-sama, please behave yourself." It was that rude guy from before told his sister sweetly. Yuck! I really want to puke already.

"Sakura, I'll introduce you to my sisters. She is Fuutie Kim Jun. She supposed to be in South Korea now. But, since she's so curious about you, she took the earliest flight this morning in order to see her soon to be sister in law."

"I'll bring you to my home in Seoul. You'll love that city!!" said Fuutie in a cheerful voice.

"Thank you Fuutie-san."

"This one is my second sister, Shiefa. She's engaged to the prince of Baghdad."

"Sakura, I'll bring you to Baghdad. It's so beautiful especially for a honeymoon."

"Ah, thank you Shiefa-san."

"This one is my third sister, Fanren... She's good at sports and she's the head of our father's company foundation."

"I heard you're very good at sports as well. Let's have a match sometimes."

"Of course, I'll definitely win Fanren-san!!"

"The last one is Syaoran. He's the heir of Li Empire. He's two years older than you. But he's actually quite a child!" Feimei said with a loud giggle.

"Say whatever you like nee-sama, as long as my fiancé is happy, I'll do anything."

Who… what's with that attitude? Where is the rudeness he had shown me just thirty minutes ago? He really is something.

"So, everybody's here. I'll just make this quick!" Mrs. Li finally said.

"Ah, mother, why do you always want everything to be so quick?" Fanren was pouting like five years old kid.

"Mother, don't rush this thing. Sakura still wants to have some fun with us!!" following Fanren, Shiefa pouted as well.

"No, sweetie, please I just want to announce this short thing and then you can do what you like with her. That's the deal!" Mrs. Li said with gentle voice.

"Okay, mother," the three sisters said together.

"Sakura, come here."

I walked over and stood beside her and lowered my head. "Syaoran, come here. Give her this ring and say the sacred words. Here, right in front of your family and your fiancé. Make me proud Son!"

He walked quietly and set his foot right in front of mine. Then he reached out and took my hand and held it tightly. His hazel eyes peered into my emerald ones. He acted too well and I almost fell into that brilliant deep hazel sea in his eyes. When he smoothly caressed my hand, I could feel a cold shudder run down my spine. When he held both of my hand tightly and brought them up to his lips and kissed them gently. I really wanted to beat him up.

"Sakura Kinomoto, will you marry me and make me the happiest man alive?"

My heart was throbbing like crazy when he said those words. I kept staring at his eyes. I knew this playboy was acting. So that's why I didn't intend to take it seriously.

"Are you sure you want to marry me?" I replied with so many doubts on my face.

"Of course I do! You are the one my mother has chosen for me. I know she will only give me the best. And you are the best thing in the world."

What a joke!! I really wanted to puke in his face right here, right now.

"Do you really mean it?" I added more doubt to the question.

"Of course I do. I want to marry you; I want you to be the one to make me happy. Sakura, don't make me wait please."

HAH! 'Sakura'? Why in the hell are you casually calling me 'Sakura'? Ugh, I don't even want to say your given name! Maybe I'll call you Li even if we're married!

"Say, do you love me?" I asked. This time, I put a lot of pressure on the question.

"Of course I do. I love you, I can't live without you. Do you doubt my feelings for you? Please, Sakura, don't tease me for so long. I need you to answer me!" he looked at me with a puppy eyes. Oh, man... I'm bad at this thing...

"Well then, yes I will marry you." I finally answered with no expression on my face.

Then he put a silver ring on my finger. That ring looked so expensive. I'll have to keep this. I can't afford to lose this one.

"Thank you, Sakura!! I love you," he kissed my hand once again.

Everyone in the room was applauding like crazy. And that was really annoying the hell out of me!

"Hmm, Syaoran, why not kiss her?" Mrs. Li asked with a puzzled face.

EEK! KISS! Wait.., wait..!

"Yeah brother, you know quite well how to kiss!" Shiefa added to Mrs. Li comment and giggled a lot.

"Well, actually I intend to do just that. But I'm afraid that Sakura will reject me for being rude."

Nah, you admit yourself for being rude!!

"Come on, Sakura!! He's your fiancé, kissing is not a big deal! You both should do it more often like how a couple would do!!" Fuutie looked at me suspiciously.

"Of course I would like my future husband to kiss me, but a girl never asks for a kiss, right nee-sama?" I winked my eye in Fuutie's direction.

"Oh Sakura, you're so good at refusing things. But you still have to do it. Ah, let's call it seal the vow with a gentle kiss?" Feimei added wisely.

"Yes that sounds nice!!" Mrs. Li agreed with Feimei's comment.

My mouth hadn't said anything just yet, but he already grabbed my hand and pulling me close, and kissed my forehead gently.

"I will never let you guys know all the details. That's OUR privacy!" he mumbled quite loud with his lips still on my forehead.

That's disgusting!

"Ah, Syaoran, you're so annoying!" Fanren shouted at Syaoran.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you all. But we have to head back home! I want to enjoy every little thing with my Sakura." He casually put her arm around me and pushed me gently towards the exit door.

"Syaoran, please take care of her." Fuutie said with a concerned look in her eyes.

"You guys don't have to worry. She'll be in good hands."

Ugh, please don't say gross thing like that and don't casually put your hand on my shoulder either!!

**-Inside the car-**

His hand had been on my shoulder for almost ten minutes. I couldn't take it and I tried to keep a safe distant even though we're so close to each other.

"What's with the fake gentlemen's attitude all of sudden?" I asked him right after I set my butt in the passenger seat.

"I'm a genuine playboy, I can act gently to others and it's not a big deal! One more thing, I don't have any intention of saying those things to you. Don't ever take it seriously. I will never ever mean to say those sacred things to you. Furthermore, what's the difference between 'I love you' and 'I hate you' that doesn't make any sense at all? Don't tell me you got carried away with those lies?"

"Hah, as if!" I said it without looking at him. I kept my eyes on the window as if there was a very interesting thing outside the window.

He looked annoyed by my short reply and cold reaction.

"Good, now I'll drive you home and don't you ever act like you are my fiancé in front of my friends. I'll kill you if you ever do that. Remember!!"

Whoa! Is he threatening me?

"Like I will! Engaged with a guy like you! HAH! That's the worst!" I kept staring to every object outside the window. Hearing his voice already made me sick, what if I looked at his face. I'll faint, maybe?

"Tsk, you chicks talk back too much. When I sat something, all you should do is listen. I don't need your comments or what so ever might come from your mouth, Okay! Tsk, I hate stupid girls like you even more! What a pain!"

I tried my best to hold back my anger and tears. It's not that I wanted to cry, I was just extremely upset.

He parked the car in parking lot without saying anything. I just quickly get out of the car.

"HEY!! WAIT, what's with that attitude? You are MY fiancé, you have to ask me first when you're about to do something! Even if it's just about get out of the car!!"

I stopped and turned my back, looking at him intensely. I walked towards him, and stopped right in front of his face.

"What exactly do you want?"

"Want what?"

"What exactly do you want from me?"

"I want you to obey everything I say to you! Every single thing!! You hear me?!"

"NO!! HELL NO!! I WILL NEVER OBEY YOUR ORDERS! YOU AREN'T MY DAD, YOU AREN'T MY FRIEND! YOU ARE NOT EVEN MY HUSBAND!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING TO ME!! GO AWAY!!"

He tried to grab my wrists and lock me with his hand on my back. His other hand tried to cover my mouth to keep me from southing out loud. "LE... LET ME GO!!"

"Shut up you bitch!!"

"BITCH?! WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOUR MOTHER ABOUT..."

Before I could finish what I would say, he planted his mouth on mine. He kissed me so deeply; I couldn't inhale a single breath. His hand, which previously covered my mouth was now grabbing the left side of my waist and caressing it slowly. He pushed me to the car's hood and I couldn't keep standing. So I fell back onto the car's hood, lying there with him above me, caressing my thigh.

I tried with all my effort to let go of him but his hand was holding my wrist tightly so I feel like it would be useless to fight back, but I kept trying.

Now he's slipping his dirty tongue inside my mouth and tried to suck my tongue. "Ugh, let me... agghh!!! Hmmpppfft..." is all I can say. I can feel his hand moving from my thighs to inside my skirt. I try to fight back with my foot, kicking and closing them so he can't reach my inner thighs.

Once he reached my panties, I couldn't think anymore. When his finger played with my panties and rubbed my clit hard, I abruptly bite his lower lip. He was out of control and I used the situation as my opportunity to stop this crap.

"You're hurting me!!" He shouted at me while his hand covered his mouth.

"That's what you get for taking away my first kiss! I'll never let you go any further!"

"Huh, just see… I'll make you quit complaining and you'll obey all my orders!"

"Try me!! We'll see, _young master_!!" I deliberately put a pressure on the last word, mocking his childish behavior.

Then I ran away as fast as I could. I didn't want to see his face anymore!! I'm sick and tired of his rude attitude!! I pushed the button beside elevator door and thanked goodness the door opened immediately. I pushed number nine and the door closed. I looked at myself in the mirror inside the elevator. The bottom of the dress I was wearing was now ripped up to the part that covered my stomach. My hair was messy, both of my wrists were red and scratched, my lips were red and swollen; every part on my body was in pain.

Once the elevator door opened, I hurriedly put my key in the door and went inside. I looked at everything around me and all I could see was darkness. I couldn't seem to hold my tears any longer and I laid back on the door and start sobbing.

It hurt!

Damn!

It hurts like crazy!!

Why did it happen to me? Why should it be me? I never asked for it, God!!

~*~

To be continued…

* * *

It's BETA!!!!

Thank you for my best friend, Rapid-chan for correcting this chapter.

The rest of the chapter will come very soon.

As for one of my reviewers _**Larthis**_, I will make Sakura to describe more on the 4th chapter. It's pretty hard for me, because I want this story to be seen from Sakura POV. I can see the point why you said that I'm 'rushing' it… I'm a beginner after all; I'm pretty bad on describing the situation in English. But I'll try my best to consult it to Rapid-chan and find the way out. Anyway what do you think about this chapter? Hope you like it.

Hi all my beloved readers!! Please tell me about this chapter? How is it? Feel free to write your opinion. I'll be waiting!! :)

**Please review :)**


	3. Forever and For Always

**WARNING:**

**DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DARK/ABUSIVE THINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?! THIS IS SERIOUS!!**

**IT'S A COMPLETELY OOC FIC**!!! **AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO SOME KIND OF THING, THEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS FIC IMMIDIATELY**!!

**DON'T FLAME THIS STORY, GUYS. I'M JUST BORROWING CCS CHARACTERS NAME BUT IT ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY ITSELFS.**

**YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!**

**REAL LIFE IS CRUEL AND UNEXPECTED.

* * *

**

_**Theme song: Shania Twain - Forever and for Always**_

* * *

I couldn't sleep last night. I tried to, but failed. I lay on the floor in front of a big home theater TV screen in the living room. I was curled up on my stomach, hugging a soft blanket I had brought from my previous apartment in Tokyo.

My body was hurting all over and I could still feel his dirty hand groping the lower part of my body.

Damn! I hate him! I really hate him!

I looked at the digital clock on the top of TV and sighed softly. It was already four in the morning and I couldn't seem to close my eyes. Yesterday was in the past and I'm already so tired. For the first time in my life I really wanted to take a day off.

I sat up and crossed my legs. I rubbed my eyes several times and ran my hand through my auburn hair, sighing softly.

"Hmm… what should I do now? Man, I'm so tired!"

I decided to take a long hot bath. I stood up and walked into the bathroom. I took off my clothes and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked at my lips and brought my face up to the mirror to get a closer look. Then touched it…. my first kiss.

My beautiful first kiss turned out to be a painful kiss!

I roughly rubbed my lips with my hand. It hurt! It hurt a lot!! But on the other hand, I felt so dirty!

A single tear escaped through a narrow side of my eyes. I didn't even know the reason why I was crying. Was it from rubbing my lips roughly? Or was it the tremendous pain filling up inside me.

~*~

I reached the office at exactly seven o'clock. I sighed in relief when I opened up the door and saw that my office wasn't as messy as it was yesterday. Now, I can finally get to work!

The day seemed to go by so fast. I've been in my office for the whole day. I locked the door and closed the black horizontal blinds so that no one could see what I was doing inside.

Naoko did call me to join them for lunch, but I couldn't make it today and promised to go for lunch together next time.

I looked through the horizontal blinds and realized that the day had ended and now the darkness of night filled the sky. I sat back in my chair and checking some papers.

Suddenly I heard someone knock roughly on the door.

Tsk, I haven't finished recapping some of the reports yet.

I jumped from my chair and took a quick walk to the door and opened the lock.

There stood a tall man with deep hazel colored eyes and messy brown hair wearing a black long sleeved shirt and black trousers with and a pair of shiny black Blüchers. His jacket was on his folded arms just above his stomach. He was resting his back against the door frame and set his eyes on the other side of the door frame in front of him, not on me.

"Mother tried to call you but you didn't pick up. She wanted me to check up on you. And since you're still _breathing_ here… means that I shouldn't waste my time any longer. One more thing, I know mother will tell you to come to my penthouse soon and I want you to tell her any rational excuse to deny her order so that you will not come to my penthouse to check me out. Do you hear me? Don't you ever set your foot in my territory! That includes my work space on the 20th floor."

I glanced out the window behind my desk, uninterested in his story.

"Anything else?"

"It's getting late. Go home before eleven or they'll lock you up."

I glanced at my tiny silver colored watch on my left wrist. It was almost nine pm.

"I know."

With that, he turned his back and walked through the hallway with his right hand on his shoulder grabbing at his jacket and placing the other in his pocket.

I closed the door and placed my handbag on my desk. I opened the bag and looked for my mobile phone. After a bit of rummaging I found my black flip phone. I sighed as I looked at the display. There were nineteen missed calls; fourteen of them were from Mrs. Li. I felt a sudden guilt inside my stomach. I felt an urge to call her back, and quickly dialed her number. The phone rang several times before a gentle voice picked it up.

"Sakura, sweetie where are you?"

"Mrs. Li, I'm sorry to worry you like this. I had no idea that you tried to call me so many times. I'm terribly sorry, please forgive me Mrs. Li."

"Honey, please don't say sorry anymore. I do worry about you when I can't reach you for the whole day! How can I keep myself calm? Please don't do that anymore."

"Yes, Mrs. Li."

"Oh, sweetie, quit that 'Mrs. Li' thing! I'm your mother now, so please call me mother from now on."

I hesitated for a second; I could feel my heart melting from her soft motherly voice. I missed this kind of a feeling.

"Sakura, are you okay?"

"Ye… yes, mo… mother. I'm just a bit tired. I have to catch up with my new job and I have to finish everything by tomorrow."

"Sakura, you don't have to do that. There is plenty of time for you to finish! You can take your time, just work at it slowly."

"Yes, mother. I'm sorry."

"Tell me, did Syaoran ask you to come home with him?"

"N… Yes, he did but... well… uh, actually… I, uh, he said he, wanted me to finish up my work. I forced him to go home first. Yeah, I was afraid that he'd catch a cold from waiting for me at this late hour. He looked so sleepy and tired, so I told him to go home and rest. Yeah…"

"Oh, that was so sweet of you Sakura. Well then, I'll see you tomorrow. Actually, I planned to drop by your office tomorrow, maybe for a quick lunch? How's that sound?"

"Well, errr... I... him, let's see, oh I don't have any prior plans for tomorrow. Sooo, I'll see you tomorrow, mother."

"Okay then sweetie, hurry up and go home or you'll be locked up!"

"Thank you mother."

"Good night, I Love you sweetie."

"Love you, mother."

I hung up and tossed my mobile phone into my handbag. I put my right hand on the desktop mouse and staring blankly at the computers flat screen.

I feel so horribly guilty for making Mrs. Li worried like that. She's so gentle and motherly. She's caring and loving me like her own daughter. I can't possibly disappoint her just because I get annoyed by her spoiled son. The rest of Li family was very good to me. I have to show them some of my gratitude for their kindness towards me.

I'll show them who the brat here is really!

~*~

I arrived home at eleven thirty that night. I was extremely tired but somehow still managed to wake up at seven as usual.

Today I opened up the horizontal blind in my room completely. I decided to take it easy today, but still I've got so many things to do.

KNOCK KNOCK!

Someone was knocking and before I could ask anything, they opened up the door.

"Sakura."

"Ah, mother, please come in!"

I guided her to the soft black sofa beside the door and looked for something edible inside the mini fridge in my office.

"No need to prepare anything Sakura! We'll have a lunch after this. Where do you want to go?"

I glanced at my watch, it was 11.30 already.

"Will the office cafeteria do?" I said in reply.

"Too bad honey, but I want something French, like Basil Salmon Terrine." She winked her eye at me.

"Okay then mother, I'll drive you." I reached in the drawer to get to my car keys.

"Thank you, sweetie."

As I walked to the parking lot, I could see that everyone's eyes were on me. Well, I am walking together with Mrs. Li after all.

Wearing a leather jacket and fur scarf around her neck. Black heels and black trousers, she looked elegant and honorable. As expected from a Li!! She looked like the one in the movie, The Devil wears Prada.

"So, where should I go from here?" I asked my mother when we were about to reach the nearby shopping district.

"Fourth Avenue is after this traffic light, turn right and it's the third building on the block."

I followed her directions and parked the car in front of a restaurant that was displaying a big French flag on the sign.

After ordering our food, Mrs. Li is starting to stare at me with a soft smile on her face.

"What is it, mother?"

"Nothing, I just can't believe the fact that you're so adorable. I wish I could see the grandchildren from you and Syaoran. They'll be so perfect. You know, I'm quite old and Syaoran is now at the best age to get married. I wonder how he is doing with you. Are you two all right?"

"O... of course. He loves me so much. Maybe I was the one who wasn't aware of his feelings. I was so immersed in my job."

"Sakura, don't let your job drive your feelings. You'll be the one suffering and I don't want that to happen. Why so serious? Once you're married to Syaoran, you won't have to work in order to have a wealthy life. And to be honest, you'll be as rich as Syaoran! His salary will be more than enough for your little family."

"No, I don't plan for it to be like that. I want to work even during my maternity leave. I have to do something, mother. I'm not the type of girl who would slack off and do nothing but shopping. That's not me!"

"But what about your kids?"

"I will be the one who takes care of them and it has nothing to do with my work. I can do both of just fine."

"But that will leave you much too tired to serve Syaoran honey."

GULP!

My eyes opened wide on her comment. To serve him? Oh, I'm afraid I'd been infected with AIDS.

"Th… then I'll somehow manage it, so that I can do it all. I believe I can do it just fine. All of them are my priorities, so I can't just abandon one of them. Don't worry mother, I'll take care of it."

Then suddenly she reached out for my hand and took hold of it tightly. I felt so warm.

"Yes honey, I believe you can do that it just fine. If it's you, I believe everything will be all right."

I blushed at her comment and squeezed her hand warmly.

"Thank you, mother."

About five minutes later our delicious food arrived at the table.

"Sakura, have you ever been in love?" She asked me while enjoying a slice of chocolate cake.

"Eh? Why are you suddenly asking?"

"Just out of curiosity."

"Well, I haven't. But if you count my job, then I've been always in love with my job."

Mother's smile turned to a giggle when I finished my answer.

"Oh, sweetie, that's the oddest thing I've ever heard! How about men? How about boyfriend?"

"That's a big NO then. I've never had a boyfriend."

"What do you think of Syaoran? He's so handsome, right?"

"Yes, he's so perfect and mature. He's so loving and kind to me that I couldn't ask him for more Mother, just as I'd expect from a mother such as you."

"Sakura, are you trying to praise me?"

"No! That's not want I want to do mother."

"Nah, Sakura, do you want to know a little bit about Syaoran from me?"

EH, why should I?

"Yes, mother. I've been planning to ask you about that today." I replied, stuffing a fork tangled with spaghetti into my mouth.

"Okay, so, Syaoran always acts cool towards everyone. He was pretty quiet back then, until the day when he finally inherited his father's power. He began to disobey his family and went through all his crazy desires. I can somehow tell that he wanted to show his father that once he became adult, he could do anything he wanted without worrying about it. He has that businessmen's nature from his father. So, he's actually pretty good with business dealings. But the point is _**his mood to work hard always depends on how much money he'll get**_."

"So… you mean that, Syaoran has become a rebel?"

I thought he was a jerk from the beginning.

"Yes, honey. The worst was the day when Syaoran came home with a woman who was four years older than him. Syaoran said that he'd had proposed to this woman and intended to marry her. He brought her home to ask for our blessing. But upon hearing her background, my husband immediately rejected him and shooed them out of the house. The next day, my husband told Wei to give her some money on the condition that she must leave Syaoran's life forever. Because her main goal was money, she quickly agreed and broke up with Syaoran.

Syaoran who did not know anything about it was very surprised when he found out the truth from his father's own mouth. He could not understand why his father was so angry. Hearing vulgar things that he'd never heard before from Syaoran, his father was surprised and had a sudden heart attack. They argued like mad and didn't want to lose to each other. After the argument with his father, Syaoran did not come home. He went somewhere and came back home three days later. He came back because he'd gotten notified by Wei that his father had died after three days in a coma.

After that incident Syaoran no longer believed in feelings like love and affection. He believes it just happened because he has money. If money's talking, then the heart will change. Money can buy everything, including love and feelings. He believed that until now. That is why he preferred to play with women and spent time to make business deals with clients, never caring to settle down and make a family. He's afraid that money will destroy his life. As long as he still cares about money, then he can be serious about this so-called commitment."

I could see the pain in her motherly eyes. It was like she lost her husband and her son at the same time. I couldn't believe that Syaoran had that kind of past. I wondered, maybe that's the reason why he'd acted rude to me, because I'm about to settle down with him. Maybe, I should change my strategy; I too have lost one of my parents. I somehow I understand his feelings. Should I be gentle to him and try to behave myself in front of him? Succumbing For so many reasons that I can't describe, I felt so sad that my heart shrunk.

When I looked into her watery eyes my vision started to blur and my throat become tight.

"I'm sorry, mother... I know… I shouldn't ask this question in the first place, I'm so… sorry..." I started to sob, but I quickly grabbed a napkin in front of me and covered my face with it.

"No, honey, don't apologize. I know your husband will love you anyway and I believe he'll also want you to be the one who will change his life! Please, cheer up honey."

"No, mother, I was rude. I'm so sorry…"

She just smiled and stroked my head softly until I calmed down. Then we quickly finished up the meal and headed back to the office.

~*~

It has been a week since I met Syaoran. The last time I saw him was when he told me that he'll be going away for a business trip. He actually didn't want to tell me anything about it, but since he was afraid that his mother would suspect things like how in the world an engaged couple didn't know where their partner was. Or she would ask if we were fighting? She might even call a marriage counselor to reunite us!'

"Kim, can you please recheck the report you gave me yesterday. There are a few things you need to change. I marked the wrong one, so please finish it as soon as possible."

Thirty minutes later.

"Sakura, there is an international call for you on line three. It's from Russia, regarding some upcoming production plans."

"Oh yes, that would be Mr. Roberts! I've been waiting for him to finally call! Thanks Angie, please connect me."

Another thirty minutes.

"Sakura, don't forget to attend the general meeting at 2 o'clock!" Naoko's head poked through the half-open office door.

It took me five seconds to get my eyes off from the desktop screen. "Thanks' Naoko, I'll see you later!" I replied with my usual smile and once Naoko had closed the door, I got back to scanning through the thousands of reports on my PC.

~*~

I gathered my stuff and preparing for the general meeting on the 18th floor. I glanced at the clock hanging above my offices door.

"Shit, I only have five more minutes!"

I dashed through the corridor to the elevator. But before I could reach the elevator, I clumsily tripped on my heels and dropped the stuff I had prepared. Papers scattered everywhere! Business cards, staff identification cards, my agenda, my pen, and a hair clip. I always brought a hair clip to pin my fringe when things got confusing or I got stressed out. I will use it to get a rid of my annoying bang in front of my eyes.

A guy in a black suit began picking my stuff up. "Hey!" I said suddenly touched his pale hand while trying to stop him from picking up my stuff. Was there was a robber inside this fully secured building just to steal my pen and paper away?

"What are you doing?"

He stopped and looking at me plainly. "Of course I'm helping you out, so you can catch that wide open elevator!"

I looked at his finger which was pointing to the elevator. Yes, it's open, I should hurry!

"Oh, thank you. I'm just err... rather suspicious about, uh… kindness."

He burst out a very gentle laugh. "You're so funny! Hurry up and go to the elevator before it closes!"

"Thank you so much!"

Without even thinking about who the hell he was, I just dashed to the elevator and pressed number eighteen. I just couldn't forget his gentle smile. It's not that I love him at the first sight, but it was just so refreshing to see that gentle smile in between this 'hell like' work time.

I set my butt in one of the meeting room chairs, but I can't stop yawning like a cat.

"All right ladies and gentleman, I need your attention please. Here, on ME!" hearing someone emphasizing that last word forcefully, I couldn't help but be curious and looked up to see who the person was.

"Ah! He..." I know him!! He is the one who was helping me out earlier! The guy in black suit!

"Okay, ladies and gentleman. I'm here for a very short meeting to announce some important schedules. I'm back from the Paris branch and I've found some helpful things that will lead us to the top of electronics market. I would like to apply some of the methods I learned from the European market. He kept the meeting running smoothly and he kept his eyes on the audience. He looked at them one by one as if he was checking whether they had paid attention or not.

As the meeting ended an hour later I gathered up my stuff and began to head back to my office as fast as I could. But before I could go, a very gentle hand stopped me and called out my name. "Kinomoto Sakura?" I turn around and saw that manly voice belonged to a man with specs and pale skin. He smiled at me gently.

"Yes? What can I do for you err…? Mr. Yue, if I'm not mistaken?"

"Oh, I thought you'd forget me already."

"No way! Um, thank you for earlier, I had no idea that you were working here and I thought you were some kind of a prankster who wanted to tease me about my eh… clumsiness."

"Hell no! I just want to help, that's all! I heard from Mr. Richards that there was a pretty lady who is taking charge of my position while I'm away."

"Oh, so you're my senior then! I'm so sorry, Mrs. Yelan never told me about you. She just moved me here like three weeks ago and told me to be the marketing manager."

"No, no, no it's okay! I just wanted to check up on my junior. I'm the Vice President of the Sales Department, so it's not a big deal at all! I just wanted to tell you that if you have any questions, just ask me. That job was previously mine, so I know it better than anyone else."

"Thank you so much! I will let you know if I'm troubled with this job."

"That's good! We can discuss it while having lunch or dinner!"

I think that's a good idea, to discuss about work while having lunch. Rather than discussing about love and gossip while having lunch. Somehow, I couldn't deny his offer.

"Yeah, that's good idea. Here is my business card. Oh look at the time; I should be heading back to my office. Please excuse me Mr. Yue!"

"See you around."

I closed the door and held my breath for a second. WHOAAAA!! What a nice and mature guy. He really is easy to talk to. Just like talking to my older brother Touya. Except, he's not the bully type like my nii-san!

~*~

Now, it's been a month since I arrived in Hong Kong. Syaoran will be back from the United States in three days. I've been having a good time with my 'new' friends and 'new' family. I've been going for lunch with Naoko, Rika, and Chiharu. Sometimes, in my spare time I'll discuss work related things with Yue. We've become very good friends, often having lunch or dinner along with a bunch of papers, a netbook, and a calculator scattered everywhere.

There was one thing that was bugging me every day. Lately, mother's condition has been pretty bad. I don't know why, maybe it's because of the weather. After all, it's the peak of winter and maybe her body can't tolerate the cold. She is quite old after all.

I told Wei to take good care of mother. I went to check on her every day after I'm done with work.

"Hi, Mother." I kissed her cheek and sat next to her on the bed. "I brought some Chinese porridge and some books for you."

"Oh, thank you sweetie. Oh, you bought a lot did you? Yesterday, you bought me a basket of expensive fruit. And the day before you bought me a knitting set. The day before that day you gave me… um, what's that? I forgot it already?"

I just giggled at her comments. I opened up the porridge and poured it to a small bowl. Then I started to feed the porridge to mother.

"Don't worry, mother. I just want you to get well as soon as possible. So, when is Syaoran due back? Won't he be worried about you?"

It's not like that. I just wanted to make mother happy and I didn't want Syaoran to get violent with me just because he couldn't watch over his mother when she got sick like this. He'd literally blame me for this. No, actually the first reason is the truth. The second one was just a meaningless reason. So stupid! I wish that rude and violent guy would never come back!

"Sakura, when will you start to live together with Syaoran?"

I was quite shocked at that question. I stopped feeding her porridge for a moment and sighed.

"Well, he's quite busy with his own business. I'm afraid that I'll just bug him more by asking him to stay with me."

"But it's a normal thing to stay with your fiancé! You'll get to know each other better!"

She was going to push me with this deal, so to make it quick and short I just needed to agree with what mother wanted.

"Fine, I'll ask him once he's settled down. I don't want to disturb his work."

"Okay, honey."

~*~

Today, I didn't feel like going to the office. The fact that I know Syaoran got back from his business trip yesterday, just keep pissing me off. I don't want to go there and see him! But if I don't go, I will leave my work behind. Oh, what a great dilemma!

Ah, Today I have that executive board meeting! Today will be a busy Monday as usual! I have to go in after all.

Since today is Monday, everywhere will be crowded. Even in the office, especially in front of the elevator. I just headed directly to the meeting room and there were already ten people sitting inside the meeting room, one of them was Yue.

"Morning Sakura!" He closed his book when he saw me walking towards him.

"Hi, good morning Yue. You're early!" I pulled a chair out and sit behind him.

"Well, I just don't want to be laughed at on Monday. It would be bad luck for the rest of the week!"

"Really? I've never heard that!" I stared at him in disbelief and set my bag below my chair.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, it's just me; I'm the one who's coining the phrase!"

Hearing his laugh, I couldn't stop myself from laughing and we both laughed in rhyme. Then I heard a ringing coming from my pocket.

"Ah sorry, I have a call."

"Don't worry, just take your time."

I pick up the phone. "Hello?"

"Sakura-san, its Lady Yelan, she's… Lady Yelan is…"

I was shocked to hear Wei in such a panic.

"What is it, Wei?"

"Lady Yelan is…"

"Calm down Wei! Where are you now? I don't know whose phone number this is?"

"I'm at the hospital. Matilda International Hospital! Lady Yelan, she's unconscious! Please come here as soon as possible Sakura-san!"

I trembled for a second. I couldn't even flip my phone closed. It seemed as if my strength was gone. This scene, I've never been through this before. Yes, when my mom passed away. I wasn't by her side. I can't even move my legs or turn to run. Even my mouth refused to say anything. All I could feel were tears brimming non-stop.

"Sakura, are you okay?"

"Yes… I'm sorry Yue, could you please tell everyone else that I can't attend this meeting. I have to go now, it's important. Please?"

"Yeah, I will tell them, just take care of yourself. You seem so pale all of sudden!"

"Thank you, Yue." I had no time to think about my sudden pale face, all I could think about was going to the hospital as fast as I could.

What is it now, mother? I don't really know what was going on before, but I can tell that it has something to do with Syaoran.

Please hang in there mother!

~*~

**Happy birthday to my betareader, Rapid-chan :)**

**

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What happen to Mrs. Li?

Will Sakura make it on time?

Does it have anything to do with Syaoran?

Hohohoho..

**Q**: Where is Tomoyo?

**A**: Don't worry her appearance will come very soon. She has a very important role :)

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_Banzai!! Chapter 4 is done._

_And I will submit it as soon as Rapid-chan done correcting it._

**Review :)**


	4. Shelter

**WARNING:**

**DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DARK/ABUSIVE THINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?! THIS IS SERIOUS!!**

**IT'S A COMPLETELY OOC FIC**!!! **AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO SOME KIND OF THING, THEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS FIC IMMIDIATELY**!!

**DON'T FLAME THIS STORY, GUYS. I'M JUST BORROWING CCS CHARACTERS NAME BUT IT ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY ITSELFS.**

**YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!**

**REAL LIFE IS CRUEL AND UNEXPECTED.

* * *

**

**Theme song: Corrinne May - Shelter**

**

* * *

**I met a dark blue haired guy dressed in a dark colored suit as I entered the room. Rimmed glasses accented the features of his solemn face. He sat quietly with his head looking to the ground and hand pressed on his forehead.

"Wei?" I hesitantly ask him, not sure of whom the person might be.

Then he lifted up his head and faced me. He looked at me up and down through those rimmed glasses as though he was sizing me up.

"Kinomoto Sakura? You are Kinomoto Sakura, are you not?" He stood up from his seat and slowly approached me.

"Yes I am. Where is Wei? And what happened to mother? Where is she? This is her room right?" I just can't seem to calm down. I felt so nervous all over. I've never felt like this before, trembling and nervous.

"Okay, calm down! You need to calm down. Come on, sit down here and I'll tell you the whole thing, the whole crazy thing!"

What thing? What's there to tell? I had no idea what he was talking about. Did his car hit mother? Did he accidentally poison in her food? I was so nervous!

"What now? What crazy thing are you talking about? What did you do to mother?" I asked him in a confused tone.

"Just calm down Sakura, I'm Eriol Hiragizawa and I'm your fiancés best friend. We were… err, together last night..." He let go of my shoulder and went back to his seat.

"Yesterday when he came back from his business trip, he told me to prepare a crazy wild party with some naughty girls. We threw just such a party last night. Complete with girls, alcohol, condoms and all manner of naughty things. We even invited our friends to come over and enjoy the girls. And like always, we ended up with one of the girls in our arms the next morning."

"The whole thing was perfect until Aunt Yelan arrived and was shocked to find the mess inside his penthouse. But the worst was when she checked on Syaoran and caught him having sex with some girl. The shock was too much and Aunty just couldn't take it. Most likely it was a heart attack and now she will need a very long rest in order to get well."

"What did you say? A PARTY, HOW? Just… how in the world you could do that? God, you men just lusting for yourselves and making other people suffer. Where is your brain? Do you guys ever feel ashamed with the fact that YOUR BRAIN lost against YOUR DICK?" I lost my patience and burst out in anger at the stranger with dark blue eyes in front of me. I could see him trying to catch my hand and stopping my anger from exploding into something unexpected.

"Sakura, listen there's nothing you can change about that now! Shouting at me will not change anything. Now Aunty needs to rest and don't you dare let her know that you lost your temper just because this thing happened. She won't be happy to see you messed up like this." He said and lowered my hand down. Now for the first time I could see his honest blue eyes behind his glasses. It was true; he was trying to make the conditions better for us. It would be bad if mother knew I'd lost my temper like that.

"I know, I lost my temper, I just got pissed off at the fact that my stupid fiancé could be so selfish and careless about his mother's condition." I almost felt a few tears because of his kindness. I knew that he was Syaoran's friend, but he really is kind and has those gentle eyes.

My heart was telling me that Syaoran was pushing him to have the party even though he didn't want to. He must have matured earlier than Syaoran. I wish my fiancé was not as childish as Syaoran was, even with that handsome face and his money. Still his mind and heart are nothing more than a baby. Spoiled and egoistical, he's a real pain in the ass!

"I envy Syaoran for having such a beautiful, smart and caring woman like you Sakura."

I blushed at his comment but tried not to show it to him. I knew he was trying to seduce me in a informal way, but I successfully avoid this flirty conversation.

"You don't have to envy anyone just for having a girl like me."

With that, I left him alone and entered the room where mother was being treated.

I was surprised to see mother unconscious in the bed. Her flawless white skin had become pale and I wondered what had made her so helpless. Then I saw Syaoran sitting on the chair beside mother's bed, his arms folded and glaring at me.

"What are you doing here so early?" He asked me with a very low voice.

"I want to see mother, that's all!" I answered in a sharp voice.

He stood up from where he was sitting and walked towards me. I kept a safe distance from him by stepping backwards.

"You're lucky; she's been calling out your name. She just wants YOU to be beside her! Not ME! What the fuck is that? I'm her son and she didn't even say my name! Damn it!"

"Don't curse here! I don't want you to make it any worse! It was all your crazy idea to begin with, to throw some crazy wild party with girls and end up having sex with her? You guys think you are so damn smart!" I shrieked in a very low volume so I wouldn't disturb mother and other patients in the other rooms.

He put his face close to mine, giving me that cold glare with his hazel eyes. I was afraid at first, but it's no use to get scared because of his dirty eyes.

"What is your problem? You took my mother away from me! I've always been her favorite son! Even in my own family, I was her priority and not my sisters. Now you're here being so damn polite and all to her, just to steal my mother away from me? You want her that bad? You want her to be your mother? I know you want her to replace your dead mother! But not this way! This is the worst!"

My dead mother, which was something that I just couldn't tolerate! I couldn't let him talk insolently about my family!

I held my breath, ready to burst in out in anger. "STOP ACTING SO CHILDISH! I don't want mother to hear us fighting like this! It will make her condition worst!"

"So what, this is the worst, and it's all because of you being my fucking fiancé. You've become close to mother, that's why it is happening!! Admit it!! Without you here, everything would be fine!"

I tried my best to hold back my tears. I felt anger all over my body and I just wanted to slap his face with my hand!

SLAP!

"STOP BEING CHILDISH, I NEVER WANTING YOU TO GET ENGAGED TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"BITCH, did you just slap me? Oh great, my dear fiancé dared to slap me! What makes you so high and mighty that you dare to do that? My mother would never ever touch me that way!"

"I will never say sorry for that! You deserved it!"

He suddenly grabbed my wrist and held it tightly, dragging me out of the room.

"Even if YOU were to say sorry, I would never accept it! You're not sorry; YOU HAVE TO PAY ME FOR THIS HORRIBLE MARK ON MY FACE!"

But I tried to fight back, struggling and trying to glue my foot on the floor so he couldn't drag me out. But he is stronger than I thought and he gradually managed to pull me out of the room.

"Stop, let me go! What are you doing?"

"I need you to SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"No! Let me go!!"

Eriol was surprised with what was happening between Syaoran and me. "Syaoran, where are you going? And what are you doing to Sakura? You're hurting her!" Eriol tried to save me; his hand was on Syaoran's shoulder trying to persuade him to stop being cruel to me.

Syaoran stopped and give him a death glare which froze Eriol so that he couldn't move any part of his body.

"Shut up, Eriol! What do you care? You don't know anything! Go home and fuck yourself!"

"Don't talk mean to Eriol, he's better than you at anything!"

"Tsk, you little bitch, you just can't shut the fuck up! You are so dead once we get home!" He punched me in the stomach until I couldn't stand. I coughed several times and felt limp. I couldn't talk back to him. The only strength left in my hands was just enough to hold my stomach in pain.

I could feel him lift my body so my stomach was on his shoulder and my face facing his back. My feet didn't touch the floor. I couldn't take the pain in my stomach and slowly I passed out.

~*~

Where am I? What is this place? I'm in the middle of a purple field.

Mom? Is that you mom?

"Mom? What are you doing here? Is this heaven?"

"Sakura, it's been a long time! How are you doing, my dear?"

"Mom, I've missed you a lot! It's been horrible lately... I..."

"Honey, I knew everything, even if you've never told me. It's all written on your small face."

"Mom…"

"How is your work? I've heard that you've were transferred to the main branch in Hong Kong?"

"Yes mom! It's harder than my previous job, but I'm getting there. Don't worry; I'll prove to everyone that I can do this!"

"Sakura, you don't have to prove anything to everyone. That just means you are being an egotist, and I know you won't be doing that, because you aren't that kind of person."

"But mom!"

"You know Sakura, you used to be a help to your friends when you were kids. You always offered to help anyone if they were in trouble. You always put your friends before yourself. I was very proud of you back then Sakura. I was proud of you that way, not the other way, being a workaholic with no friends and putting your work and professionalism before your kindness and honesty. I know your nature, and it's not that way."

"Mom, I know… it's all because..."

"Don't blame yourself Sakura; I know you can change this. You will become better. Help your fiancé to find the tenderness of love. He's not going to find that on his own and it's just the same for you."

"He's evil mom! He hurt me!"

"Is that why you want to hurt him back? As payback for what he's done too you?"

"Yes… NO! I mean, no… mom it's just… I..."

"Sakura, you can't use evil as your weapon to defeat his evilness. You have to use something in contrary. Like how you would use fire to defeat fire. It just makes it even worse. The fire will get bigger and blaze wildly."

Ah, I see now what I'm lacking. I can't keep things up. I have to surrender in order to win. Sometimes the loser is the actual winner and that's what I have to do with Syaoran.

Suddenly there was a fire surrounding us. The air wasn't fresh anymore and suddenly it became hot and stuffy. The purple field was now a scary place, like a burning land with no life. I had to escape from this. Why is this happening? Where did the fire come from?

"Sakura, I have to go. Remember, I will always looking out for you. I'm one of the stars in the sky. You are not alone honey." There were big white wings on her back and they carry her to the sky. I couldn't escape! I have to follow my mom, but I can't reach her! Help!

"Mom, don't leave me alone!! MOM!"

It's hot…

Something is hitting me below… and it's burning. It HURTS!!

What happen?

I could feel a hand grabbing my hip roughly. What is this feeling?

I slowly opened up my eyes and pressed my hand to the head. "…"

I looked at a big and slender body in front of me. What the hell was he doing? He was stripped and standing in front of me? Standing above my naked body?

"Wa... Wait... What are you doing?" I lifted my upper body so I could try to stop him from forcing himself on me.

"So are you awake now? It's too late honey; I broke your hymen already! I know that a virgin pussy tastes the best!" He said with a wide grin on his face.

Oh!

I could see a single blood stain on the bed sheet. I felt Goosebumps all over my body. I fought back by screaming and moving my body with all might.

"Ge... Get away from me!! Let me go!!"

His hands tightened around my hips and he forced his big thing inside mine. I shirked in pain but he kept his pace, not caring about the pain I felt.

"What didn't you enjoy your first time? You were enjoying yourself just now! You even moaned in delight when I kissed your lower lips, and when I nipped your ear. You were extremely hot and excited and even begging me for more. That's why I'm doing this!" I could see a devilish grin on his face. His hair was now messier that usual.

"You took advantage of me! I was unconscious for God sake! Let me go, Syaoran!"

"That's sweet, you calling out my name like that! Scream, Sakura! Scream more for me!"

He was going to rape me for real! Oh, my body was starting to response to his depravity. My body was starting to feel warm wherever he touched it. I had to stop this!

"No you sick bastard, let me go!"

"I won't! After all I'm your soon to be husband. Just admit it you've enjoy this just as much as I have! I'll fuck you until your pussy is sore!!"

"Let me GO! God damn, it hurts!"

I couldn't bare the pain inside me. It was like his big thing was tearing me apart. But he just kept pumping himself into me. Strange voices escaped from my mouth, against my will. I felt strange.

"SHUT UP! You deserve this! It's your entire fault that mother was hospitalized!"

"Please… let me… go." Tears starting to fall from my eyes from the pain caused by him! I couldn't stand it anymore!! It hurt like hell!

"It's your entire fault!! If you didn't let her come to my place, then she would have never ended up hospitalized!" He increase the pace, making me shrieking in pain.

"I... beg… you… Syaoran please let me go. You're hurting me…" It was true, it was hurting my insides. It was warm, but it hurt because he was so violent with me!

Then suddenly he stopped and glaring at me with a very cold eyes.

"Fine…" He let go of me and walked to the bathroom, closing the door. I heard a loud shower from inside the bathroom. "Now go away, before something bad happens again."

"What?" I got up from the bed with a blanket wrapped around me and I looking for my clothes. Then I saw Syaoran came out from the bathroom with towel around his hips.

"Get out of here! You're an eyesore!!" I was surprised when he shouted at me like that. I couldn't seem to understand what was inside his mind. I just quickly put my clothes on without caring about zipping it up, I ran away from his penthouse to my room, and locked it, afraid that Syaoran would come after me to beat me up again.

~*~

It has been a month and I didn't have time to call father. I wondered if father was busy with his work or maybe he believed that I could manage everything well here.

There is no way I would tell father about my being engaged to someone like Li Syaoran. Father always wanted me to get a boyfriend ever since I was like, twelve years old. But when I did have one, I couldn't seem to do the right thing. That boyfriend of mine kept bugging me to go out on a date, when I really wanted to do overtime at my part time job. He always wanted to go to the beach or on a picnic, and I really didn't have the time to go there. My part time job and my cram school are my priorities.

Father told me once, that I was being too serious in my young age and that it wasn't good for me. But I thought it was okay since I didn't really want to go out with my boyfriend. So I always put him after my work and study.

And now, being engaged to Syaoran Li was hell. Even thought it's been three days after that horrible thing he did to me, I still could feel his big thing in me. I have to admit, because of his violence towards me, I couldn't seem to concentrate on my work. Sometimes I only blankly stared at the computer for an hour, even though I had to submit a report an hour later. Or in the middle of some meeting I couldn't seem to concentrate on the subject, usually I would say some sharp words to make the meeting come alive, but nowadays I really couldn't do that.

The thought of Syaoran grinning in the middle of harassing me that night was always haunting me. I could feel his touch everywhere on my body, my below always ached like crazy if I started to think about it.

"Sakura, are you okay?" Rika asked right in front of my face.

We were in the middle of the cafeteria having lunch with Naoko and Chiharu as well.

"Eh?"

"You looked pale and dizzy! Maybe you should go home and take a rest." Chiharu said while her hand on my forehead.

"Thanks' but I'm fine, really." That was true. I didn't feel anything wrong with me, well maybe just a little dizzy but I really have so many reports and documents to do.

Chiharu suddenly dropped her spoon on the plate and it cracked loudly. "Im... Impossible!"

"What's impossible?" Rika staring at Chiharu in disbelieve.

"The director is heading in this direction!" Chiharu said and both Naoko and Rika turned their heads the same direction as Chiharu.

"No way Chi-chan, you're just excited about it! Maybe he just wanted to check around here, to see a chance for enlargement or renovation." Naoko looked nervous and stammered as she spoke.

"But look, he's smiling at me, again!" Chiharu said with a wide smile on her face. Rika sweat dropped.

"Chi-chan, don't look in his direction with that crazy fan-girl look. He'll cut your pay if you keep staring at him!!" Naoko was the only one to keep Chi-can in control.

"Oh yes!! I forget about that! I should keep my manners!!" she quickly straightened her back and smoothed her hair. She was now back to normal, but too normal.

I could see Naoko staring at me in disbelieve, she poked my hand three times. "Err… seriously, he's heading over here and he is now behind you Sakura."

"Eh?" I quickly turned around and I was quite surprised to see him standing behind me with a very fake charismatic smile.

"Excuse me, could you please let me borrow Sakura Kinomoto for a second?"

"Ah, Director Li, please take your time." Chiharu seemed to like Syaoran a lot. She has been staring at Syaoran all over. Geez, Chi-chan, you're married!

"Thank you."

Rika gestured to Naoko and Chi-chan to leave the table. Oh, I don't want to be left alone with Syaoran here.

"What do you want?" I ask him shortly.

"Mother wants us to see her together in her office now."

"Mother? Why not tell me herself?"

"Why not believe your fiancé? Should I take you there by force?"

I stepped back on his comment and walking towards Rika's direction.

"Girls, I'm sorry I have a sudden meeting with the board director. I'll see you later!"

"Oh, that can't be helped!" Chiharu looked disappointed to hear my information.

~*~

We were now standing side by side in front of the elevator. Once the elevator opened, he quickly got inside and held the door from closing. "Hurry, come in here!"

"You take the elevator?" I asked him from the outside of the elevator.

"Of course I do! Now hurry up, you're pissing me off!"

"I'll take the stairs." I quickly turned my back and headed towards the stairs, but Syaoran's hand stopping me from going anywhere. He held my wrist tightly and I couldn't move.

"What the fuck? YOU ARE GOING WITH THIS ELEVATOR!" He shouted at me loudly, hurting my ears as much as he was hurting my wrist.

"NO! I will take the stairs! And if you want me to take the elevator, then you have to take the stairs!" I pulled my hand back and put a dead glare on him.

"What the fuck is going on with you?" He said in disbelieve.

I'd rather take a thousand stairs than have to be in one elevator with him. Just thinking about it was making me sick.

"Fine, do as you like! I'm taking the elevator!"

I stomped my foot and took the stairs. Fifteen minutes later I reached the twentieth floor where mother's office was. I had to wipe the sweat from my forehead before going inside.

"You are LATE!!"

God, why do I have to see him here? Shouldn't he be inside mother's office? "And why are you here?" I finally asked, panting and wet with sweat.

"I'm waiting for you."

Waiting for me? He must be kidding me. There was no way he would act kindly towards me.

"Should I thank you for that?"

"No, I don't need your thanks what so ever. I was waiting here because if mother found out that we were not coming together, she'll start nagging at me like where is Sakura? And why didn't you wait for her? I know my mother; she would definitely ask me those stupid questions and will praise you to death instead! With this, I'll tell mother that you are the one who was late and not me!"

"How smart, just what I would expect from _young master_ Li!!"

"I don't need your compliments, it's all rubbish!"

He opened up the door and we entered the room. I could see mother sitting in her wheelchair.

"Mother, I'm sorry for taking so long. What would you like to talk to us about?"

"Quit that sugar Syaoran! You just want me to expect nice things from you, but nothing really comes out from you in the end. You disappoint me son!"

I was surprised at mother's words. Mother's face looked hard and angry. I believe that Syaoran had been here before me, looking at his hard face. It looked like they had a quite strong argument before calling me here.

"I know mother, I'm sorry."

"Correct your behavior! First, you threw a sex party and slept with another girl when you knew that you're already engaged. Second, you lost an almost billion dollar opportunity because of no preparation beforehand. You know how disappointed I was in you son?"

What? Syaoran lost a billion dollar contract? I couldn't believe it! He should know better how to prepare that sort of thing. He's an expert in dealing with contracts and money. He couldn't seem to explain why he'd lost it. He just kept saying sorry to mother and mother was being much too pushy about it. Maybe she should have listened to what Syaoran needed to say. But Syaoran seemed not to want to discuss it either.

"I'm sorry mother."

I looked at Syaoran in disbelieve. He keep saying sorry and not wanting to explain the whole thing to her. I knew he had a reason why he lost it; it's not only him to blame!

"Sakura, are you okay? You look dizzy and you're sweating a lot honey!"

"I'm just... nervous mother. Sorry for making you worry." I lied to mother I was more worried about the deal that Syaoran had lost.

"Syaoran, you should take a better care of her. She's your fiancée!"

"Yes, mother."

"Actually, I want you to move in together, into Syaoran's place. It would be better for both of you since both of you seem to have no interest in each other."

"Yes, mother,"

"I've asked my subordinate to move all your belongings to Syaoran's place and it should be finished by now. So tonight, you two have to act more like a couple. A real engaged couple. I'm willing to make your engagement official as soon as possible, to prevent Syaoran from doing anything reckless."

He just kept silent after hearing mother say those things. I felt so irritated with his quite attitude. This was not how a son should act towards his mother. This would lead mother to expect that Syaoran would always obey her orders.

"Sakura, please teach him how to become independent. He is so spoiled even though he's twenty four. However mentally, he's just seventeen!"

"No mother, he's not spoiled. He is so gentle to me. I believe that the night he threw that party was just a regrettable mistake. He was so tired back then. He just wanted a one night stand because I kept refusing to have sex with him. It's not all his fault, mother."

"That's so nice of you Sakura. Since you were the one betrayed, but still you stood up for him. Very good! Show some respect Syaoran, you should treasure her more! She's different from any cheap girl you used to date!"

I can see Syaoran staring at the wall beside his mother. I knew how frustrated it felt like when someone, especially your parents lectured you for something you really didn't want to talk about. I just had an urge to stop mother for lecturing Syaoran more.

"Mother, I think Syaoran has had enough of this. It will be hard for him if you don't give him a chance to explain what is on his mind! He probably has a good enough reason to do what he did back than!"

Mother just kept her mouth shut and so did Syaoran. He just kept focusing on one point and not caring to answer or listen to what mother had just said.

"I'm just doing my job as Syaoran's fiancé and I think you should listen to his explanation as well. I believe there is a reason behind his every decision."

"But it seems that he didn't have anything to explain to me. I always gave him time to explain everything, but he never did."

"Maybe he really didn't have an explanation this time, but next time I'll make sure that everything Syaoran does is caused by something. There is always a reason even, even if it's the bad one."

"Sakura, you are so gentle and mature! Syaoran, you should be grateful to have her as your fiancé!"

"Yes, mother!"

"You may leave, Syaoran! As for Sakura, I need to talk to you!"

"Yes, mother."

He walked in silence until he closed the door slowly behind him. I know he would not let mother see the evil side of him. He was a very good actor after all.

On the other hand, I kept thinking to myself about the things mother wanted to tell me.

Is it about my family?

I hoped that she just wanted to inform me about a development in my division.

I don't want mother to ask me some sick question about how my relation was going with Syaoran.

"Sakura, do you think I'm wrong? Am I doing poorly for a mother?"

"No, mother, it's just you're too hard on Syaoran. Don't order your own son without thinking about how it affects his feelings. It's no different than a relation between yourself and one of your servants. He has to obey everything you have said to make you happy, to make you think that he is a good kid. But behind that wall, he is suffering and needs to escape. No wonder he did something so unexpected! It was because he's just a human! He needs his own space, so that was his way of escaping."

"Oh, I can see your point clearly Sakura. I'm very proud of you. My kids never dared to scold me this way. Thank you, Sakura."

~*~

To be continued...

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How is it?

I hope you like this chapter. Now I'm working on the seventh chapter. Please support me by dropping a review :)

Love yaaaaaa :)

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**About the song:**

If you like watching Cartoon Kat-tun, I believe you'll know the song. Anyone?

I always watch this, when I got stuck with the story, hahaha :3

SHELTER, is a song about love, friendship, in short, it's beautiful. Anyway, I love to watch Cartoon Kat-tun, it's so funny and all the host are handsome (kakkoiiiii :3)!! You can download the video from J-One Record on LJ Community. Hehe...

Anyway, Rapid-chan said the next chapter will be done by tomorrow. I can't wait!!!!

See you!


	5. Catch Me

**WARNING:**

**DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DARK/ABUSIVE THINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?! THIS IS SERIOUS!!**

**IT'S A COMPLETELY OOC FIC**!!! **AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO SOME KIND OF THING, THEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS FIC IMMIDIATELY**!!

**DON'T FLAME THIS STORY, GUYS. I'M JUST BORROWING CCS CHARACTERS NAME BUT IT ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY ITSELFS.**

**YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!**

**REAL LIFE IS CRUEL AND UNEXPECTED.

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**

**Theme song : Demi Lovato – Catch Me

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**

It's been very cold lately. I have to wear multiple clothes before I put my coat and multiple socks before my boots. I arrive at the office with a very red nose every morning, and to be honest I'm not really good in the cold.

Tonight, according to the weather forecast on TV, there would be a heavy storm. That's why everyone in the office took an hour early to leave work because they were afraid they would not make it home. Trains, buses, and other public transportation would stop operating once it was officially announced that today there would be a storm heading this exact direction in exact hours.

"I'm home!! ATCHO!!" I took a box of tissue from the living room and used it to blow my nose. Yuck, I didn't realize that it turned out to be this bad. I guess I have flu.

I checked once again at the entrance door. There were only my shoes laying there. That mean, Syaoran wasn't home yet. Well, who cares?

Yes, it has been decided. Mother wanted me to move in and stay together with Syaoran, even if the engagement hadn't been officially announced yet. There are already many rumors spreading inside the company. Mother even tried to force me to wear my engagement ring. But I had to decline it since I couldn't afford to lose it. It's too expensive and I didn't want everyone to bug me about being engaged to whom? Or being engaged for how long? I'm just not into that sort of conversation.

Syaoran's place is a lot bigger and luxurious than mine. Too bad, he only has one bedroom and neither of us wanted to share it together. Syaoran's never been home at night. He always came home in the morning to take a bath and change his clothes, and that's it. He never talked to me, and I didn't even care to ask him why.

I turned the TV on and changed it to a news channel. Then I removed my coat and changed into a yellow shirt and pink trousers with ALL STAR printed right on the backside. I put my feet in my sleepers so they would be warm.

"I'm hungry." I mumbled quietly in front of the fridge. I was about to cook something for dinner and quite surprised to see that the fridge was full of vegetables, meat and fruits. When did I buy this stuff? I didn't even have time to go to the convenience store in this building. "Ah, it was probably mother." it's just a thought, but I'm pretty sure she is the one who stuffed the fridge.

I decided to make miso soup. Maybe it would be nice to eat it in front of TV. It's been a while since I ate Japanese food.

I took out the ingredients from the fridge and wear my flowery apron so it won't stain on my shirt. It took me only twenty minutes to prepare a large bowl, enough for the next three days.

I put the soup inside the magic jar, so it would last for at least three days and keep it warm and fresh. I poured it into a small bowl and brought it to the living room. "Itadakimasu!" I started to slurp it slowly. It was hot, but it warmed me up. It was delicious; I thought about show it to my sister Feimei. She will probably love it.

I pick up the remote beside me and change the channel until I stop on one channel that caught my attention. It was Tomoyo Daidoudji on the screen! She was wearing a very cute oversized rainbow tent dress featuring giant balloon sleeves and pleating on the front and back. It had a square collar with cute little button closures, chic pockets on the hip. She wore it with black tights and ankle booties.

She was gorgeous!!

"I'm going to launch a fashion magazine very soon. I hope I complete it next year. I'm currently looking for publisher, a studio and such things. I know it will take a lot of effort, but it's so fun!"

Ah, that's why she asked me to be her model back then. I love her fashions and maybe I'll drop by her shop again next time.

A minute later I had turned off the TV and was done washing all the dishes. That's when I heard a loud bell ringing from the entrance door. It's weird. Syaoran has his own key and he never bothered to come home at night. It's true; I always ended up being alone the whole night. He will come the next day when I'm about to go to the office. So, who was it now?

I washed my hand and ran to the door and opened it. What a surprised to see Eriol standing in front of me. Syaoran had a woman with a blonde and curled hair on one arm and Eriol was carrying Syaoran's other arm.

"Ye... Yes? May I help you?"

"Sakura, I'm surprised to see you are here!" Eriol was surprised to see me inside his friend's house.

"Yeah, mother wants me to move in… so..."

"Look, Sakura, don't be mad at Syaoran, okay?! It's been a bad day for him. So, today he went to the bar to have a drink with me and he told me about the deal he had lost. And about aunty… and today, maybe he got a little bit drunk. Usually he can handle liquor and such, but today that seems to be another case. In short, he's really drunk." Eriol described the long story in short with just one breath.

Then the girl, who I believe had been staring at me up and down from the beginning asked, "I thought Syaoran was single? He never told me that he had a girl living at his house."

"Don't ask me, Liz! And quit complaining! It's getting late, we should hurry or we will end up trapped in the storm." Eriol was quite furious at this girl who appeared to be named Liz.

"Okay, okay," she said, finally surrendering.

"Eriol please let me carry him. It must be tough for both of you to carry him up to here, but thank you so much for making sure Syaoran got home." I put one of his arms across my back and started to carry him. Jeez, he's heavy!

"You're welcome, Sakura! Come on Liz, we should hurry before the storm gets even worst!"

"Ah, you're right! We should hurry!" she said, checking her watch. "Please take care of Syaoran!" she added just before she caught up with Eriol to the elevator.

"God, you reek of alcohol! And you are heavier then I though!" I used all my might to bring him inside. That was until I tripped and fell to the floor, landing on Syaoran's chest.

With him below me, of course he hit his head and I heard him groaning in pain. "Ugh, what is this?" he rubbed his head and looked annoyed with what had happened. Shoot, he'll beat me up again this time.

I hurriedly moved off of his chest and stood up in front of him. "Y… you were drunk!"

"No, I'm not! I'm just a bit dizzy." he got up lazily and groaning loudly.

"You're reek of alcohol! You are drunk!" I said, following behind him.

"I said I'm not! Just shut up!" he glared at me and dropped himself onto the couch.

"Where have you been? You always come home the next morning. Imagine if mother knew about that?"

"Mother will never know unless you tell her."

"Do you want me to tell her?"

"Don't piss me off, you bitch!"

With a death glare he grabbed my wrist roughly, and pulled me to the bedroom. He threw me onto the bed and locked the door. He turned off the light switch beside the door so it was now pitch-dark in the room.

_Oh, no, he was going to hurt me again! Not now, not again!_

"Don't you dare try to escape now!" he said while slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

"No, Syaoran you are drunk! Don't hurt me, please!" I tried to escape from the large bed. But there seemed to be no way out.

"Oh, don't worry it's not going to hurt." Suddenly his naked body was above me. He grabbed both my wrists and held them beside my ears. He locked his eyes on mine. His hazel eyes are pretty and clear as usual. I always loved that color. But the way he looked at me, it was just so dirty. It's like he's undressing me with his eyes. Please stop it!

I closed my eyes tightly, so I can't see those killer eyes on him. Then there was a long pause between us. Silent and darkness are killing me, suffocating me, taking away all the air I needed to breath.

"Why are you crying?" he asked me against his heavy breath. I didn't even realize that I was crying! I was too scared that he would hurt me again. I'm too scared that I will remember it forever, adding to the already painful memories caused by him. It'll only make me hate him even more. But I didn't want to. "Because I'm afraid of you, I'm afraid that you'll hurt me again. It really hurts to be treated like that!" I answered him in a shaky voice.

He released my hands and threw his body down beside me. He put his arms on the forehead, so I couldn't see his face clearly. The only parts that were visible were his mouth and nose. I could hear him sigh heavily and his body was trembling all of sudden. A second later I could hear him sobbing quietly.

"Hey, are you okay? What happened?" I turned to face him and drew myself closer to him.

"It's all because of you!" he said in the same position, not moving. "If only mother never brought you here. If only you never existed. If only you weren't working for us… I'd never be this way."

"I never wanted to be here in the first place." I replied, sarcastically.

"Mother has never seen the bad side of me. Mother will never compare my work with yours. Mother would have never been hospitalized for such stupid reason. I would still be her only one dearest son. I would have never lost that important deal! It's all because YOU are here!!"

Seeing him weak and crying back and forth, just like a boy who had lost his favorite toy. I couldn't stop the urge to hug him.

It's true. I hugged him with his head on my chest. I couldn't believe it myself.

"Stop it. I don't need your pity!" he tried to escape, but not really trying. I could see the fact that he needed a shoulder to cry on, and ears to listen his problems. But there was no one to do that for him. That's why even though he said he didn't need my pity; he didn't really put much effort into escaping from my arms.

"I'm not, I just, kind of understand you a little bit." After hearing that, Syaoran moved closer to me and snuggled his head on my chest. I fixed my position so he could relax on me even more. I stroked his short and messy chestnut hair slowly with my right hand, and stroked his bare back soothingly with my other one.

His lean and strong body is now become frigid. I could feel his stiff arms now relaxing a bit. My clothes were now wet from his tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I heard him mumble behind his sobs.

"It's okay, nothing's wrong with you and everything will be okay, just calm down for now." I talked to him in a very low voice. In his hair I smell the pungent smell of cigarette smoke. But I'm not backing off; I keep inhaling his smell and felt him become heavy. He was sleeping already. Maybe the alcohol was strong so it made him sleepy.

I slowly moved his head from my chest, but he snuggled even more when I tried to move him away.

I sighed in despair. There was no use struggling against a heavy yet strong man like Syaoran. It was best to just let it be, like this was how I wanted to help him.

I couldn't seem to close my eyes and now I was thinking… why was I being nice to Syaoran? Why did I hug him so tight like this if I hate him? Why should I ease his problems and try to calm him down? I just don't get it. It's not like me at all. Am I wrong to act this way?

_You should help your fiancé._

Mom's words from last time hit me really hard this time. It made me realize that I should do this. Nothing was wrong with me, hugging Syaoran in _our _bed. There was nothing wrong with me trying to ease _my fiancé's _pain. This was normal for someone in love! Am I?

"I… love..."

Impossible! It was hard to believe that I felt that way. It has to be a mistake. Yeah, a mistake.

~*~

I woke up next morning and found myself still in his arms. But his position now made it easier to escape from his hug. I slowly got up from bed and tried to walk in a very slow pace so I would not wake him up.

I successfully got out from the room and now I have to go work. I had so many things to do! We have to catch up with things before Christmas. So it has been hard work lately, battling with work and the race with the time. I shouldn't let time eat my life away and lost the race against it.

After what it seemed like forever for woman to take a bath, get dressed and put make up on her face, I thought about having some of the miso soup I made yesterday for breakfast.

It was when I checked on the bedroom and saw Syaoran is still not sober. I didn't know when I started to care for him. I took a post-it note from my bag and quickly wrote a note on it.

_I put warm miso-soup in the magic jar._

_I hope you eat it, even though it's not a Chinese dish._

_And I hope you'll get better after you eat the soup._

_-Sakura-_

I prepared a bowl and spoon and put it on the table and stuck the note to it. I hoped he would notice it as soon as he woke up.

~*~

I jammed five folders into my hand. It was quite heavy but I could manage it just fine. It was just when I'm in front of the elevator a guy with silver hair pushed the down button just before I pushed it. Thank goodness, I couldn't let this heavy document fall from my hand. Maybe he knew it will be hard for me to do it at the same time.

"Sakura, long time no see! Where are you going?"

Oh, it was Yue!! He was just as tidy as usual. His grey eyes looked at a pile of documents on my hand.

"I'm going downstairs to report some documents. Where are you going?"

"Me too, let's go there together then." he took half of the folder and carried it just as if it was very light. "Let me help you with this."

"Well, okay, thanks!"

"So, how are things going? I haven't seen you since the general meeting other day. I really wanted to ask you what was actually going on." he asked once we're inside the elevator. It's just the two of us.

"No, it was, err... my mother was sick and had to be hospitalized." It was true; mother was the one who was hospitalized. But she was not my _actual_ mother.

"Hospitalized? Where?" he asked sounding quite worried.

"Matilda International." I doubt he knew about mother's accident. Mother told me she won't let just anyone to know about it.

"Wow, what a coincidence! Then, did you know that our head director, Mrs. Li was hospitalized there around the same day that you left the meeting room?"

I was shocked by his comment. Well, information sure was spreading fast. But I had to cover it. Syaoran would be very angry if I exposed even just a little bit. Moreover, it was caused by an embarrassing accident.

"No, I had no idea that Mrs. Li was there. Did you visit her?"

"Yes, the day after. And she said, it was because she's been so tired lately and hasn't eaten properly."

"That's too bad. I wish I could have visited her, but she's okay now right? I saw her couple of days ago and she's just fine."

"Yeah, she's completely recovered."

"That's good to hear." I sighed in happiness when he spoke the last words. Meaning, it all concluded, no more fake conversation about mother and such.

_Let's move on to the right subject._

Surprisingly, he starts it first. Damn. "Sakura, are you by any chance close to Director Syaoran Li?"

"Close, as in work related? Yes, I've been under his care for several projects. He's a magnificent director. I'm amazed!" I couldn't help but to put a fake smile on my face. Yes, it was a project, a real pain in the ass.

"I heard he's engaged to one of our workers here."

I stopped and turned my face to look at his eyes, my eyes bulged out widely! It seemed as though they would pop out of my head!

"H… ha ha ha ha! I want to hear all about that, but I have no time to listen to gossip. I really am curious and want to know more. Tell me more about it, I'm interested."

"You see, Mr. Li is independent. He doesn't care much about girls and relationships. But when I got back here, I heard from one of my co-workers that Mr. Li is now engaged to a young Japanese lady. I wondered if maybe she's comes from a royal family in Japan. But no one seems to be sure about that. That's why it's become a mysterious gossip among us. It remains secret and no one dared to confirm it."

"Wow, that's interesting! I'll catch up with this later on. I have to go this way anyway."

"Oh, okay! I'll tell you the details if I hear more about them." He gave me the folder he had been holding carefully. "Let's have a meal again like last time, okay?" he smiled at me and waved his hand freely.

"Okay, thanks'!"

I felt like there was someone staring at me and it gave me a sudden chill down my back. I turned my head to the left, then right, then behind me, but nothing was there. No one is there.

"It must be just a feeling," I whispered to myself and walked inside the room to hand in the documents.

~*~

I parked my car in the usual spot under a not yet blooming cherry blossom tree and met Steffy on my way to the elevator. I greeted her with my usual friendly smile. I looked into my bag, searching for my key. Once I got the key, the elevator stopped right at the chosen floor.

"I'm home!"

I went to the kitchen and was surprised to see a note where I had put the soup on the table this morning. It was written with a red pen just below my hand writing.

_Thx._

It was just three letters that made my heart burn with happiness. What was this feeling?

The bowl was empty with a seaweed stain on it. I guess he liked it. I was so happy. Eek, wait! Why am I so happy because of _this_ stuff?

I hurriedly checked on the fridge, "Oh, maybe I'll cook chicken katsu for dinner." And leave some for Syaoran to try. I hoped he would love it. Hey, wait! What am I thinking?! But anyway, let him try my hand made food was just a usual thing. It has nothing to do with liking him what so ever.

"There was no garlic powder here." I searched the entire cabinet but couldn't find it. Maybe the convenient store would have some.

"I'll just take a walk then."

I put on sandals but still wore my work suit minus the jacket. I left it with my bag on the dining table. Fifteen minutes later I was carrying a bag with not just garlic powder, but I'd also bought lettuce, celery, also enough red and green peppers. I was humming quietly on my way back home.

It was when I set my foot in front of the door; there is a storm inside my head whether to walk inside or not. The door was unlocked and slightly open! I was suspicious so I decided to hold stop rather than just burst inside.

"Ugh kiss me… I want you!" Is what I heard coming from inside the room. My hand was shaking like crazy and even my heart was beating fast. What was going on inside my house?

"Hey, not there!" I heard. _Again_ it was a woman's voice moaning in delight. It made me so nervous. What was going on inside? But I couldn't seem to be brave enough to enter the house.

All right!!

I took a deep breath, and reached for the door knob and pushed it violently so it will surprise whoever was inside the house.

What… is… this?

There were clothes everywhere, woman clothes, a bra, panties, stockings, and a hand bag thrown half way to the couch. This led me to a vision where Syaoran and a very familiar looking woman were in the middle of having sex. That woman was the one I'd met yesterday, blonde curly hair, white skin, big breasts and a small face. I could see her details clearly because she had no clothes on her body. She was completely naked. And there he was, Syaoran, above her, still wearing his trousers but with his shirt unbuttoned, and his belt detached on the floor.

He was holding one of her breasts and his mouth was on its way down to her stomach. His other hand was caressing her thighs. There she was, moaning in delight, calling out Syaoran's name.

What else can be concluded after seeing these kinds of images? It was so obvious.

It was horrible. I couldn't think about anything rational anymore. I felt my throat tightening, I was not going to cry, and it's not that I wanted to anyway. I just felt completely upset with what was going on in front of me.

I dropped the heavy paper bag that I had carried for a quite long time. It crashed to the ground, and its contents scattered out of the bag.

"What… are you doing?" I said, looking at both of them in disbelieve.

_Why are you doing this in our house? Do you want to dirty this place even more?_

"You're back, I didn't notice." he said, getting up from above her and buttoning his shirt.

"Who is she?" I asked him trying to look him in the eyes. But he kept on refusing me.

"Oh, she's my friend. Liz." He said in a very low voice. He busily searched something in the kitchen.

"Hi, I'm Liz Kwok. It's nice to meet you. And thank you for taking a good care of Xiao Lang while I'm not with him."

"Don't you dare thank me! Put your clothes on! You should know how to keep your pride as a woman! Do you have no shame?" I shouted at her, furious.

"Oh, your fiancé seems to be an old fashioned lady. She's no match for you," she said and starting to put her clothes on one by one. First is her bra, then her panties.

"GET OUT OF HERE!!" I finally let the frustrated side of me to blurt out.

"Hey, calm down, you told me earlier to put my clothes on didn't you?" she said calmly, now putting her stockings on.

"You have five seconds to put all of your clothes back on, or I will call the security guard to drag you out of this room with no clothes!"

"Wow, it must be hell for you, Syaoran, to leave together with this kind of woman. I'm scared." she said, mockingly, eyeing Syaoran in naughty way.

"Yeah, I know, it would be better if my fiancé were you, Liz." He said it while pouring himself a glass of beer.

That's it! I'd had enough!

"Fine, then just get married to her. It's not that I want you badly! You can talk about it or make out till you drop anywhere but here. Okay?! If you don't get out of this room NOW, I'll call security! I mean it! I don't care if it will be the headline in all newspapers tomorrow! NOW GET OUT!" I shouted at her, pointing my finger out to the door. Showing her that this was _our_ house, and that mean it was mine as well, so my rules applied here.

"Jeez, I get it old hag!"

She walked, approaching Syaoran and kissed him quickly but passionately enough to make him kiss her back. Then she finally left. I closed the door so roughly that some of the picture frames I put on the wall were shaking slowly.

"Care to explain?" I asked, try to catch my breath. My heart was thumping quickly making my breathing unstable. I was so mad because of nothing.

"What?"

"That whore, and the whole making out thing, why does it have to take place be here? I don't care if you sleep with whoever you want, but do it at a hotel and not here."

"This is my house. I have a right to invite my friends to come over."

"Don't forget that this is my house as well. And you can't just invite your friends who have no manners and without my permission!" I said angrily, kicking my foot on the ground.

"You were the one who started this! You showed me earlier what manners are! I saw you today with that silver haired guy. I saw you flirt with him! Oh, what? You're in love with him? Is he your boyfriend?"

I tried to recall what had happening earlier in the office.

"It should be me asking you the 'care to explain?' question!" he said, walking over to the couch and sitting down. "It's not fair that you broke the rules, not me."

Now I knew. It was today when Yue helped me carry that heavy folder. But why do I have to explain that to him? It was just… he was just trying to help me! That's nothing to get pissed about!

"What should I explain? Yue was helping me carry that heavy folder to printing division downstairs. There was no flirting and all! You were the one who broke the rules! You can check with security, they have those security cameras all over the building."

He stopped drinking and placed the glass on the coffee table. I could see him trying to process what I'd just said.

"If that's the case then it can't be helped." He threw his hand on the back of his head and looked up at the ceiling.

"What do you mean?"

Like trying to avoid my question, he get up from the couch and approached me with a grin. "Ah, anyway I'll stay here for tonight. Eriol has something going on with his girlfriend so I can't stay at his place."

"Do as you like. It's your house." I mumbled in a very small voice.

But then, I could feel a cold chill run through my spine when I heard him whisper "Then, I'll have it my way, Sa-ku-ra." In my ear and walked all the way to the bedroom and closed the door slowly.

Wh… what the hell was that? That attitude!

Despite of how tired I was, that night, I couldn't seem to fall asleep, just knowing that Syaoran was in this house, inside the bedroom. I had to force myself to sleep on the dirty couch and that's the reason why I can't shut my eyes or even pretending to be asleep. The whole image of how Syaoran was touching and KISSING that girl was just unbearable. I couldn't get it out of my mind.

Bothered, to force myself to sleep, I get up from the couch to the kitchen. I decided to make a hot coffee so I can stay up late to do some work, rather than forcing my eyes to shut, why not divert it to something useful.

I turned on my laptop and put it on the dining table. I took out some paper from a folder I'd left at home and began analyzing the data. It took me an hour to finish one document, but I was satisfied with my work. Maybe I could leave the office early tomorrow and take a rest.

I sipped on a bit of coffee that I'd made earlier when my vision started getting blurry. It was not that I was getting sleepy, but maybe my body was getting tired and needed a rest. But I was not in the mood to go sleep. I needed to work on that report.

Then I heard someone open the door and approach me, hugging me from behind to be exact. I was surprised and turned my head to see who the person was.

"Sy... Syaoran, what are you doing?"

"Sheesh... quiet... I just can't sleep. And knowing you are here I just want to make sure that you weren't going anywhere."

He wrapped me with a soft thin blanket, and hugging me warmly. I could hear him breathing in and out because his face was very close to mine. My heart was beating so fast and I couldn't stop myself from blushing hard. I could feel his cheeks touching mine. With just a glance, I could see his sharp nose and long eyelashes, oh-so-beautiful. Wait, what am I thinking? Stop adoring him.

Do I adore him?

No way!

But…

Why is he being so kind to me? Was it possible that he's hiding something from me? His kindness most of all?

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked, with him still holding me from behind. He seemed to be enjoying himself, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Why? I just don't want you to get sick because you were staying up late." he answered with his eyes closed.

"Oh." I gulped once, and with just a bit of courage left, I added, "After what you did just now?"

"Come on, Sakura, don't start with the fight." he held both sides of my shoulders and turned me to face him. Then he looked into my eyes. I couldn't even try to resist the magnet from his clear and beautiful hazel eyes. "I'm trying to make it up to you, okay? Just maybe, even if it's hard for you, give me a chance. Please." he added, now, with a pleading look in his brownish orbs that I-definitely-couldn't resist.

"Um, well it's not worth fighting anyway I'm just tired of it, I think I've had enough."

Then I saw his white teeth, smiling perfectly. His face was so close to mine, he tried to pull me, to maybe kiss me! But I was mistaken, what a shame. He just touched his nose to mine. Oh, those dirty thoughts of mine! He was so close that I thought he would kiss me softly right on my lips.

"Thank you." he said, his thumbs rubbing my cheeks slowly. Then he got up. "Anyway, Sakura, I feel hungry. Errr… do you think you can cook something for us? I know you haven't eaten dinner."

He called me 'Sakura' in a very casual way, one that made my heart fluttered for a bit. Usually he just call me bitch or whore, and of course 'Sakura' when he put up his act with mother.

"Ah, ye... Yes I haven't had my dinner yet. Um, what do you want to eat? Is something Japanese okay?" I answered, a bit nervous. Why was my heart beating so fast at a time like this?

"Mmm, yeah, that soup that you made yesterday was tasty. I really loved it. Thanks'."

"Okay, err... I need time to prepare some ingredients. You can watch TV while I'm preparing."

"No, I… err… if it's not bothering you, I want to help with the cooking," he asked me shyly and I could see his ears were turned pink because of it.

"S… Sure..." I gave him two packages of raw chicken meat and told him to open them.

I brought some vegetables and other ingredients needed to the kitchen and starting with cleaning and then chopping them into a fine, edible size. Syaoran was surprised when he learned that cooking was not that easy. He couldn't chop the vegetables into an edible size, the pieces were too big. We were laughing together when we realized it was so big.

Cooking together with Syaoran was something that I'll never ever forget. I know it's too soon to declare my feelings but I think I'm starting to fall for him. I didn't know what this feeling was, but I felt so warm all over, like I want to keep this feeling for a long time. I hated to admit it, but a very small part of my heart hoped that he would return my feelings, by maybe treating me in _more_ friendly way.

Oh, no! God, it's turning bad!

I was starting to hope. It's not like me to hope for something impossible, something I knew I could never reach with my bachelor degree experience.

Tell me mom, is it really okay for me to love someone who I'm very sure will never love me back? Is it really all right for me to think that every gesture he makes towards me is to show me that he loves me? Is it really okay for me to think he will treasure me forever in his heart?

Now I'm trying, little by little, discovering everything about him. How he tried his best to clearly crack the egg, how clumsy his hand was holding the knife and cutting the meat. How hard he tried to clean the vegetables on the sink, how scared he was to even turn on the stove. How he offered himself to help tie up my hair so it won't get dirty.

Please stop all of this, if you don't mean it. Before I fall for you even more, I don't want to be the one to get hurt. I couldn't set my hopes to high, because I didn't know what would happen next. What if he turned out to be a bad guy after all? What if he tried to hurt me again? There were so many questions in my head and I needed answers.

Before it was too late Syaoran, please, hurt me severely now so that I'll hate you with both my heart and my body. So I'll hate you even more and never think about having you to be only mine.

~*~

**How is it? I hope you like it :)**

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Let's talk about……………………………………………..

**::**This chapter theme song is from Demi Lovato!! I loooove her so much :) and all her song of course :) I love her song "Get Back", from the previous album. How about you?

**::**Tell me which part is sucks from this chapter? (but I hope there is nothing sucks from this chapter) :p

**::**I found one funny picture (well, for me it's funny) of Sakura and Tomoyo in their _very rare_ costume. You really need to check this out. Lol. I really want to know what do you think about two pretty lady in the picture ;)

i191 . photobucket . com / albums / z67 / cachantik / moe99411sample . jpg

(don't forget to put **http://** before the link and erase the gap between them)

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My deepest gratitude for **a****ll my beloved readers & reviewers** :) Without you guys this fiction will be nothing more than just a MS Word file.

Thanks to **Rapid-chan**, my best beta ever :)

See you on chapter 6!!

_**Keep reviewing :)**_


	6. 4 In The Morning

**WARNING:**

**DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DARK/ABUSIVE THINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?! THIS IS SERIOUS!!**

**IT'S A COMPLETELY OOC FIC**!!! **AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO SOME KIND OF THING, THEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS FIC IMMIDIATELY**!!

**DON'T FLAME THIS STORY, GUYS. I'M JUST BORROWING CCS CHARACTERS NAME BUT IT ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY ITSELFS.**

**YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!**

**REAL LIFE IS CRUEL AND UNEXPECTED.**

**

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Theme Song : Gwen Stefani - 4 In The Morning**

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It's nearly four in the evening and since I was done with my work, I relaxed for a bit to browse the internet, Google, MSN and Yahoo. I tried to read the interesting headlines and there is one thing I couldn't ignore after reading a bunch of boring headlines. It was a headline about Syaoran in one of local newspapers.

_**Syaoran Li and Sierra Bernetta Faustine against a Parents Influence. **_

There was a picture of Syaoran and a brunette haired young woman walking hand in hand in a place similar to the shopping district in Hong Kong. I curiously looked up more details and I found some pictures and more information about it.

"_The daughter of SAMS CORP Sierra Bernetta Faustine is getting serious about her relationship with the only heir of SONYC CORP, Syaoran Li. It was discovered when we accidently found out about identical rings on their fingers._

_As always, they never wanted to give the mass media any details. They always said that they were just colleagues and knew each other pretty well because they went to the same university. Gossip that they have been going out for almost five years is being denied by both of them without any clear reason. Syaoran Li has used violence to stop the press from asking him details about their relationship. _

"_Our friendship has nothing to do with our parents. We can befriend whoever we want to. Isn't that just common sense?" Both reported the same thing when we tried to interview them in two different places._

_Some responsible sources said that they have to keep their relation hidden, aka Backstreet from their parents. This was because both of their parents are hostile against each other. Michael Faustine, the owner of SAMS CORP, as well as Sierra's father had announced to the press that he was currently preparing for his daughter's engagement ceremony. The candidate is the son of Armenian Prime Minister, Jarret Deandre Jr. _

_Michael Faustine hoped that they can hold the engagement party in their hometown of Finnish by the end of February next year."_

I typed Sierra Bernetta Faustine in the search column and found that there were hundreds of pictures of her in many occasions, parties, auctions, fundraising dinner, and campaign association along with talk show appearances on TV. There were many more. Oh, she is so lovely, as expected from high class society. He looked so lovely with Syaoran. If only I could switch with her just for just one day. I wanted to know how it felt like to have my hand held by someone like Syaoran.

Eh?

Stop it!

What was I thinking? I didn't deserve Syaoran at all. I was supposed to help him, not fall for him! God!

I kept nagging at myself while adoring Sierra's presence. Her long brunette hair the heart shaped face, small nose, long and curly eye lashes, the well-shaped eye brows, full lips and high cheekbones. So lovely, no wonder Syaoran had fallen for her. She deserved Syaoran. They deserved each other.

I heard my mobile phone ringing, knowing that it was an unknown number; I really was in no mood to pick it up. But since it kept ringing I decided to pick it up.

"Hello, Sakura speaking."

"Hey, Sakura, how are you? It's me, Feimei!"

"Ah, Sister Feimei, yeah, I'm good! How are you?"

"I'm good. Sakura, listen, mother wants you to come here."

"Here… Where's here?"

"To the Li mansion of course!"

"Oh, well, yes, errr.. I don't have much to do anyway. So, I'll just drop by after I'm done with my work. Okay?"

"Great!! I'll be waiting Sakura!"

"See you."

With high level of curiosity left in my head, I still decided to close the internet window and shut the computer down. The images of Syaoran and Sierra together are still visible inside my head.

~*~

"Sakura!"

"Sister Feimei!"

"Sakura, I'm glad you come here. I've been so lonely in this damn big haunted house!" She hugged me tightly for a second then looked at me showing her warm smile and said. "Can you sleep over here tonight with me?"

"Err… I really want to, but I'm afraid that Syaoran won't let me." I said, without any intention of turning down her nice offer.

"Jeez, that boy! Don't worry, I will ask him. Ah, don't tell me, that you two are so close already that he won't let you go anywhere without with him."

"Ah, I… it's not like that, Sis." I knew my face is getting red by now. She's was straight forward just like usual.

"Why? Isn't it normal for an engaged couple to become close?"

"Err... yes. But you… see, I..." Then I remembered I didn't see mother at all on my way here. "Sis, where is mother?"

"Mother? You don't know? She's staying at our summer house near the beach outside town."

"But you said earlier that mother want to see me?"

"That's the prank, Sakura... I knew you wouldn't come unless it's mother order… Sorry I have to put a small trick..." she stuck out her tongue a little and winked her eye at me.

"Feimei-nee-chaaaan!" I cried, playfully mad at her.

"Sorry, sorry. Now, give me your phone and I'll call him to ask for permission."

I finally gave her my phone and she started to dial his number as soon as the phone was in her hand.

Two seconds.

Ten seconds.

Twenty five seconds.

Fifty seconds.

"Sakura, doesn't he pick up your phone calls? Or is it that his phone has been switched off permanently?" she asked, much annoyed by Syaoran's not picking up the other line.

"Um, I'm not sure. I think he may be busy with his work. Just let him be I don't want to bother him."

"Sakura!" suddenly her eyes are twinkling, like the ones in an anime. "You so understand. Don't tell me that you're very deep in love with Syaoran?" Now she gave me a suspicious look.

"It's not really like that, isn't it obvious for every girl to become head over heels with Syaoran? He's so perfect. Even now I have no confidence to stand beside him."

"Sakura," she mumbled in a very low voice seeming to understanding my sorrow. But then she pushed me hard on my back, "Well, if that's the case then let's have a girl's night out today! It's Friday night and the shopping districts are open for the next 24 hours!"

Looking at her so excited like this, I couldn't say no to her. Even if I was tired, I'd definitely go with her. It had been a long time since I had a girl's night out on Friday night. "Um, okay, I'll go with you then."

~*~

We'd been around the mall for almost an hour. Feimei was a super shopaholic and she knew about nice shoes, beautiful make up and cute dress, and all without caring about the cost. I just spent my money on a cup of ice lemon tea because I was so freaking tired of follow her pace and decided to sit and drink while she was out hunting for _more_ shoes.

Once we passed through a purple painted boutique I walked backward and decided to ask Feimei-nee chan to come inside with me. I believed it must be Madison Lady Boutique.

"FUWWAAAAA, you have such a high class tastes to come here Sakura."

"Eh? Why? Isn't this just another clothes shop?"

"Eeek! You don't know? Madison Lady was always sponsoring for those Hollywood actresses who show up for red carpet events. In short, it's international and high class."

"I didn't know that. I just felt like I owed the shop owner an answer whether I would help her by being her model or not. The clothes I wore when I first met Syaoran were from here as well."

"A model for Madison Lady? Sakura, you'd better not deny it, no wonder you looked so dazzling that time. Well, I also want to look inside."

I walked to the dress section and immediately fell for a satin tube top formal cocktail dress. Pickups with a flower broach side waistline and a hidden zipper back with and matching shawl.

As I busily checked the dress, a white pale hand took it from the hanger and gave it to me, "It will definitely match you Sakura Kinomoto." She giggled with her mouth closed. "Or should I call you Mrs. Li?"

I was taken aback with her sudden overly friendly attitude.

"Ah, Ms. Daidoudji, you've mistaken me for someone else. Probably, yeah it must be."

"Fufufufu, I believe I'm not mistaken. Because Lady Yelan told me herself that her son would soon need a wedding planner. She gave me many details, so I could easily figure out who the lucky bride-to-be was."

"Ah, well... err..."

"She told me, that your clothes from the other day fit you very much. I knew she'll love it."

"Yeah, thank's for... That day... you... err, saved me..."

"So, how is it? I think I haven't closed my offer yet." She asked, winking her eyes on me.

"Um, about that... I actually want to try it, its fun to learn new experience, anyway."

"So, do you want to join me?"

"Huh, not yet! I just… maybe in my spare time, I already have a job."

"I know, and I really understand your situation. And thank you so much for considering my offer! I'm happy to hear it directly from you."

"Um, is it really okay, I mean, with someone like me?"

"Oh GOD, YOU are perfect! Look at yourself! Your body! Your face! There are no defects at all! You have a slender body, small hips, flat stomach, long legs, and white skin. You are perfect, perfect to be my model!" I could see a lot of enthusiasm in her starry eyes.

"Well, okay just call me if you need me. I'll adjust my schedule for you then."

"Thank you, Sakura! Ah, by the way, want to try this one? I know you will like it as much as I do. This is my best item for this week! I made it just one, and by my own hand."

"Wow, this must be expensive!!"

"Not really, but anyway, for you I'll give you a special discount."

"Okay, I'll take it."

"Thank you!"

I paid the amount of HKD 9,800 for the dress. Feimei nee-chan bought a pair of cute gloves for another HKD 950, and that was it. I think I spent too much though.

"Sakura, are you hungry? Would you like to eat?"

"Yeah, I really am tired. I want to sit and relax."

"Okay, let's find a restaurant then."

"Let me pick."

"Fine, pick whatever looks delicious."

While I busily looking for restaurant along the shopping district, I accidentally noticed that Syaoran's car, a Mercedes-Benz SLK R 171. I was pretty sure it was Syaoran's, because all of his cars have identical license plate numbers.

Feimei didn't notice about it. I doubt she will, because at the moment she was on the phone, perhaps with her boyfriend. She was just walking beside me, giggling and laughing the entire time.

My heart was now beating so fast, it was like a sign that there was something wrong with whatever I'd see next. But I kept my strict professional look, hiding the nervousness in me. I tried to control my heart beat by taking a very deep breath.

Then, I had a vision of Syaoran. It must be true! I believed it was Syaoran, entering a Dim Sum restaurant.

Oh, this is bad. My heart is unstable and beating so fast. I have to stop it otherwise my face will look red and nervous.

"Sis Feimei, I want to eat here." I poked her shoulder and she smiled at me.

"Wow, Sakura, I really want to eat Chinese as well!" She hugged me in between her shopping bags. "Um Sakura, may I ask why are you sweating all of sudden? Your face is so pale, are you not feeling well?"

"Maybe I'm a bit tired. Don't worry, I can relax while eating." I said while opening the restaurant door.

A young man approaching us and showed us an empty place for two. While I nervously checked on Syaoran's table.

There he was! Sitting there alone with his hand supporting his chin, he looked so bored there. Maybe he had a business appointment with his partner.

Since I'd found the one perfect table do that I could get a perfect angle to see Syaoran, I decided to sit there, "Sorry, but I want to sit here. May I?"

"Sure, please sit down here. And here is the menu." He handed us two booklet menus and stood beside our table to write down our orders.

From here, I could see him clearly. He checked his watch three times in the last minute. Maybe the other partner was running late? He'll surely be in a bad mood once he gets home tonight.

My heart beat was now becoming stable and I started to order. I ordered shrimp dumpling, cheong fun, and hot tea.

"I'll have a tofu skin roll and hot tea. Thank's." Nee-chan finally decided her order.

"The food will be served in five minutes. Thank you." said the waiter before leaving. Then I heard nee-chan taking a very deep breath.

"I'm so sorry Sakura, to have made you accompany me all the way here."

"Nah, it's okay, I wanted to have some fun as well."

"Um, by the way, when will you and Syaoran get married? Oh, I can't wait to have you as my sister!"

"Nee-chan, I am already your sister!"

"Oh, ha ha ha, that's good to hear! Ne… ne... Sakura."

Feimei nee-chan couldn't seem to calm down. She kept babbling about my wedding, the dress, the food, she event wanted to make the wedding cake herself. All the while I was concentrating on the other object, Syaoran.

A minute later our food arrived at the table. I couldn't wait to try my favorite dumpling, and nee-chan seemed to be pretty excited as well.

"Itadakimasu!" I accidentally said in Japanese.

"Sakura, you spoke Japanese!" She shrieked in surprise.

"Oops, yeah it's a habit of mine, sorry." I said while putting a dumpling into my mouth, and chewing it slowly.

"It's okay, I want to learn some more. How about 'good night'?" she said in between her giggles.

"Oyasuminasai."

She giggled some more, now with food inside her mouth, "How about 'good morning'?"

"ohayō gozai masu."

I could no longer concentrate on answering Feimei-nee chan questions. I saw a beautiful young lady in a lovely dress made out of black acetate. Aviscose blend material, trimmed with a cream silk contrast at the bust, and lined in a black silk satin. The design features tuxedo styling with a ruffle trimmed halter neckline, pin tucked bib, faceted black button front, and a bow detail at the waist, and a short mini-length cut with a double layer of ruffles at the hem. In short, dazzling!

"Ah, that's hard for me to say it!! How do you say 'brother'?" asked nee-chan, still curious.

"Eh, uh, err… onii-chan."

Before she sat in front of Syaoran, she got a very warm hug from Syaoran, and he even kissed her on lips.

"Oh, Sakura, that's cute! By the way I know how to say 'sister' in Japanese. It's nee-chan, right?"

"Yep, that's correct!"

He even pulled out the chair for her, and sweetly allowed her to sit there. Oh, now I can see her face quite clear.

"It's because you always call me with nee-chan after my name."

"Ha ha ha, sorry that's a habit as well." I faked my laugh to hide my nervousness.

I could feel my heart beating faster this time. Was I jealous? Impossible! But why in the world was I so nervous and uncomfortable all of sudden?

"How about 'I love you'?"

When I realized who the woman in front of him was, I couldn't help but be shocked. My eyes grew bigger like they were about to come out. It felt like my stomach was full with nothing but shock.

"Ai… shi...teru..."

CRACK!

I accidentally dropped my chopsticks to the plate as I saw a vision of Syaoran holding her hand lovingly.

It was Sierra Bernetta Faustine! I was sure it was her!

So, the rumors were true. I could see how his eyes staring deeply and lovingly into her eyes. I couldn't get my sight off of them. I looked at their lovely images, unconsciously forgetting that there are other person in this place a part of me, Syaoran, and Sierra.

"Ra..? Sakura, Are you okay? You were spacing out."

"..Ah, so... sorry nee-chan... I just..."

"What are you looking at?"

I quickly looked at my plate in front of me; hoping that nee-chan didn't notice what I've been looking at. "N... no, it's just, I…" but I guess it was too late.

Feimei nee-chan turned her head around to see what I'd been looking at.

"Tsk, that little bastard! They've started to see each other again? How dare him!"

"Feimei nee-chan, you… you know about them?"

"Yeah, I do!"

"But she's a young and fine lady. Moreover, she's from that kind of society. You didn't like them? She's better for Syaoran."

"Listen Sakura, I'm sorry for keeping this crap hidden from you, and I'm so sorry to be the one who is telling you this. I knew Syaoran will never let you know about this."

"What happen?"

"Actually, Syaoran and Sierra had been going out for more than five years. It was mother fault to send Syaoran to a business university in the U.K and he accidentally bumped into Sierra. Mother's intention was to make Syaoran a powerful business leader, able to beat the other opponents. Mother wanted him to hate their opponents even more so she sent him to where Sierra was studying. They were furious at first and I didn't know when it started to change into love. I could see the fact that he was still in love with her. It's not that we are against her. I have to admit that Sierra is a very kind yet beautiful girl. She's a goddess.

But her parent is the problem. Our parents are hostile towards each other because we are rivals in business world. At that time, father fiercely forbid Syaoran to see that girl. But Syaoran didn't care and one day they came together to ask father for his blessing but instead of receiving fathers blessings, they both got expelled from the house. That was when father had his heart attack.

Syaoran was annoyed with father and decided to run away together with Sierra. We didn't know where they were staying at. And when we finally contacted him, father was already gone."

"Sorry to interrupt, nee-chan. Actually, I've heard this story once from Wei. It was similar at some point but he said that Syaoran was together with an older woman, and not Sierra. Syaoran's father gave the woman a sum of money in order for her to stay away from Syaoran, and she did. After that, Syaoran broke down and decided to never believe in love again."

"Sakura that was a rumor that we have to spread all over the world, we couldn't tell anyone about Sierra's status. Her father was the owner of SAMS CORP and it would be a shame if we told the press that Syaoran, the only heir for SONYC CORP was willing to leave his family for the sake of woman he loved, Sierra Bernetta Faustine-the daughter of SAMS CORP founder.

"That's why we've desperately searched for a typical girl like Sierra to get engaged to Syaoran. Actually, Sierra herself is already engaged to the son of Armenian Prime Minister, Jarret Deandre Jr. But things never go that easily. Sierra and Syaoran are in love with each other. We, as his family can do nothing but try distracting him from Sierra even more."

I could feel my mouth hanging open for some seconds. I tried to digest all nee-chan had explained in one gulp.

_Mom, so this is what you meant for me to help him, to help Syaoran and Sierra oppose their own families?_

_Telling their families that nothing was wrong with them both falling in love with each other?_

"I thought their relation is over. And I thought Syaoran was already in love with you Sakura, sorry."

"No, I don't mind at all. It's not that I agree to marry him anyway. I made a promise with mother to turn him into a fine gentleman, that's all. As long as I can stop him from being a jerk, then it's fine. And to be honest, Syaoran has already raped me. It was the day after mother's accident. But now I understand why he acted that way. He was just frustrated, maybe he felt horrible after what he did to me that night, and knowing his nature, it's not easy for him to just apologize after what he did."

"Oh that bastard boy, I'm so sorry Sakura. I knew he was rude, but please don't leave him. Don't hate him. I don't want him to suffer from loving Sierra even more. That's why you should try to attract his attention."

"I've decided already. I'll help Syaoran."

"Help Syaoran with what?"

"I'll help him reunite again with Sierra. It's not like I love him anyway."

"Sakura… don't lie to me, I can see that you are slowly falling for him. I can tell by that look on your face every time you say his name. That look is the look of one who has fallen in love."

"But, nee chan, I can't do anything about it. They're in love with each other, for me to love Syaoran would just be an obstacle and I don't want to be the one."

I couldn't bear my feeling anymore. Yes, I'm curious about them but I couldn't hold in my sadness every time they were giggling together. Every time Syaoran held her hand. Those images were too much for me to bear. Syaoran looked so happy and I never saw him that way.

What is this feeling? Am I jealous over Sierra? No!! I can't think about it!

"Sakura, come on. Let's just go home. I'll send you home. You'll probably end up with tears all over your face, seeing him like that."

"Ah yeah..."

Sis Feimei had an understanding nature that relaxed me a bit. She took care of everything from there. She paid the bill, brought the shopping bags, and even drove me home. For me, I couldn't even think about what I was going to do when I got home.

"Sakura, don't look so sad! You're strong okay! Just beat him up once when he gets home!"

"Ah, I'm sorry for being like this." I said as I released my seatbelt. "I knew it must have been a pain to bring me along as companion. I'm sorry I can't sleepover at your place, maybe next time. I promise."

"Okay, that's fine. Just take care of yourself. You look dizzy."

"Yeah. Thanks sis. I'll see you later."

I waved good bye to her and went straight to my room. It was pretty late already so there was not a single person hanging out around the condo.

I opened up my door and saw nothing on the shoe rack. Meaning, Syaoran was not home.

I walked to the window. I could see that Hong Kong was beautiful at night. Oh so beautiful, but I'm all alone here enjoying nothing but pain. I felt a sudden emotion, a sudden pain, a sudden demand.

I need him. I want him to be here, with me, and not with the other girl. But what can I say? I'm not worth anything from Syaoran. I don't deserve him.

I felt tears on my cheek as I leaning against the glass wall and slumped myself to the floor. I covered my face with both of my hands and sobbed.

"Syao...ran..."

I couldn't help myself from crying. It hurt to know that the one you love is in love with someone else. It was my entire fault! Why should I fall for him after what he did to me?

Deep inside my heart, I wanted him to give his everything to me, because I already had given him everything that I had. It was painful to realize that he couldn't return my feelings. It hurt!

Now I realized why I was acting this way, because I wanted to feel true love. I wouldn't give Syaoran to anyone else no matter the cost. I didn't want to lose the love that I've just found.

But how would I do that? Sierra was the one he loved and not me. Maybe his kindness was just a play thing for him, to release his stress.

I didn't want to fall too deep. I didn't want to suffer because of these feelings. I'm not that weak! I should stand up and change my direction before it's too late.

I sat on the couch and stared at the blank LCD TV in front of me, my thoughts had flown to somewhere else. Thinking about Syaoran, what is he doing by now, in nearly two in the morning. I didn't realize that I've been staring at the LCD for almost five hours.

I'm tired of crying the whole night. I could feel my eyes hurting swollen because of too many tears spilled out. I knew exactly that it was no use for me to cry like this. Being such a baby I knew it well, but I couldn't help myself. If I knew that falling in love was going be this painful, I'd choose not to be the one. But since I couldn't stop these feelings anymore...

I suddenly remember what mother said to me, that love is not meant to have him as a whole. Love is to see the one I love happy even though he loves someone else. The most important thing is for him to be happy forever. That's love.

It's now four in the morning and I realize the tears are still pouring down my cheeks.

~*~

I know its Saturday. And as I expected, Syaoran didn't come home last night. I decided to call Eriol Hiragizawa. He's the only person I knew better than his other friends. He gave me his phone number last time and I thought it was worth a try so I dialed his number.

"Ah, sorry this is Sakura, do you by any chance, know where Syaoran is? Err… no, I just needed to talk to him. Oh, did he? Oh, okay, so in the office it is. Yeah, it's out of reach, Hmm, okay, thanks. See you."

With a brave and gracefully heart I stomped out from my house to the parking lot. Then I sped up to the office.

KNOCK!  
KNOCK!

"Syaoran, can I come in? This is Sakura.."

"Okay, come in."

As I entered the room I could see him sitting at the office desk busily checking up on a binder in his hand. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his hair and his shirt were messier than usual.

"Sakura, what a surprise, I'm sorry I couldn't come home last night, work can't wait."

"I know." Yeah, I know that you are lying. I knew you were together with her all night.

He stood up and approached me, throwing the stuff in his hand onto the desk.

"You look so tired. Look at those black circles under your eyes and your eyes are red." His face was so close to mine. I could feel his cold fingers tracing under my eyes, causing me to scowl. "Could it be that you were waiting for me the whole night?"

"It's not like that. I just, couldn't reach you by phone. So..."

"Oh, that's it. Yeah, it ran out of charge. Weak battery I guess, yeah..." He tried to look away from me. I knew that when people tell lies, they won't look you in the eye. Syaoran was no different.

"So, you were staying up late for work?" I asked, knowing the exact answer already.

"Yeah, I was working the whole night. You see, there are some people from Russia who want to deal with me on Tuesday so I need to prepare. Ah, anyway, what brings you here?" he was trying to avoid my eyes and that lead me to another unrelated conversation.

"No… err, I mean yeah, I need to talk to you seriously."

"Why so serious? Why not casual?" he said, caressing my face. His nose almost touched mine.

He tried to pin me to the wall, pushing his lean body against mine. "Syaoran, not here..."

"But I want you... right here, right now." He said while kissing my neck.

Oh no, my body starting to act weird. "Please, Syaoran… quit this nonsense already; I know what you're up to."

"What?" he finally released me and turned his back, putting a little distance between us. "I don't know what you mean? Why do you always reject me every time I've tried to hug you and to love you."

"Love?" I smirked at him, "Are you sure?"

"God damn it Sakura, I've been trying my best not to hurt you lately. But if you keep on being such a bitch." he loosen up his tie and pinned me to the wall _again_, "I'll have to use violence."

"Sierra." I said loud enough to make him stop. "Sierra Bernetta Faustine."

"What are you talking about?"

"Quit it Syaoran! That will never work on me. I saw you yesterday and I heard about you and Sierra from Sis Feimei. But I want to hear it directly from you. So, care to explain?" I tried my best not to look _too_ angry, but maybe I failed.

"Humph." he sighed loudly and threw himself on the chair. "Where do you want me to start?"

"I knew you just used me to keep your relationship stable."

"Is that all?"

"Yeah, that's all I know." I took a deep breath and gathered all the courage in me to say, "And since you were head over heels in love with her, I... decided to help."

"Help?" I can see the wrinkle on his forehead.

"Yeah, as long as you can cooperate with me, put a little bit acts here and there. And that's it. You can have your way with Sierra."

"What are you saying? You know, Sierra is..."

"Look at me, Syaoran! Look at me!!" I screamed in front of his face. Then he looked into my eyes, those hazel eyes of his.

"Yeah, now what?" he said, a bit annoyed.

"Tell me you don't know that girl!"

"Err... well it's not that I didn't know her. We were once friends. Good friends, she was my classmate. I knew her and we were good. Yeah, it was like that, um..."

"You are blushing, Syaoran! You can't lie!" I put on a devilish smirk.

"Fine, fine this is not what I wanted. I didn't want it to be this way, but since you have discovered our relationship, I'd better tell you the whole _actual_ story. First, I'm sorry I was being rude when we met for the first time. At that time I was really pissed with Sierra because she couldn't decline her father's order to marry that Armenian fellow. I couldn't hold back my anger, annoyed at your calm figure. Sheesh, I messed up a lot. And the worst thing was she's now fallen for that prick and wants to break up with me. Now, if you _really_ want to help me, please tell me what can you do to help me out?"

I could see a glimpse of sadness in his eyes. "I'm helpless…" he said in a shaky voice.

Without thinking twice, I hugged him tightly with his head on my stomach. I stroked his chestnut hair slowly and he gradually hugged me back, embracing me on my hip.

"Sakura, I'm sorry for being such a rude jerk, I know you won't be able to forgive me."

"Sssh its okay… everyone has their own weakness. It was me who didn't understand you at first. I'm sorry."

God, I beg you to leave us like this for a moment. I wanted Syaoran to hug me longer. Is it okay?

I didn't know if I should be grateful or not for this, to be the one to see Syaoran's sadness, to be the one who will sooth his back and to be the one to cheer him up. To be the one to see his weakness, God, should I be grateful for this?

As I dissolved in my own thoughts, I kept on hugging him enjoying the warmth he gave me. I secretly kissed his messy chestnut hair, inhaling the masculine smell on it.

"I can comfortably tell you about her, I never told a single person about my relationship with Sierra, even mother or my sisters. They all know nothing about me and Sierra. They didn't understand-they didn't want to understand about us, that's why when they pushed me on something I definitely against it. But for you, Sakura, being my partner, I can tell you all of my secrets without any single distrust. It's because I know, you are immune to me. You don't hate me, but you don't love me either. That's why I can comfortably tell you the whole thing. Thank you, Sakura," he took a deep breath before saying; "You are my best friend."

Ugh

It hurts.

It hurts a lot.

It hurt a lot when he said friend while looking me deep with his hazel eyes, it's like I wanted to kiss his eyes all of sudden. But I have to stop these feeling. Because he will never love me in a way he loved Sierra. The one he loves is Sierra and not me, Sakura. Stop your feelings for him, before it's too late!

~*~

To be continued…

Please Review :)

* * *

**-HIATUS-**

**13/2/2010**

To all my beloved reader :)

Hi,

I'm here to announce something important regarding my status. Well, **I'm going hiatus** :( as from today 13/2/2010.

As you can see, I still am lacking of knowledge about writing a fanfiction, and the most of all I do have a hard time to deal with some reviewers. They are some reviews I consider giving me a destructive review but maybe actually it's a constructive one. I realize one important thing, all I need was a review.. **a hundred review** to gather much confidence so I can continue on writing. I admit that all I expected was a good review, so that's why (after talking to one of my favorite author about this issue) I feel very offended when I got one review with very sharp words on it.

I'm a newbie, but I'm trying. **I want to learn**, that's the thing :) so I won't stop writing just to let you know.

So maybe I'll take a break for a while. I need to think and learn from my mistakes. I hope I'll be able to write the next chapter in a very short future.

I do have a very nice time here with you all my loyal readers. Thank you for your time reading this :)

HAPPY VALENTINE ALL :)


	7. I Will Be

**WARNING:**

**DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DARK/ABUSIVE THINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?! THIS IS SERIOUS!!**

**IT'S A COMPLETELY OOC FIC**!!! **AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO SOME KIND OF THING, THEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS FIC IMMIDIATELY**!!

**DON'T FLAME THIS STORY, GUYS. I'M JUST BORROWING CCS CHARACTERS NAME BUT IT ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY ITSELFS.**

**YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!

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**Theme Song : Avril Lavigne – I Will Be**

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Syaoran send me home after the conversation that morning. Along the way home, he had been telling me about how good Sierra is, how kind Sierra is, how beautiful Sierra is, he even show me her picture on his mobile phone.

I have to admit. Yes, she is good. Yes, she is kind. Yes, she is beautiful. And yes, it's so obvious that Syaoran is in love with Sierra.

Syaoran told me that Sierra is the same age as me-older than me by several month (and it doesn't make any sense), that her hair was straight when she's in university and curl it after graduation, that she loves food that Syaoran hates the most, that she is a good racer, that she loves animals, and even he tells me about how they shared their first date. It was beautiful and all, holding hands, hugging tightly to each other. But he never laid a hand on her. Because he treasures Sierra so much, he won't even let his touch would broke her into pieces. Sierra should be grateful to be loved by a man like Syaoran.

Me, on the other hand, was been treated badly by him. Took my first kiss away from me in a very violent way, took my first making love experience with me being unconscious, treated me like trash, like I don't belong here, belong to no one.

I could never ever have the love that Syaoran gave to Sierra. Moreover, I don't even deserve his love, but I want it. I want Syaoran to love me; I don't want Syaoran to treat me rude.

Am I being a victim of love? I am the one who want him to love me, even after a hell of violent things he did to me. I've never felt this way before. I really want to go back to where I used to be. No love and no confused feeling. Nothing to makes my heart beat so fast like this. It's just not me.

I've never been in confused situation. I never care about how other people feel about me. All I care was about me-doing a great job and receive my salary on time. I don't want to be confused by love, boyfriend, friendship, and all bullshit in the world.

Now I have a fiancé like Syaoran. Him being a totally rude jerk at first, I don't know how in the world it changed me into liking that totally rude jerk. It was sudden, when he treated the other girl nicely, when he touch other girl other than me, I don't want him to be that way. And before I even realize it, I already fall for him.

"Anyway, are you going for Christmas party on Saturday?" Syaoran asked me while he closed the entrance door.

I look at him confusedly while opening the fridge to find something to drink. "Um… which Christmas party?"

I actually never spent Christmas with people other than my family. Never in my school life did people ask me to join their party. I'm just a nerd after all. They never saw me as friend; they always see me as if I was a ghost and never existed.

I only exist, when it comes to home work, class assignment, in other word, I only exist for being their trash. They wanted me to take responsibility, because they couldn't give one.

I was quite proud back then, to be the one who is responsible. Teacher always praise me for that, and I'm happy. So I never complained to the others. That way, I can ask teacher about how to increase my school grades and become smarter. It's a benefit on my behalf, they just never noticed it. Thank goodness.

"It's an open invitation for fundraising. One of our national TV station is hosting the party. So, we have to come. It's a must thing. Red carpets, movie stars, singers, socialite, and all famous people are invited including us, the Li's. We have to make appearance or we lose the deal. "

"Well, um.. I'm not one of them, and I'm not good with society things… so… maybe I'll just stay at home and…"

"Let's just go. That way, you can meet Sierra. She'll definitely come. She always wants to meet you in person..."

_Oh, so it was all about Sierra. Well, thank you for turning down my mood, Syaoran._

"Well, I'll think about it…" I said in between sigh.

"Jeez, just go, Sakura!! It's just a casual Christmas-gathering party. You'll meet my very best friend there…"

"Eriol?" I asked him, demanding correction.

"Yeah, but Eriol is just one of them. I have a lot of friends, and they are of course a good looking man. You should go Sakura or you'll miss the chance to get to know a very good gentleman."

"Thank you, but I'm not interested." I answered without facing him. I just keep walking to the bedroom.

"Come on, Sakura…" he tap my shoulder and turn me to face him. "Please… you should at least come to meet Sierra. She'll be there, and she wants to see you. You'll love her!!" he gave me a puppy eyes. Oh, I can't ignore it!!

"Fine, I'll go… satisfied?" I finally said, a bit annoyed removing his hand on my shoulder.

"Hey-hey, stop right there…" he tried to catch me but failed, "What's with that sudden bad mood?"

"Tired..." I said in short as I entered our bed room and stop right when Syaoran followed me." And please, for today... lend this room to me… I… need a rest... okay?"

"Hmm.. well, it's okay.. I can take the couch anyway... just make sure you have plenty of rest, okay? You look rather unwell."

"Thanks." Yeah, for nothing.

I tried so hard to show him my very best smile before closing the door. Maybe he thought my smile was weird but I don't care.

I just want to hug my pillow and burry my face on it.

~*~

I don't know why I open up my eyes so sudden. Ah, it's still six in the evening and I'm still wearing my office wear. Long shirt and skirt, I didn't even take off my stocking. I was so tired that I just slept here all of sudden.

CRACK!

There was a loud cracking sound while I'm changing my skirt into short pants. I just burst out from the room to where the sound came from.

I believe it was from the kitchen. And there he was, Syaoran still with her office wear on and green apron, standing in front of the stove, the kitchen table was so messy with oil, floor, egg, and bowl. Oh, this is bad.

"Syaoran? What are you doing?"

"Ah, you're awake? How is your feeling?" he asked me casually with a wide grin on his face.

"I'm fine, but… hey! What are you doing with this stuff?" I show him the spatula inside a glass full of milk.

"I'm so sorry for the mess. I'm going to clean it. I promise, don't worry... just, WHOAAA!" he accidentally spill some oil to the pan but he quickly catch it and completing the rest of the words he want to say, "Take a rest."

"Oh NO, Syaoran are you okay?"

"Yes, I am!! Don't worry. I'll be just fine. Jeez, I just want to help you getting better. I don't know why you are being moody all of sudden. So I decided to make you better by cooking some Japanese dish. And it looks like I failed, idiot!"

"Syaoran, no, you don't have to. I was just tired you don't have to worry about me."

"I'm sorry I know I just make it even worst. I'm not helping at all. Jeez, so useless. I should ask Feimei to teach me how to cook in the first place."

"Well, if you don't mind I want to be the one then. Come on, let's do it together."

"Really, you aren't mad?"

"Why should I? Look at your face, you are so uncool." I said while cleaning the oil on his hand with a towel.

Then he looks at me in the eyes with a smile on his face. His face look so funny, because of floor and other thing got stuck on his face. Then, I can't help myself from laughing out loud. Then without knowing, we both burst out into laugh.

"Anyway, what are you going to cook?" I asked Syaoran while I'm putting an apron on me.

"Errr what is it, miso soup and chicken katsu just like last time. I thought it would make you feel better. I also checked on internet, that's why there is laptop beside the stove."

"JESUS!! You shouldn't put it there. It's dangerous." I hurriedly move the laptop to the dining table.

"It's easier that way." he said with serious face. He's been beating the eggs with that kind of face. It's just so funny.

Me on the other hand, I was cleaning the mess on the table and the floor.

"So, Sakura you really won't come to that Christmas gathering?"

"Hmm," I rolled my eyes, pretending to think hard but actually didn't. "Well, I don't have anything to do anyway. So maybe I'll just go and meet Sierra."

"Great!! Thank you, Sakura!!" he suddenly hugged me tightly, and spun me around.

"Hey, hey, let me down. I'll fall hey… ha ha ha ha hey, don't do that Syaoran!" I tried to struggle, but actually don't mind if he keep doing that to me, and instead of pushing him away from me, I started to gradually hug him tightly so he won't go away from me.

"Don't leave me..." I unwittingly whisper those words to his ears.

"What?" he let go of me and staring at my eyes with questioned look.

Realized that I said something I must not said, I cross my hand on my mouth. "A... No... Nothing..."

"I thought you said something."

"No, it must be your imagination. I didn't say anything except giggle. Nah, come, let's start cooking since I'm done with cleaning the mess." I lied, and quickly change the conversation so he will not notice about embarrassing thing I said earlier.

Well, being this way with him is fine. I shouldn't ask for more. And there is no way I will tell him about my feeling. I have to hide it. I can't bluntly tell him about this feeling, or he will hate me forever.

It's okay. Just like this. He was being nice to me, near me, not going anywhere telling me about this and that rather than his rude side; when he kissed me, when he hugged me like the last time. It's not something I want. What's the benefit of having a violent kiss, is there any meaning to have your first time experience taken by someone who are just pissed of something else, I was−no more than−a bitch! And there is no way I would be happy to be treated that way.

I'm a girl. Of course it's normal for me to feel this way isn't it?

And because I'm a girl, I also want to feel love. Loved by the one I love the most.

~*~

Christmas is just a night away. It's going to be a white Christmas, because the snow is starting to pour down the town and I can see couple hand in hand walking through the shopping district.

Syaoran is very busy with his work. He rarely comes home, and sleeps in the office instead, but now he has better attitude. He always tell me about why he won't come home, he has a reason and I just keep on accepting his permission because I know, this way, Syaoran will openly tell me about everything, and feel at ease with me.

That evening, I planned to go looking for dress. I have no idea what should I wear for tomorrow party. But since I'm too lazy, and tired because of work, I ended up sitting alone in front of a coffee shop.

It was a round table and chair with a shade standing open from the centre of the table. It was so cold today, and I need something warm.

"Excuse me for being a smartass, but I think you need something warm." a sweet voice come from a pretty woman with high ponytail as I turned my back.

"Ah, Tomoyo, you surprised me!!"

"I was here for thirty minutes, and decided to approach you when I'm sure you are not waiting for some special one. Fu fu fu fu."

"Ha ha ha, no I'm not waiting for anyone. I'm just a bit tired when I'm looking for a dress. Syaoran want me to come to Christmas party tomorrow and I don't know what to wear."

"Will you let me help?" she asked, pulling the chair out from under the table and fetch her butt on the chair.

"Help?"

"Yeah, I mean – I can help to find the most suitable dress for you."

"Oh thank you so much, Tomoyo. But are you okay with this?" I just want to make sure that it's really okay for a totally stranger like me to get close to the 'famous' Tomoyo Daidoudji.

"Don't worry, you just need to sit and relax. I'll bring you to my chamber of secret. How's that sound to you?" she asked me with twilight on her eyes.

"A chamber of secrets? Sounds like Harry Potter, but do you really mind me to come with you? Is it really okay?"

"Come on, Sakura. It's more than okay for you to come to my room. You can do whatever you like, whatever you want I'll make it possible."

"Fine, okay, let's go. But first, I want to buy a cup of hot tea inside. My hands are getting cold."

"Okay, I'll wait here."

I leave Tomoyo outside and hurriedly enter the café to order a Grande size of hot tea. I don't want to make her wait too long.

And while I'm waiting for my order to come, someone poke me on the shoulder. I turned to my back and surprised to see Yue was there.

"Evening, Sakura!"

"Yue what a coincidence. Good evening. What bring you here?"

"I thought there were two angels chatting outside so I decided to spy on them. Since I knew well one of the angels, I decided to tail her up to here. That's it. I'm here for nothing but beautiful angels in front of me... and... Maybe a cup of hot cappuccino will help me, because I feel numb all over my body."

"Ha ha ha ha, it's not like you at all, being too flirtatious all of sudden, way to go, Yue. Maybe my _young lady_ friend over there will gladly accept your sweet line."

"Great!! I'll be very happy if you can introduce me to that beauty."

"Okay, come." After I get my hot tea and Yue with his hot cappuccino, I escort him to the table outside where Tomoyo sit and introduce him to Tomoyo. Maybe they'll be a good friend, which was what I thought.

I walk right before him to show the direction to Tomoyo's place. Once we were there, Tomoyo staring dumbfounded at us.

"Tomoyo, sorry it took me so long because I met my friend, inside the café." Yue show his very gentle smile towards Tomoyo, and I can see Tomoyo blush slightly as I introduce them to each other. "Tomoyo, Yue. Yue, Tomoyo."

When they both shake their hand to each other, I can see electricity flowing from each other body. Hmm, this is interesting.

"Tomoyo is a fashion designer. She owns a boutique around here. She's a celeb." I can't stop myself from grinning towards Tomoyo's-red as tomato-face. "And Yue is my senior. He's previously in charge of my position in Sonyc Corp, but now he's in charge of Sales Department. He's a good guy, believe me. He always helps me at work no matter how busy he was."

"No, Sakura, don't say that. Seriously, it's a pleasure for me to know a fine young lady like Ms. Tomoyo."

"Thank you, err, Yue I... oh-geez, I don't know what to say. I'm embarrassed."

"Ha ha ha Tomoyo, you're so red. Listen, Yue wants to get to know you in person, right Yue?" I intentionally pushed him on his rib with my elbow.

"Yeah, of course I would definitely love to get to know more about Ms. Tomoyo." Then he brought his wallet and gave Tomoyo a business card. "Here is my business card. You can call me if you like. Maybe I can give you some advice about sales plan and such."

"Th.. thank you so much. I don't have my business card for today. Here, I'll just write it on the napkin.. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course, you can do anything as you please, Ms. Tomoyo." He said with confidence and honest.

"Yue, you've been adding up her name in every word you said. Why is that?"

"Because it's such a beautiful name."

"Oh, wow, you make her blushing hard." I laugh hard; well it has been a long time since I did it. I can't hold myself from laughing at Tomoyo's red face.

"That's not true. I'm just feeling a bit hot." Tomoyo said, covering her face with her gloved hand.

"Well, I hope you both can get along well. And we are so sorry, Yue. We have appointment to do now. I hope you don't mind if me and Tomoyo are leaving first."

"Oh, please do so. I'll, keep contact with you, Ms. Tomoyo."

I grabbed Tomoyo by her hand, trying to distract her from staring at Yue's face. I just want her to stop it already. She looked so obviously in love with Yue.

Once we're in front of Tomoyo's boutique, Tomoyo shows me the way to her office, behind the show room. It wasn't a big room, but it's not a mega-size either. It's just simply nice and warm room where there are about five mannequins with no head, no hands, and no legs are standing with different clothes attached on each one.

There are clothing material, and sewing stuff on the floor. But it still looks organized, not as messy as I ever imagine.

"Sakura, have a sit." She fetched me a comfy chair in front of her work desk.

I took a sit and show some gratitude, "Thank you."

"So, basically.. Sakura, sorry I want to talk about the wedding first." She let out a small giggle while opening her laptop. "I've came up with ten design for your wedding dress. I haven't completed all ten, and I want both of you and Syaoran to be able to pick it together."

"Um, well... Yeah, I'll let him know about this." I give her an unwilling answer.

"This one," She turn the laptop so it facing me. "See, this is my previous client. She's from a jet set society, just like Syaoran, and she held a wedding ceremony on the beach in San Francisco. They are my very first client. And since I can successfully manage it to be their desired ceremony, I decided to make it my specialty. Then, here I am now, planning for your wedding party, FYI, I have a lot of confidence in both of you and Syaoran."

As I clearly look at the picture, I finally realized that the couple in the picture was a couple I pretty well known. Just to make sure, I decided to dumbly ask Tomoyo about the couple in the picture. "Tomoyo, is it possible for you to tell me who are your first client?"

"Oh, you don't know them? They are pretty famous in Hong Kong. The bride is the only daughter of Sams Corp owner, Sierra Bernetta Faustine and the groom is Jarret Deandre Jr. from Armenia. They get married last week. It was a very blissful ceremony, and the bride was so beautiful. Too bad the invitation was open for close relative only. The mass media didn't know about it so we can successfully hold a sacred outdoor wedding ceremony. They told me that they'll make it official a day after New Year."

My heart aced like crazy. I don't know what to say, knowing that Sierra is already married to that Armenian guy. Does Syaoran know about it? How if he didn't know? Should I let him know? But if I tell him, will he go mad at me and violent me for the umpteenth time?

"Ms. Sierra looked so happy on her wedding. She told me she felt complete with Mr. Jarret by her side. And they even told me that they'll go straight to the parent hooding after the honeymoon. How about yours? Do you want it to be an indoor or outdoor party?"

I can't take my eyes from the picture on her laptop. I don't even listening to Tomoyo's question. A hundred of unanswered questions are starting to pop out inside my head. And I can't seem to find the answer. What should I do now?

"..um.. Sakura, are you okay?" I felt her hand on my shoulder, softly shaking me up.

"Ah, Tomoyo, I.., I'm sorry. I was just thinking about what should I do next with the wedding and all, since Ms. Sierra seems had thrown the most beautiful party I've ever seen. Ha ha ha." I give her a fake laugh to cover up my nervousness.

"Don't worry, Sakura. You'll get over it. I'll plan a beautiful party for you. It would be the biggest wedding party ever!!"

"Thank you, Tomoyo. So, anyway, which dress that you want to me to wear on tomorrow's party?"

"Oh, almost forget." She slowly walks to a small drawer behind her. "Well, this one." she put a yellow clothing from the drawer, "This one." she put another black cloth from the same drawer, "And this one." She finally put on a red cloth from the drawer before closing it.

"That's a lot to decide. I thought you just had one, so I can just wear, no need to choose. I hate choices when it comes to dress."

"Oh, come on Sakura. I'm here! And you can let me choose it for you."

"Really?"

"Anything for my friend."

"Well, okay. Thank's."

"You're welcome. And may I ask what kind of party is that?"

"It's TV1 Christmas Party. Syaoran got the invitation and he asked me to come."

"Wow, THE TV1? Oh, my, Sakura, you should come. And I know you will look good on this black dress. Don't forget to tell the press that your dress is sponsored by me." She said, winking her dark grey eyes on me.

"Don't worry, I will."

"Sakura, hey, you look pale, are you cold?" she said, holding my hand softly. I feel a sudden remorse to have Tomoyo mistook my nervousness to look sick.

"No I was just... ugh. I'm so sorry, Tomoyo I can't. I can't marry him." Tears starting to form on the edge of my eyes as grabbing her hands more. I let out the cry. I actually don't want her to look at me like this, but this stupid emotion, just makes me – oh doing drama scene to someone who just knew me for like only a month.

"No. Wait, Sakura.. what is wrong with you?" he take a sit beside me as trying to make me calm, holding my back, rocking it back and forth with his right hand and put a box of tissue on the edge of the table. "Oh, here have a tissue."

I took a tissue from the box and wipe my tears from both my eyes and (even more) nose.

"Thank you.. I'm so sorry, Tomoyo. I shouldn't be this way I just..."

"I know about it, Sakura. Don't hide it from me. I knew there is something wrong between you and Syaoran."

I was startled when she said that she knew all about me and Syaoran. How could she..

"No, it's not that I have a serious problem with him. I was just.. after what he did to me, I.. I fallen for him.. and Sierra.. she is.."

I'm starting to feel weird on my stomach. I'm so confused with the thought of trying to cover her knowledge of my relationship with Syaoran. Or just let's try to listen how far she know about me and Syaoran.

"Sakura.." she hugged me warmly, friendly even, rubbing my back in a very comfortable way. But her kindness just made me cried even harder. This is the first time I let my guard down to someone I barely know for even a month. I had never ever let a single tears slipped out from my eyes when I was in my last ten years.

Then I tell her about the whole thing. About the deal with mother, about Syaoran being unpredictable jerk who keep hurting me in the past, and about incidentally knowing Sierra's relationship with Syaoran.

"Oh, Sakura.. I'm so sorry to hear that. I should tell you sooner that I was their friend back in university year. We were good friend. I know Syaoran's mother, because she loves my design, well not really but our mother are in the same circle, but I don't really know about the sisters. They are hardly stayed long in Hong Kong, but aunty Yelan does. She treated me nicely just like her own daughter."

_Still, it's not enough. I want to know more about a girl Syaoran fallen in love with._

"And.. how about Sierra?"

"Sierra was my roommate back then. She was majoring in management while I was in designing. We are still a good friend, and I knew about their relationship pretty well."

"So, how was Syaoran? I mean their relationship.."

"Yeah, it's just like you told me. He loves Sierra like no one else, so does Sierra. But she can't betray her parents for Syaoran. Once she knew about their parents relationship with each other, they decided to go backstreet, but for a long while after we graduated, she get engaged to Jarret. She didn't know Jarret, she told me once that she will never ever agree to marry him. Telling me that her only love is Syaoran and Syaoran only. But look, how things turn out, she's now happy with Jarret on her side, and even ditch Syaoran for him.

"I knew the fact that he keep her relationship with Syaoran secretly from Jarret, and Syaoran had keep their relationship from his family. Until she realized that she is being unfair to both Syaoran and Jarret. She's starting to realize that he love Jarret as much as she loves Syaoran, and it makes her confused.

"Until she finally decide to face it. She took the risk to choose Jarret over Syaoran, sacrificing one for another. And she found it impossible to continuing the relationship with Syaoran, as.." she rolled her eyes uncomfortably, "she is now pregnant with Jarret baby."

"Wh.. what? Pregnant?"

"Yeah, she told me she want to start the parent hooding moment immediately, and when I asked the reason-well I didn't expect her to answer me that honest anyway-she told me that she is now pregnant with Jarret baby inside her."

I gasped at her explanation. Oh, God please tell me what to do.

This jet set society life has so much drama going on. I couldn't take it anymore. My heads hurt like crazy. What should I do now? Knowing that it is impossible for me to explain this thing to Syaoran. I doubt he will understand the reason. He will acknowledge this as a joke if I tell him.

But he needed to know what's the truth. He has his right to know about it. He deserved the truth, even if it's hurt. It's better for him rather than living in lies for the rest of his life. If it's me, I'll choose to know the bitter truth than some sweet lies.

And finally, after so much struggling with the idea whether to tell him the truth or the lies, I decide the best answer was to just keep my mouth shut about this. Even I'm against fudge things, but still I want him to be happy.

He only smiles when he talk about Sierra. He only laughs when he saw Sierra. And for me, I only smile when Syaoran happy, I only laugh when Syaoran in bliss. With all the risk ahead, I'll definitely overcome this choice.

~*~

Today is the day. The Christmas fundraising party on TV1 in the centre of Hong Kong. I've made a deal with Syaoran that I'll come with Rika as a representation from Sonyc Corp. Syaoran will come alone as he got a VIP invitation anyway.

"Are you sure you won't come with me." He asked me while fixing his messy chestnut hair.

"Yeah, I promise you I'll come. But I had never said that I would come together with you. That's the deal, okay?"

"Well, yeah.. But we can go on our way separately when we get there."

"Thank's but no. I promise Rika for this."

"Ok, if you said so."

When I feel like I'm done with my simple make up, I walked towards him and grabbed him by his shoulder, staring at him head to toe. All perfect, neat hairdo, perfect formal suit, clean shoes, and.. wait, what is wrong with his tie. He should know it better.

I touched his collar and fix the tie knot for him.

"Nah, it should be… this way, ok, done."

I can feel him holding on his breath for a second before blushing lightly and said, "Thanks' Sakura."

Adding some more finishing touches on his hair, I put a slim fit coat on his back and help him wear it. "Well, okay. You are perfectly handsome, now you can go."

"Okay, I'll see you later.." he grab his car key and heading to the door and stopped there before opening the door, he turn around to my direction, "Anyway, you look beautiful tonight. That makes me nervous somehow. Err.. I'll see you there, bye." With that, he rushed to the outside of the house.

He left me dumbfounded again.

Then a loud ring came destructing my mind. I'm rushing to the dining room where I left my phone.

"Sakura's speaking."

"Hi, this is Rika. Just want to let you know that now I'm heading to the meeting point, so you can drive your car to that place as soon as possible because I don't want to be late, it would be a shame for both of us."

I laughed hard at her sentences, "Okay, I'll be there in five minutes." With that, I close the phone cover and running to the parking lot.

An hour later, we were already on the TV1 hall area where we supposed to be. There are Christmas ornaments everywhere. They even have people dressed in Santa clothes everywhere around the hall. There are all four Christmas tree inside the hall and buffet tables in every corner.

"May I see your ID card, misses?"

I pick my ID card inside my purse and show it to the security guard. As he nodded at us, he show us the table.

"Sakura, that's the chairman." Rika's loud whisper tickling my ear.

"Where?"

"There, the one talking to the owner of TV1, Mr. Yoh." He pointed a guy in white shirt and black tie.

"Oh, yeah, that's him."

"God, he's so dreamy. I wish I could just shake his hand, I believe he don't know my name. I'm just one of his hundred thousand workers after all."

"Don't say that, Rika. He thinks about his workers all the time. That's why he always makes successful deal with our partner, because that way we can continuously work for the company and earn money from it."

"Yeah, you are right."

"So, what are we doing now?"

"Just sit and enjoy the party. And maybe you can pick one handsome guy to befriend you."

"Geez, Rika!! That's inappropriate! I'm engaged!!"

"What? You are engaged? Why don't you tell me?"

"Because it just happened not long ago."

"But that won't stop you from eyeing some of them, right?"

"Oh, well.. Okay. You can do as you like.. I won't follow you."

"Oh-My-God, Sakura, look whose coming!!" Rika said in excitement as a spotlight hit the new coming guest.

"Who?"

"That one is Jarret Deandre and his girlfriend!!"

Jarret? That sounds familiar. But I can't clearly look at the guests face, knowing that they're hundred spotlight and blitz raining on them.

"Which Jarret?" I dumbly asked her without shifting my sight from the new coming guests.

"The one whose engaged to Sierra Bernetta Faustine and there she is, beside him. Look, they're so lovely together."

My heart thumping like a hundred time in minute, my heart pushing the blood to flow right to my brain and now my head is throbbing in rhythm with my heart. It's giving me a headache.

I can see Sierra's image clearly. She's there, hand in hand with her husband. They're kissing each other hand alternately. I can see their lovingly image together any longer. I want to, but I also won't. What if Syaoran see this? My eyes now searching for a man with white shirt and black tie with pretty messy chestnut hair.

"Damn Syaoran, where are you?" I whispered to myself.

"What is it, Sakura?"

"No, err.. can you please wait here. I want to use the rest room." I lied to Rika but she seem didn't care much about it. She keep her eyes on the guests coming from the door. Rika seems interested in blitz and spotlight. What a girl.

So I just go to the terrace to look for Syaoran, but failed. Syaoran was nowhere to be found. I pick my phone and dial his phone number. After what it seems like forever, finally the other line answered.

"What's wrong, Sakura?"

"Listen, where are you now?"

"Hey, calm down. I'm approaching you anyway. Where are you?"

"Oh, thank goodness. I'm outside the hall, at the second story balcony."

"Great! I'll be there shortly."

"Okay," I hang up the phone and put it back inside the purse.

The night breeze makes me shiver. My up do hairstyle makes my neck freeze of the night wind. I'm glad I follow Tomoyo's choice to wear this black dress. There's sweetheart neckline with a sheer silk overlay. Pleat and gather details on the torso with side zip closure and also lace ruffle skirt to match the Lolita look.

I embraced myself with my own hand, covering from getting cold while wondering what took Syaoran so long. Maybe he met Sierra on his way here, but that wouldn't it be bad if Syaoran found him together with Jarret. Oh I'm sweating again.

"Excuse me, are you alone?" a guy with a small eyes and white suit standing beside me, holding two cocktail glasses right beside me.

"No. I'm waiting for someone." I answered in a very flat tone; I really have no time for this.

"Why not letting us having a warm chat while waiting for someone. It wouldn't hurt to have some company in the middle of a cold night like this, right?"

"We.. well yeah, I think so.. but-"

"Here, for you. This is appletini by the way."

"Err, no thanks I... don't like martinis... so…"

"Wait," he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back, "at least tell me your name. Sorry if you find me annoyingly flirty, but I can't help myself for getting to know you more. I thought this is the best way, but I can see that this is actually not."

I'm starting to feel sorry for him. Yeah, he was annoying at first. But he was just trying to be nice and he's worth it. So I get back to where I was first and tell my name as he reached his hand to me.

"My name is Yukito Tsukishiro. I'm a Japanese and I can see that you are a Japanese as well, guessing from your name." he let out a small but melodious chuckle.

"Well, yeah I am Japanese."

We finally decided to have a Japanese conversation. Oh, how I missed a conversation like this. He tells me that he came straight from Japan this evening to attend the party. I asked him how is Japan lately, which prefecture did he come from, which restaurant is the favorite, he even tell me to call him by his first name, Yuki. Then it was a very warm conversation until a big body blocking my vision from Yuki.

"I'm sorry to disturb your conversation, but this young lady is with me. You are more than welcome to go away."

"Syaoran?"

"Oh, I'm sorry sir. I thought this beautiful lady here need some companion while waiting for her someone. Please excuse me. I'll see you later, Sakura."

"Bye, take care."

Then he look at me with his brown eyes, scared of it, I closed my eyes tightly but then he give me a hug.

"Don't talk to a stranger, okay?" he whispered it slowly on my ear.

"But he's not a stranger, Syaoran. He's just being generous to offer companion while I'm waiting you here alone. He's Japanese anyway."

"He's a stranger, Sakura. You would not find your friend, here, in Hong Kong. You told me that I should believe your little lie?"

"Syaoran, don't start this okay. He's just being a gentleman okay. He didn't give me any harm, so at least I should give him a thank you."

"You don't know what you are talking about. Here, there are so many hungry men looking for a chance. And seeing you in this dress just makes him even wild."

"Syaoran, I don't get you at all okay. First, you told me to join this party so you can introduce me to your friend. Now when I get that friend, you are mad. I just..."

"YOU STOP TALKING BACK TO ME!! Listen; don't make me mad you bitch! You just-"

"Is that you, Mr. Li?" a heavy voice suddenly interrupt as the voice owner approaching us in the edge of big balcony. He look familiar, with a woman behind him looking nervous and all.

Oh no God. That's Mr. Jarret and Sierra.

Then I hurriedly turn Syaoran back so it's now facing Mr. Jarret and Sierra. I just have to do something so he won't notice about Mr. Jarret and Sierra coming this way.

"Mr. Li? Mr. Li Xiao Lang isn't it?"

"Sakura, what are you doing? There is someone calling me."

"NO! Don't you ever turn to your back, just ignore it, pretend you didn't hear anything."

But the other couple seems to still approaching to our direction. Then I can't think about anything anymore. I hugged him tightly with hope that they'll look at us as another unknown couple and ignore us.

"Sakura, what are you doing?"

"Please Syaoran, stand still."

"No, I should go. There is someone calling me, okay?"

"No, there is no one."

"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. Are you Mr. Li Syaoran?"

There he is, standing, holding Sierra's hand in front of the image of me hugging Syaoran.

"Ah, er.. Mr. Jarret Deandre!! What a surprise to see you here. I'm sorry I didn't hear you calling out my name."

"Oh, I thought I was mistaken for another lovely on the corner couple. I see you hugging each other, but I don't want to waste my time to have a little business talk with you while you are free, I know the fact that you are a very busy person. So, I'm so sorry to disturb you."

"No, not at all, I'm just his friend. Yeah, I'm working on his company and we have an intense conversation about.. a.. marketing development. And oh, yeah here this is my business card. My name is Sakura Kinomoto, I'm the President of Marketing Department."

"Wow, thank you Ms. Kinomoto. And.." he put his wallet and gave me his business card. "..is my business card. I'm Jarret Deandre and this is my wife, Sierra Deandre. She's sick from the nausea so that's why I bring her here to have a breath of fresh air. I knew her condition today didn't match the night occasion, since she's newly pregnant. She's been very sick lately."

"Oh, that's good to hear that. I hope the baby will grow up well, Mr. Deandre."

I can see both of Sierra and Syaoran feels uneasy to each other. She didn't even give a glance to Syaoran. She keep on gripping her husband arms until she fell to the ground, holding her mouth tightly.

"Sierra!!" with just one shout, Syaoran make us look at him surprised by his word, "I mean.. Mrs. Deandre are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just rather dizzy and feel like puking."

"Sakura, please help Mrs. Deandre to the rest room."

"Oh, I'm sorry to ask you this but can you help her? You know I can't just enter ladies rest room just saying that my wife feel like puking now."

"Ye.. yeah!! I'll do my best, sir." I help her to stand up and slowly escort him out of the balcony to the rest room. "Mrs. Deandre are you okay? Should I take mineral water?"

"No, no thank you.. I.." she can't even finish her word because she's already puking badly on the toilet stool. The rest room now reek of nasty smell from puking.

Luckily the dress she wore was not stained with vomit. It was a pure white gown off with V neck and glitter on it. She wore a white heels, with double strip on the above. Her hair was typically updo with a bar of jewel pinned on it.

"I'm sorry to make you see me like this. I know it smells bad, but I can't help it. The doctor said that my pregnancy will be hard, because I'm nervous, he told me that I'll get a nausea and keep puking like this for the next three months. Oh, puke makes my body exhausted."

"That's okay. A pregnant woman may let your body exhausted but pregnancy also tend to make woman look more beautiful, and don't worry you'll get over it. You'll find a joy whenever you got nausea and throw up, because that way, the baby inside you wants you to feel that it's alive and it needs your attention."

"Ha ha ha ha, that's true. Hey, you are good with this thing. You know, not just everyone can put up with pregnant woman for long. Woman nowadays, they find it sucks to get pregnant, to overcome with hormonal things, to have babies. All of my friends told me that they'll come to see me once I'm over with my hormonal changes. That's mean!"

I giggled seeing her giving a mad comment to her socialite friend, "I somehow agree with your opinion, but I'm the other case. I do love the independence on me, but it has nothing to do with having a baby. It's all woman dreams to build a complete family, with kids of course. I can still do my career while having a baby, even if it will be hard but I know I'll overcome it. It's a challenge."

"That's so nice of you, Kinomoto. Anyway, I can see you are having a serious conversation with Syaoran a minute ago. Are you his girlfriend?" she put a grin on her face while wiping her face with tissue.

"Um, no.. I'm just a bit close to him for some reason and.."

Then suddenly she did a very deep bow to me. I was surprised, why she's bowing to me all of sudden. Yeah she's nice, yeah she's beautiful, and yeah she's adorable, lovable. If I was a man, I probably dying to have her in my arms.

"Mrs. Deandre why are you." I help him to straighten his back and stop her from bowing." Please don't do this.."

"I have to. Because I owe him an apologies." As she straightened her back, I can see her eyes staring to water. "I cheated on him, having a wedding without even telling him. I knew the fact that he love me, but we are different. We can't be together just simply because we stand on our own business deal. We are rival in the business world, but we are a lover at the same time. Don't you think it's weird for us being together in this way?

"Raised in this kind of life, it's hard not to obey my parents, and it's even harder to see the fact that I can't stand against our parents for our relationship. I'm the only heir of this damn big corporation, I can't deny it. There is no way I could ask for more, I always have everything I want before I even say it. So, to love Syaoran, to hurt both of my family and his family was a thing I can't stand.

"Go for dinner together is okay, walking hand in hand is okay, kissing is okay, but how if the bond between us become stronger if we fall too deep in love with each other it will just hurt all of us, all of our family. It's hurt to run relationships that will just hurting the others. So that's why I decided to accept Jarret, to be honest, I find it annoying to have some stranger engaged to me at first. But I don't know, my parents forced me to live together and all then suddenly out of nowhere the feeling to love him, to know more about him, to be the one for him.

"Then before I even realize it, I fell in love with him, badly."

I startled at her explanation. I thought that she was the cruel one to leave Syaoran like that. But she's just the same as me. Can't help but to fall in love, we can't plan something like loving someone. It wasn't entirely her fault and I feel sorry to blame her at first.

I warmly grab her hand and try to calm her down.

"I can see that clearly from both of your eyes, Mrs. Deandre. I wish you a very happy life together with Mr. Deandre."

"Thank you. I hope I can see you again anytime soon. We are friends, okay?" then she finally smile.

"Okay. Call me Sakura."

"If that's the case, then call me Sierra. And please take a good care of Syaoran. He's a good man and he deserves a good companion. I know you mean a lot to him, Sakura."

"Thank you but, no.. It's not like what you think. Our relationship is just.."

"Sakura, please help me. I feel like puking again in no time. Please hold my hand, I need something hard to be squeezed."

"Okay, okay, here." I help her shooting her back while my other hand is being squeezed on.

Once she felt better, I helped her to get back to where Syaoran and Mr. Deandre were. I can see they are having a serious conversation there but once Mr. Deandre saw Sierra, he stopped talking and approaching us.

"Honey are you okay?" Mr. Deandre asked with a lot of concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks to Sakura now I'm feeling a lot better."

"Sweetie, that's surprised me you both now on a first name basis. Well thank you so much for your hand, Ms. Kinomoto."

"Nah, it's okay."

Another second, there is a loud ringing coming from Mr. Deandre's phone. "Ah, wait.. I got a phone call.. Hello, yeah.." while Mr. Deandre slowly walk to a quite space behind the pot, Sierra eyeing me and said, "Sakura, can I have a moment with Syaoran alone? It won't take too long anyway."

"Oh, please take your time. I have to talk to my friend downstairs. Just take your time, okay?" I said politely, ready to leave them alone to meet Rika downstairs. I don't want to make her angry because waiting me too long.

"NO! Sakura, you wait here-" He shout quite loud to make me stop. "-beside me."

I actually don't want to obey him, but if I didn't listen to what he said, I maybe will just embarrass myself in public, to be the one who makes a drama scene in such a crowded place. "Oh, um… okay."

I shyly walk towards him and set my foot beside his. Then once he feel I'm by his side, then he start the conversation, "So, what it is you want to talk Mrs. Deandre?"

"I'm glad you know that now I'm Mrs. Deandre to you. But since you are one of my friend, I have right to let you call my first name. Sierra is okay."

"Okay then, Sierra what it is you want to talk with me?"

"I.. just want to apologize for everything. I know it sounds like I'm an insolent woman to love two men at the same time. Call me two timers bitch and all but I want you to know that I did it because I confused and don't understand about where my heart heading. I thought about it a lot, and decided that loving you, Syaoran, will never bring happiness to me. Yes, for myself, maybe you can makes me the happiest woman alive in this whole world. But how, what about my parent, my family and moreover, your parents, your family. This isn't love, Syaoran. To sacrifice every innocent soul around us, just for our happiness. It's not fair."

"But you promise. You told me back then, will fight all odds to stand for us. And now you said this shit to me? Just how in the world you can… you heart to… just forget the whole thing we've been through?"

"I don't think it's good for both of us, Syaoran. It's just going to hurt both of us sooner or later. Not to be forgotten, I'm married, Syaoran. I'm now someone else's wife!!"

"You hurt me here, Sierra. There will be no one replace you in my heart. I promise to God, here in front of you that we have a very true love and we will reunite again sooner or later. I'll make you come back to me. I prom.."

SLAP

I've had enough of this – going nowhere – conversation and before I knew it, I had slapped Syaoran hard on his face.

"Stop behaving like stupid brat, Syaoran!! It's not how you supposed to act towards her. Haunting her newlywed life with your damn curses!!" I stopped glaring at him and look at Sierra's blue eyes. "I'm very sorry to interfere your conversation. But if you keep on telling him indecisively, then you will lead this conversation to nowhere.

"Sierra, love is a true feeling. You can't fake it even if you are the best actor in this world. I honestly think that you both actually can overcome this problem easily. For Syaoran to keep on loving Sierra and fight against all who won't approve your relationship. And for Sierra to not bother about engaged to stranger, to just ignore the guilty feeling because of hurting everyone around you. You can easily going through all of it with a true love as your principle but now, let me ask you one honest question. Sierra, did you love Syaoran with all of your heart that you will sacrifice all you had, all you love, to Syaoran and Syaoran only? Please be honest."

"I do love Syaoran with all my heart but to sacrifice the others my family.. I-"

"There is no but to love someone, Sierra that is where you missed. You will discard all the buts for that someone you love. See the difference now? You threw away all the exception and excuse for the sake of being together with your husband, Mr. Deandre. And you keep on giving that buts for Syaoran. Don't you find it weird? Just admit it, Sierra, that you love Mr. Deandre more than Syaoran."

She put her hand on her face and started to sob.

"Sakura, stop it!! It's enough!! Don't push her more than you already have." Syaoran shouted at me loudly while holding Sierra's shoulder.

I was taken aback with what he did. Still shaking, I stared deep into his eyes, looking for an answer for my stupid hope, for him to love me back, because I already love him with all I have. Then I knew, I saw nothing in his eyes. He didn't love me.

How stupid of me to act this way, trying to defend Syaoran, trying to be his hero, trying to make him love me back. But look, the moment I saw him with Sierra, that's what love is. True love is when you love someone without even think to get the same feeling from the other person.

Love is love, there is nothing bad with it. Love is beautiful, a pure feeling with no single stain.

"I'm sorry." With that, I leave him standing there, holding on to Sierra like a real couple.

I love him, that's why I should wish for his happiness. Demanding to receive something in return is not acceptable.

I keep on running down stairs, with hope that Syaoran will somehow reunite with Sierra again even if just for a friend. I hope they'll forgive each other and be at least a good friend.

That's when I saw Rika standing against the wall with cocktail glass on her hand.

"Sakura! I've been searching for you. Come here, the mc said there will be a short announcement from our head director, Mrs. Li. Don't you feel excited? I really want to hear!!"

"Well, okay. But I want to have a drink. I feel like dry on my throat."

"Yeah, you look exhausted."

"Um… give me vodka mix please." I said to bartender from over the desk, and Rika said she'll have more glass of martini.

I saw mother stepped in to the podium and fixing the mic.

"Ladies and gentleman, I'm sorry for my sudden interruption. I'm here to deliver two announcements. First, I'm here to represent my company to report the amount of our donation program to this fundraising campaign. As you can see, we as a multinational company should give our attention the society by doing social responsibility." I can see her pale old yet beautiful face under the spotlight. She carried on her speech clearly, with not much platitude.

"We hereby set the amount of the donation to this fundraising campaign here today is HKD 200,000" a drum roll and applause storming together so it become a hilarious moment.

"That's quite a huge amount. Well, I'm proud." She said gulping her martini down.

"Yeah, me too." I said perfunctory.

Mother still standing there, waiting for the guests to finish the applause.

"..and second, I would like to proudly announce my son, Syaoran Li the heir of Sonyc Corp and his fiancé Sakura Kinomoto will held the wedding ceremony by the end of January next year. I wish them a very happy life from now on. Applause!"

I dropped my glass on the desk and the contain spill out from the inside.

"Sakura Kinomoto? Hey, you are a Sakura as well right. Does she mean that Sakura is you? Is that true? Are you the one whose engaged to the chairman?" Rika's face is so close to me, but still I can't hear clearly what she just said because the audience is excited with joy and curiosity.

Without even caring to answer Rika's question, I hurriedly leave the bar corner to the car and step on the gas so I can reach home fast.

I have my phone off. I'm done with those congratulation messages filling up my inbox and I have no idea on how in the world they know my mobile phone number?

When I get home, I hurriedly lock the door and run to the bedroom also locking it with hope that Syaoran can't open it.

I threw my body on the bed and hug the pillow, burry my face into it. Crying is the only one thing I can do. Remembering that Syaoran shouting at me that loud, I didn't even mean to hurt Sierra's feeling. I just want to help her and Syaoran mistook me for scaring her.

Sierra is a very nice lady. She's beautiful and kind at the same time, and I do wish her happiness. Never on my mind wanting to hurt her, didn't I have any motive to do it anyway.

Really, what kind of face should I give him when I see him later? It's so obvious he will get mad from mothers announcement. He didn't love me, he still not over with Sierra, he love her and there is no place for me inside his heart.

The show tonight is being broadcasted all over the nation and the mass media will also publish it on the tomorrow newspaper. What should I do? What if father and brother knew about this? They sure will get mad.

God, I can't find the answer and I neither close my eyes to get sleep. The images of Syaoran shouting at me, protecting Sierra like vulnerable thing, that marriage announcement – now that I'm an average worker get engaged to a millionaire like Syaoran – are haunting inside my head.

~*~

To be continued...

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**Hisashiburi!! :)**

I'm back! Thank you for supporting me while I'm on hiatus..

Ne, what do you think about this chapter? I hope it turns out good :)

My biggest hug to my niichan, I missed talking to ya!

Thank you Rapid-chan for the beta! This is **THE BEST**!! YAY! Talk to you soon :)

Biggest thanks to all my readers :) Without you guys, this will be nothing more than MS WORD file inside my document folder :p


	8. Droplets

**WARNING:**

**DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DARK/ABUSIVE THINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?! THIS IS SERIOUS!!**

**IT'S A COMPLETELY OOC FIC**!!! **AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT INTO SOME KIND OF THING, THEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS FIC IMMIDIATELY**!!

**DON'T FLAME THIS STORY, GUYS. I'M JUST BORROWING CCS CHARACTERS NAME BUT IT ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY ITSELFS.**

**YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!**

**REAL LIFE IS CRUEL AND UNEXPECTED.

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**Theme song: Colbie Caillat featuring Jason Reeves - Droplets

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I woke up the next morning with a cold shiver running through my spine. I hesitantly put my hand on the doorknob to check on the outside and was surprised to see Syaoran sitting quietly on the dining chair with a blank stare on his eyes.

I tried my best not to make a noise, but the door squeaking quite loud to make Syaoran turn to his back and notice my presence. "You're awake?" he asked, with a lot of concern on his voice.

I held my breath for a second, and decided to quit from the hiding place. "Yeah, I thought you won't come back so I just sleep here. From tonight onwards, I'll take the sofa."

"No, I don't mind about that. It's just last night I-"

"Ah, I need to hurry. I have to print the annual yearly report, I don't want to get back home late so that's why I have to go now."

He grabbed my hand softly but strong enough to make me stop. I turn on my back and see right on his eyes to seek answer behind his hazel eyes, "What?"

"You don't have to go."

Am I hearing wrong. "What?"

"I mean, I'll ask someone else to do that for you."

"What? What do you mean? I can't just let someone else to do my work."

"Let's go on holiday."

"WHAT?" I tried to take off his hand from mine, "Stop kidding me, Syaoran! I really have to go."

"No, wait!" he catch my hand for the second time, now he held both of my hands and move his hand to my shoulder, holding on it tightly. "I'm serious about this. Let's go. I'll arrange someone to take care of your work while we're away."

"But Syaoran, it's too sudden. I haven't prepared anything yet."

"You seriously don't have to! I've prepared everything for us, the jet, the villa, the car, the visa, the clothes. I've prepared everything."

"But why me? You can ask your friend, or even another girlfriend."

"If you want to know the reason, you have to follow me."

"I..." I hesitated for a second, "I'll take a bath first."

"Okay."

I turn the shower on and let the warm water pouring onto my body.

What should I do? It was too sudden. I didn't think he will say things like that when we meet.

A holiday? What for? After what he did to me last night at the party? And after that wedding announcement? I predicted that he'll beat me up today, but holiday? I just don't understand him.

It's not like Syaoran at all. To be so soft, asking my permission to agree with him. He could just push me to the wall or slap me hard on my face if I decline his order. But just now, asking me like that, it's just like I was someone special. With just that stupid sweet thing he did to me, now I can't even stand straight on my feet.

_Maybe giving him a chance wouldn't hurt._

I open up my eyes annoyed with the sound of jet machine running below the body of airplane. I rub my eyes slowly. Narrowing my eyes slightly, because of the sun shine bursting brightly through the airplane shades.

Then a long hand pulled down the window shades, Syaoran's hand. "Are you all right?"

I forced a small smile and sighed, "Well, not really. To be honest, I'm not in the mood to take a flight."

"Um, sorry… You should just sleep. We're still half way to go."

I look at the watch on my left hand, "Well yeah, I'm sure it has been two hours already and I've been sleeping all the time." I change my position to face the window shades, and fold my hand on my stomach.

"Do you need a drink? I'll ask the stewardess to give you one."

There he goes again, being nice all of sudden. _The nicer you are, the more I'm aware of your bad temper._ "No, Syaoran. No thanks."

"Just tell me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay, thanks."

I was afraid at the beginning. The probability of him, pulling a trap on me was high. Maybe he just want to run his plan to humiliate me or even hurting me in a place where no one around. I've prepared, gather all my strength to face it whenever he want to do it to me. It's just about the time.

But the chance of him being kind to me was also high. He hadn't shown me his cruel part of him lately and it comforts me, knowing that he's trying to show me that he care about me. Nothing like rude words, violence, and knowing him that gentle makes me confuse and aware of what will he do to me next.

That's kind of making me sick. The way he put up his 'gentleman' act towards me, that's the reason why now I'm having a very bad headache.

His kind behavior makes me happy and aware at the same time.

A cold hand holding my shoulder shook me gently. "Hey Sakura, we've arrived, let's get going."

I blinked my eyes several time, not knowing that we've landed. I feel so tired and sleepy, but Syaoran helped me to get up and leave the plane. Syaoran had held my hand on the way to the car. I'm amazed to found out there was a car just beside the airplane ladder.

It's actually a very warm night when I look around outside the airplane. The warm night breeze brushing my mid-length hair, give me a shiver on my spine.

"Sakura, watch your step."

"Okay."

I can feel his grip tightened around mine. I kind of relief to know that his tight grip helped me a lot. To feel dizzy like this, it's like when a wind run through me I can easily fall of the ground. But his tight grip makes me strong enough to hold on myself.

Once we step inside the car, Syaoran's hand was still on mine. I'm thinking that maybe he forget to take it off, or maybe he just want to play with my feeling, or maybe he want to make sure that I'm okay, or maybe he want to set me on ease with his hand on mine. That's really a lot for me to think.

Not long after we ride the car, the driver stopped right in front of the big house surrounded by a sea. It's a beach house. Syaoran indicate the driver to take care of the luggage while Syaoran pull me out of the car, drag me to follow his direction with his hand still holding mine.

Then he stopped on one spot with an old trunk on the beach. He sat there and left another space for me to sit.

"Have a sit." He said while I nodded and take a sit beside him.

The sea waves splashing in rhyme. That makes me amazed with how it sounded. Syaoran was quite, and I can tell that he enjoy the splashing sound as well. We were quite to enjoy the sound of splashing sea waves.

I turn my head to see his face. I want to know what's inside his head. Why he kept holding my hand, I know he knew the fact that my hands are sweating a lot right from the beginning. That calm figure, that straight jaw line, that long eye lash. I enjoy the moment when I can observe his beauty without having caught.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I was startled when he turned his head to look at me. I wasn't aware that I've been looking at him for quite a while.

My face started to feel hot. I was so embarrassed to get caught up when I was looking at him. "Um, I.. no, it's just.. Well..."

He move forward closer to me, "Do you have a fever?"

I pull myself back. I don't want to be anywhere close to him. Not now, at least. "No, no it's not that."

He put his usual devilish grin on his face, "Then what?"

"Um, I-"

He let out a small chuckle, "I'm sorry. I was thinking about to tease you, but I know I'm going overboard. Sorry."

I can see he's trying to make fun of me. Knowing that I'm embarrassed to get caught watching his face. And somehow it makes me feel uncomfortable.

"You don't have to say sorry if you didn't even mean it." I said, in a very short and sharp tone.

"Of course I mean it. The look on your face, I can tell that you're irritated. I feel that I have to give you a proper apologize."

I smirked. "Yeah, I'm irritated. Glad you know it before I even say it." I said, nearly shouting at him.

Then there was a huge silent between us. I can see his surprised face after I shouted at him.

He sighed, "Why are you acting like that suddenly? I'm trying to be nice to you."

_See, there he goes.. I knew he expected me to be nice to him since he tried to be nice to me. That's make me sick._

"To hell with being nice." I shouted at him quite loudly get up from where I'm sitting. "You act nicely, because you want me to be nice to you as well? Syaoran, life isn't yours to decide."

"Hey, what is wrong with you?!" he tried to hold my hand but I let go of it quickly. I don't want him to control my life anymore. "Yeah, I knew it perfectly. This life is not mine. But I'm trying, at least I expect you to answer me without shouting like that, okay!" he still tried to argue.

"You expect me to calm down, while you, on the first place did those horrible things to me. Should I shout it out loud here, Syaoran? That you were horrible jerk who raped me, violated me, and now you want me to just ignore those painful memory and get along with you?

"I tried, Syaoran!! I tried to be nice to you. I tried to hold on to you while you're in love with another married woman. And now, after you shouted at me back then at the party in front of hundred people, I've had enough. I'm not strong enough to hold on to your unpredictable mind, your violent behavior."

He's just looking at me without any effort to stop me screaming like crazy. Well maybe he'll find it so funny to see people angry and scream in the middle of the night. Yeah, he's a freaking abnormal man after all.

"You know, I shouldn't stand up for you right from the beginning. When I saw you inside the restaurant with Sierra that night, I told Feimei about what you did to me. You raped me, you did horrible thing to me but still I am willing to help you. Knowing that Sierra is married to someone else. I thought I shouldn't leave you alone in that kind of situation, I knew it would be painful that's why I have no intention to leave you-"

"Sorry…" he cut my uncompleted explanation. " Is not enough. I knew it very well that feeling sorry won't sufficient enough compared to your pain. But please listen to me. Just listen..."

Before I knew it, he was holding me tightly.

"I want to make you happy. I want to make up for everything that I'd done to you. I'm just a monster. Heartless monster!! You can just leave me, I don't deserve you. You are too good for me. You deserve someone better than me. You deserve a genuine gentleman, the one who won't hurt you."

I was startled to feel something wetting my left shoulder. Did he cry just on my shoulder?

I reluctantly let my hand shifted to his back, wanting to hold it the same way as his hand on my back. "Syaoran.."

"You really deserve a better man. I'm no match for you, Sakura. You should leave me you shouldn't be with a jerk like me. I deserve this loneliness."

Then I stopped, not wanting to continue what I've started, not wanting to continue on holding him back even though my hands are already an inch away from his skin.

Stupid Syaoran, can't you see, my big problem is I never have any qualification for a man. I have no idea how to size up on them. I know falling for you is weird after what you did to me. But I'm just a girl, a helpless, clueless girl who forced to fall in love for someone I barely know for even half year.

I know girls are dying to be in Syaoran's arm, to be together with him. But it because they don't know the real Syaoran, and me, on the other hand, knew the bad side of Syaoran right from the beginning and I decided right there to hold on to Syaoran's rude behavior.

It has been less than six month, just six month for him mess up my mind, and now he tell me to leave him, to find another good guy? This is so unfair!

"I hate you."

_It's true, I hate you so much because you're running away._

"Eh?" he let go of the hug and staring at me in disbelieve.

"I really hate you with both my body and heart. I really hate you that I couldn't think of anybody else. I hate you to the point that I'm suffering. I.. hate you, Syaoran.."

"Wh.. Well, I won't push you and tell you to like me, I deserve to be hated, I deserve to be alone. That's why I'm telling you to go far away from me, you can find another gentleman out there."

"And I'll hate you even more if you tell me that you'd leave me after you hurt me. That's pathetic, Syaoran."

"I thought it would be best for you if you just leave me. I'll only hurt you more if I stay near you."

"But you have to take responsibility, Syaoran. You should!"

"What responsibility? I thought you want me to leave and now you are telling me to take responsibility. Really, I don't understand you at all."

"Syaoran, you really don't understand this do you? Well then, try to figure it out."

"Wait, Sakura. I really don't understand this. Sakura!"

I walk faster ahead of him. I really don't understand him at all. Was he out of his mind? Why it was so hard for him to think? Of course I'm mad because of his 'full of himself' attitude. He still full of ego, and that's what makes me mad. He wanted everything to go his way but I've had enough.

After being told about my true feeling then he wanted to run away, saying that he's not good enough for me? I expect him to hang in there, telling me that he'll make it up to me somehow. But he didn't! He told me that sorry isn't enough but he's not willing to make any single effort to make me better. He's just too damn selfish.

I stopped at one point where I could see a very beautiful scenery. I'm wondering myself, what is this place? There's a flower field, full of blooming flower and from here I can see the shadow of huge mountain across the sea, and this cold refreshing breeze, then not to forget the sound if splashing wave.

It's all perfect, I wonder how beautiful it will be if it's morning or noon. It would be fun to have a picnic here.

Imagining myself and my mom like the old time having picnic on her hometown. Just us, the two of us talking about girls stuff, future, and family. Oh, I really missed mom.

Then I fell on my knees, sobbing with tears. I can't take it anymore. Why should I'm having this kind of hardship? I want to be happy, I want to be loved. But no one seems to understand that.

Mom, I tried to love Syaoran and yes I'm already fallen for him. But how? How is it if my effort is not making any sense to him? He's still that cruel, heartless Syaoran. He's still in love with Sierra even if Sierra is now married to someone else.

Why is it so hard to make one man loving you back when your whole heart is already given to him? But the biggest stupid mistake is, why in the world of all things, I have to fall in love to someone who is definitely can't love me back?

I'm the worst.

After countless cry I've been through, I finally decided to go home. From this far distance, I can tell that the biggest and the brightest place in this silent place was only Syaoran's house. Those beautiful lamp are hanging perfectly on the wooden wall, there are some flower inside the pot and neatly placed on every corner of the terrace.

When I get inside, Wei standing quietly with a usual smile on his wrinkled face.

"Welcome back, Sakura-san. Are you ready for dinner?"

Suddenly I feel like full on my stomach, I knew it very well that I'm not in the mood for eating. "Wei, thank you but no. I'm not really in the mood for dinner."

I keep on walking upstairs, want to quickly hug my pillow and sleep.

"But Young Master has already prepared the din-"

"Please, Wei. I'm tired." I said, cutting his uncompleted sentences. I just feel tired and really want to sleep. I'm walking pretty far just now.

"Okay. I understand. Have a good rest, Sakura-san."

I smiled at Wei. I really don't care if maybe he found out that I'm crying or what so ever. I just want to go away from here.

And what make it worst is, I don't even know where the hell he's taking me to. I have no idea what kind of place is this? He didn't tell me the destination place while we're on the flight. I don't think that this place is part of China, after taking that long four hour flight.

Once I'm inside my bedroom, I found a TV Set and turned it on. As I surf through the channel, I was surprised to see the writing on the screen. It's like a kanji.

Curious, I increase the volume and..

Oh my God! The language!

It was Japanese TV channels!!

I keep on checking all the channels, and it's true. I'm in Japan!! Those channels are Japanese National TV Channels and some of them are Hokkaido local TV Channels. Oh, this is such a coincidence! I can just sneak out from here to go home. I can meet my father and brother.

First, I have to confirm that this country is Japan. I'll dial my previous company phone number with no international code.

See?

It's connected!

Oh my God, this place is Japan! Finally, I'm home!

I heard a soft knock the next morning, I actually still want to sleep but the knock making me awake. So I decided to wake up and open the door, and surprised to see Wei standing politely in front of me with a food tray beside him.

"Good morning, Sakura-san. I'm sorry to wake you up. Since Young Master left early this morning, he wanted me to prepare everything for you. I'm so sorry that I told him about you refusing to eat dinner last night, and he got a bit angry and told me to make sure that you eat properly."

"Oh, Wei thanks so much. That's so sweet of you."

"No, Sakura-san. It was actually all Young Master's."

"Eh?"

"The dinner last night was prepared by Young Master himself, but you told me that you weren't in the mood for dinner last night. I told him that you're tired and he said he will eat the dinner himself."

"What? He ate dinner alone?"

"Yes, Sakura-san."

"Oh, God!! I did a horrible thing last night. Oh, no where is Syaoran now?"

"He left, he want you to eat this breakfast. I was ordered to take you to everywhere you want to go."

He let me eat the breakfast and said to enjoy it while he'll be waiting downstairs, and about to left me to eat this magnificent breakfast alone. But I want him to accompany me since I have so many things to ask him.

"Ne, Wei.. Tell me if this place is Hokkaido."

He smiled, "Yes, Sakura-san. This is Hokkaido."

"Oh, why he didn't tell me that we're going to Japan? I thought that he brought me to an unknown place. I wasn't expecting that this place is Japan at all!"

"That was his plan from the beginning. He wanted to surprise you, Sakura-san."

"Why? It's not my birthday or anything."

"Sakura-san, I beg your pardon for being rude. But can I tell you something honest about Young Master Syaoran?"

I nodded while my mouth busily munching the food, "Please go ahead."

"I would like to say thank you for accepting Young Master the way he is. This is the first time I've ever seen Young Master putting so much effort into someone else. Never in his life, not even Miss Sierra."

I shook my head, "No, no need to thank me! I didn't do anything for him."

"No, Sakura-san you've change him. I've no longer seen those heartless face of him anymore, he even insisted when I tried to gave him a hand yesterday. He said he want you to feel better so that's why he thought his little effort to cook the meal for you will make you feel better. Too bad you aren't feeling well last night."

"Wei, I always respect you. The way you see Syaoran is better than his own mother seen him. I'm very grateful that you are always by his side all of this time. I think I should tell you what happened last night and please tell me what should I do."

"Well, if you think so I'll do my best then Sakura-san."

I told Wei the whole story about last night, and about how confused my feeling towards his attitude. Even if I told Wei about all those mean things, I can't help myself from wanting to meet him even more. I started to cry when I told Wei the part when Syaoran shouted at me even though I'm trying to make him and Sierra get together.

He didn't surprised when I tell him about Syaoran violent attitude towards me. He just smiled with his eyes keep closing.

"Thank you so much for trusting me, listening to your story. Sakura-san, I knew it must be hard for you to handle his rude and violent attitude. Young Master, in fact, is a very shy person. I believe he must feel shy when he first saw you. Your beauty and well mannered attitude took his breath away." He added a small chuckle on his last comment. I also laugh a little at what he said.

He already prepared the pancake with strawberry jam on the plate while we're talking, he serves the plate in front of me and allows me to have a try on it while he continue on talking, telling me another opinion about his Young Master.

"He kept his feeling unnoticed to you because he's embarrassed, or maybe afraid of what you think of him. He didn't want you to look down on him, so that's why he took the liberty to make you afraid. I knew him pretty well. It's better for him when people afraid of him rather than looking down on him, he hate it the most.

"I think your presence makes him show the natural side of him. Even how deep his feeling for Miss Sierra, I always thought that she's not the one for him. Young master's love wasn't pure, that's why Miss Sierra left him. I believe the thing that Young Master need is a true love. He wanted to know, how far you're able to handle your feeling.

"I hope you'll be able to remain on his side when he needed you the most. I don't want him to continue on his old life style, always run away when trouble comes. I don't want him to always throw that wild party with naughty girl whenever he's having a hard time. I don't want him to live on this pathetic life forever.

"I knew how's your feeling all this time. I always thought of you like my own daughter. As a father, I would beat up anyone who'd laid a hand on my beautiful daughter until he can't walk anymore. I can't stand to look at my poor daughter, being abused by some stranger. But I knew Young Master very well, he actually a very kind person and because of some other things going on in his life, then he became someone heartless. I really am sorry Sakura-san."

Suddenly Wei made a move. Stand up from where he sit and kneeling down in front of me. He pushed his forehead so it touched the floor. Me, despite of surprise, try to make him stand from kneeling down.

"Wei-san, what are you doing?! Please stand up! I didn't expect you to do this! I didn't, from the beginning, want you to kneel down and begging at me like this. Please stop, please stand up!"

"Please stay by Young Master's side. I beg of you to keep on supporting him, loving him no matter how cruel he is to you. Because I believe you are capable to change him into someone kind."

"Wei, please it's so embarrassing. Just stand up already."

"I insisted, Sakura-san. I want to apologize in his place. Please accept my apology."

I gather all my power to pull him up, I don't want him kneeled down in front of me like that. I feel embarrassed to have him doing things like that. "Wei, come on. Okay, I get it. I'll never leave him no matter what. Now can you please get up already?"

"Are you sure? Please tell me you really mean it?"

"Yes, I'll try."

"Thank you Sakura-san. I really want you to be with him. I hope you can bring him happiness."

"Yeah, but maybe I'll bother you from now on. Because I'll need your advice for handling Syaoran unexpected behavior."

"Oh, I'm looking toward it, Sakura-san."

Later in the afternoon, I've been waiting for Syaoran to come home. Sitting in front of TV with AC turned on.

Wei told me, Syaoran have some appointment to attend today. But it won't take him long, he should be home before noon.

Then I heard the door squeaking open. Finally, Syaoran done with her work. But looking at his expression, he must be so tired and want to go bed at this time. But I don't want to give up just yet, having a picnic outside considered as resting as well.

"Syaoran, welcome home."

He threw himself on the couch and unbuttoning his sleeve, "I'm so tired.." he gave a glance on a basket beside me, "Where have you been?"

"No, um actually err Syaoran, do you want to go out with me? I knew a very cool place, and I was wondering to show you the place. Well, I actually prepared this so we can have a picnic if you want. The place is really nice."

He glanced at his watch, maybe thinking whether to go out with me or spend his time doing his own business. Yeah, he must think that spending his day with me is a waste.

I wave my hand in front of my face, indicate him to just ignore my previous statement. "Ah, anyway it's okay. It's stupid, I know. I'm so stupid, you must be busy. You can just for-"

"I'll go."

"Eh?"

"I'll go with you. Have a picnic together, sounds good."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course, I'm done with my appointment. It's good to have some fresh air outside."

"Well, then can we go now? I've prepared everything. All the food is inside the basket. Since the weather is good now, I don't want to waste it. Come on."

"Wait, maybe I should change into something casual?"

"No. It's okay. You are good on everything you wear, don't worry."

I carried the basket on my right hand while my other hand pulling the door knob. It's all thanks' to Wei I can manage to prepare this sudden picnic menu before Syaoran's home.

"Wei, we're going now. Please take care of the house while we're gone."

While we're walking on the beach, I can see his figure, following behind me. Peeking at his curious face from the corner of my eye, his hand on the pocket, still wearing his messy suit.

"Are you alright? You look unwell; maybe we should go home and let you have a rest."

"No, it's okay. Let's go. I was just a bit tired. I thought I could just go here to have a holiday. But I don't know that mother already planned me to run a board meeting today in Hokkaido Branch."

"That must be tough for you today. But anyway, you did a good job today and I thought I could bring you to a good place as a reward. I knew it's not a grand place like what you usually went, but for me it's marvelous and I want you to enjoy it as well."

As we now walking side by side, unbeknown to us, our steps were now much slower than before. "I hope you won't be disappointed; after all I want to make up for last night. I left you alone on the beach and I didn't eat your hand made dinner. It was terrible, I'm so sorry."

He chuckled, "Sorry?"

I stare at him, and automatically stop walking.

"You've said too much sorry. As for tomorrow, it should be me who said sorry to you. Now I realized, what you mean at the party was right. Sierra was also right. I didn't understand you at all, I didn't deserve you at all, but I don't want you to leave me. I don't know if its love, I still can't figure out whether I like you or not. But your presence is all I need.

"You know, I still have to learn, I didn't want to rush everything. But knowing how pushy mother towards our wedding, I feel like everything will be alright if my partner is you. I know it's weird, but I'll learn to treasure you from now on."

I laughed hard looking at his serious face, "You don't have to if you won't. Remember? Yesterday you told me to leave you."

"That one, I was stupid. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I'm just afraid that I'll just keep on hurting you whenever you near me. But the truth is, I want you here by my side, whatever the status is. You can refer it as a friend, as a girlfriend, as a companion, whatever. I don't' care."

"Silly, you know, your face is red."

There was a long pause before I decide to give a glance at him and see his tired look on his face.

"Haaaaaah~ what a day, I get the chance to see an embarrassed face of the almighty Syaoran Li."

"Come on, Sakura. I'm being serious here."

"Why so serious? I want to have some fun together with you. Let's go."

"Whoa!! This is cool!! How did you find it?"

"Last night, I don't know. When I left you, I just keep on running to nowhere then suddenly my feet brought me here. So I might as well enjoy this place. I'm glad I brought you here today."

"Why? Shouldn't it be me who is glad? You show me this cool place? Oh, it's like heaven!!"

"Because this way I can see you smiling like never before. Not the evil smirk one, which you often show me every time I met you."

"You got me there, Sakura." He sat on one empty space of grass. "No one in this world, not even my family knowing what happiness is for me. But you, doing this simple thing make me dying of happiness. Thank you, Sakura."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it. But I'm not doing it for free okay? I want something in return. A request."

"Request? As long as it won't bring my company to bankruptcy, then I'll listen."

"Oh boy, it WON'T!!" we laughed hard together. "The thing is, I want us to start over everything. I want to have a good memory of you. I want to get rid of my uneasiness when I'm around you. Is that okay with you?"

"That's a good idea. I'll try."

I reached out my hand in front of him, waiting for him to shake it but instead, he gave me a questionable look on his face.

"Starting from here, since we don't know each other so we have to introduce our self right?"

He finally held my hand and shook it gently. I can hear he mumbled quietly, "What a weird thing to start over."

I chuckled, "My name is Sakura Kinomoto. You are?"

His face was a bit red, "Um.. Syaoran Li." He answered shortly.

I can't hold my laugh when I see his embarrassed face. "Well then Syaoran Li, nice to meet you. Let's be friend!"

He took a bite of my handmade onigiri, "Okay, nice to meet you Sakura-san. I hope we can get along well."

He tried to say every nice thing to me like compliment my cook, how smart of me to take this place as a picnic field. I feel great that he's happy enjoying everything I've prepared for him. He finished all the food, even the pickles.

Now Syaoran is laying down across to me. Well maybe he tired himself out today that he's fallen asleep. I found his restless face is now a bit at ease. This spot is the best to get relax. Sleeping under a big tree within the flower field, moreover the sound of seashore and the refreshing breeze. Oh, what a peace.

"Don't you want to go home?"

Syaoran's voice interrupted me from daydreaming. I look at him, still laying down with his eyes closed, and his arm folded on his forehead.

"Home? What do you mean home?"

"You must already know this place is part of Japan, your country. Don't you want to visit them?"

"Oh, yeah. I thought you won't allow me."

He changed his position. Now he's facing me with his hand supporting his head. "Look, when I asked you to go anywhere, the only place in my head is Japan. It's your country. This is where your family live. I brought you here with intention you'll meet them and have a good time with them so you won't look down like last time."

"Are you sure I can visit my family?"

"Of course you can. You have the rights. To have a great time with your family as long as you like."

"Oh my God, thank you, Syaoran!! You're the best!!"

"On one condition..." Now he sit up - cross-legged – and giving me a serious look. "Let me go with you. We're going to visit your family, you and I."

"I thought you are busy with your work? Don't you think mother will allow you to leave Hong Kong this long?"

"It doesn't matter. I just… well, I don't want anything to happen to you while I'm not there."

I giggled, "So, you are worried about me?"

There he is. He tried to hide his blushing face but failed. I can see clearly he's embarrassed to death. His face is now red as tomato, not to forget, his ears as well. "It's not that. I just don't want mother yell at me when anything happen to you."

"Really? Thank you, Syaoran. You are getting better on being gentleman. Ne, I should introduce you to my family. Hmm, how should I address you? It would be weird if I said you are my boss and we are having trip together just the two of us."

"I'm not that good with family introduction. Last thing I knew about introducing myself to Sierra's family was a big mistake. I wish I didn't meet them back then. Because the minute they know who I am, then they threw me away. They didn't want me. They saw me as a foe."

"But my father is different. He's just a university teacher. He never ever judge people from where they're come from. He's a good man. You told me that you knew him last time. Remember? You've been gathering data about my family?"

"Yeah, I knew your father, I even saw his picture. Your brother.." he lowered his head, and said in a sorrow, " and your deceased mother."

"Don't be like that Syaoran. I'm over it; I'm no longer seeing my mom's death as a sad thing. Death is not the end of someone life. My father once told me that my mom is still alive, exist, but now she's just living in a different world from us. My mom is there watching me from heaven, and will always protect me."

"That's good to hear, how positive you are."

"Yeah we all should think positive towards this life. You should be grateful, knowing that your mother is alive, knowing your sisters are always watching over you."

"You are very kind, Sakura."

"Thank you. But you should meet my father and you can see how positive he is towards life."

"Well, let's go home for now. It's getting dark here." He stood up and sweep off his pants from dust and offering his hand to me.

I was surprised, and confused whether to reach his hand or not.

"Come on, I'm not going to eat you up. Just trying to be a gentleman." When he heard me laughing, he smiled widely and pull me so I can stand from where I sit.

"But just don't try too hard, Syaoran."

"This is my house."

"Wow, it's pretty small." He ignorantly checked the mail box. "But nice!"

"Thank you. Usually at this time my father was still lecturing at the university, but I knew very well where he hid the key." I flip the rug in front of the door and saw a silver key laying there.

"Is that how you keep the key?"

"Yep, this way we can come home every time without disturbing the others."

"Your family sure is putting more danger into their life. Why don't use electronic key?"

"We don't need that, Syaoran. It's not that we're living in a castle or white house."

"Well, you have the point. So, we can just come inside?"

"Yeah, he'll be here in about an hour. I'll prepare the dinner. If you want to rest, you can use my room upstairs."

"No, I want to help."

"Oh you are more than welcome to help. But listen, I told you not to try too hard for it."

"No, really, I want to help you. I want to learn more how to cook. Okay?"

"Okay. Let's go. I'll show you the kitchen."

After a while, we finally set our feet on the kitchen. I help Syaoran put an apron on him after I'm done with mine. I've prepared the ingredient on the table so we can start on making some food.

"I definitely won't fry or boil. I'm not good with stove, okay?"

"It's okay. You can chop the celery and onion."

"Celery? Onion? What kind of food made from these?"

"Spaghetti."

"Are you sure? I didn't find anything like celery when I eat spaghetti."

"We chop it finely so people won't feel the shape, but the taste."

"So I need to cut this in a very small size?"

"Yeah, the smaller the better, but are you sure you can do it?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll try my best."

"Okay, just take it slow."

I heard the sound of chopping while I'm cooking the spaghetti in the boiled water. It didn't take long for the spaghetti to get cooked. It's now all ready to be drained.

I look at Syaoran's work. He did it quite fine. The shape is not that good, but it's still small in size. He cut it slowly, one by one, just like a little kid clumsily helping their mom chopping the vegetable.

"I'm done with this! So what else? I see carrot over here."

"Yep, you need to chop it as well. Since I'm done with my own stuff, I'll help you."

He smiled, "Thanks' I really am enjoying this. This is fun!"

"Carrot is not a soft thing. You need to put more effort on this. Let's try."

"Okay."

He's trying so hard not to cut his own finger. He push the knife slowly but sure so it won't touch his finger instead. His serious face makes me laugh, which I don't. I just don't want to be rude to laugh on his seriousness.

"Ack!!" he stopped and holding his hand.

"What's wrong?"

"Shit, I cut my finger."

"Oh no, God, oh no, your cut is wide. Hold on, I'll get the first aid box."

Not long after I grab the aid box, I found him lying on the couch. His hand hanging beside the couch, he took off his shirt so he can use it to temporarily stop the cut with the cloth material.

"I'm sorry it took me so long. Oh thank goodness you already stop the blood. I don't know how to tell my father if he found blood stain everywhere in the house."

"It's okay. It's weird, I know very well how to handle sword, but I don't know how to hold knife. It's pathetic."

"No it's not. Knifes and swords are two different thing. The handling is different as well. Hey, tell me if it's hurt. You see, the cut is pretty wide."

I used some wet cotton to clean his finger. I have to make sure he's okay with alcohol; I'll use it to clean the cut and put iodine on the cut so it'll dry soon.

"It didn't hurt. I didn't feel anything at all."

I knew he's trying to set me relaxed. He tried to be funny and make me at ease. Let's see if he can take my humor. "How if I push it like this?"

"Nope, it's not hurt.. err.. at all."

I giggled, "Are you kidding me, Syaoran? I'm going to pour the alcohol, okay?!"

I heard he make a grimace when the alcohol first touch his cut. I just sneered at him. So, superman has his own weakness.

"You know, I found it weird every time you call my name." I wasn't aware that he's actually talking to me, I'm concentrating on his wound after all.

"What? Why is that so?"

"I don't know, but I feel like I want to hear you calling out my name every second."

"That's weird. What? Like, _Syaoran_?" I tried to make it sound weird. I don't understand why in the world he want me to say his name.

"Call me again?"

"Syaoran?"

"Again?"

"Syaoran, Syaoran, Syaoran?"

"I can't get enough of you calling out my name. It's so weird, here." He pulled my hand and placed it on his chest where his heart laid.

I can feel the heat of his body when my skin touched his. My fingers trembled, and I feel embarrassed to touch his bare skin. But when I push my hand a little bit on his heart, I feel soft thing moving so fast. Amazing, it's beating in a rapid movement. What it is? My heart is starting to beat fast as well. He's making me so nervous.

I gulped and take my hand away from him but he pulled it again and tangled it with his. I tried to keep my cool and commenting on his rapidly healthy heart movement, "Wow, your heart. It's beating so fast."

He moved closer to me. It's so weird when I found his breath tickling my cheeks. Why he's so close to me?

I heard his growl down from his throat. "It's your fault, Sakura."

I gulped, "How is that so? I'm just calling out your name, Syaoran." I intentionally emphasize his name.

With his other hand, he tucked my hair behind my ear while whispering in a very soft voice, "Don't stop."

Suddenly I feel hot. This room became quiet all of sudden. And the air was heavy and it makes me hard to breath.

For a thousand times, again, I gulped, "Well, okay. Syaoran…"

His lips is an inch away from mine, I don't know how to react in this kind of situation. It's so weird, I feel hot. If you want to kiss me then kiss me already!

DROP

I heard something hard dropping on the floor.

"Sakura, what are you doing?"

I jumped and push Syaoran away when I heard Touya's voice on my ear. He's standing behind the sofa with both of his hand on his hip.

"Ni.. Onii-san?"

Touya quickly jump on the sofa and push Syaoran on the wall. His hand choke Syaoran's neck and his other hand ready to knock Syaoran's face off.

"Who the fuck are you and what are you doing half naked with _my_ sister in _my_ house?"

"Nii-san, wait! It's not like what you think. He's, he's my boss from where I work, and we're on business trip together so we decide to drop by here."

"So you went far away to Hong Kong to sell your body to your boss? Don't mess with me, Sakura! You can't go there anymore. You are grounded!"

"Oh yeah? You ain't my father, you don't have the right to tell me what to do. Yes you can order your pretty and docile wife to follow your order. But I ain't your wife. I'm your sister, and I'm not going to say yes to everything you want me to do, okay? Now let. Him. Go."

"Can't you see what he's up to?"

"Yeah, I can see it clearly. I'm treating his wound, okay? We didn't do anything. And I didn't see that he's up to something. Now let your hand go away from him!"

"How can I let him go? This brat here is.. I can see clearly he's trying to. to… aaaarghhhhhhh he's up to hurting you, god damnit!"

"If you don't let him go." I glanced around the living room to find something dangerous, and thank goodness I found it quick, the insecticide. "..I'll drink this insecticide."

"Don't play around with that toxic, Sakura."

"Let him go, or I'll drink this."

"Oh, shit! Sakura don't be reckless, okay put your hand down and I'll let him free." I put the insecticide on the desk when I'm sure his hand away from Syaoran's neck. "Don't think this is over between us, brat. I'll beat you up once my sister is not around."

"Cough, cough. Shit, my throat hurts! Is that your brother?"

"I'm so sorry. He always over protective to me, he'll be good once you become friend with him. Come on, I haven't finish with your wound."

He just nodded and growling in pain. I knew how shocked Syaoran was. My brother just attacked him without any notice.

"Sakura, once you are done doing your stuff, you should continue cooking. Dad will come in a few minutes." Touya shouted at me from the his room, too loud.

"Okay." I reply him with the same loud.

Back to treating Syaoran's wound, now I can't look at his face anymore. I don't know how to talk to him either. It's just silent between us.

"Listen, I'm sorry for what just happened. I didn't mean to-"

"Shhh, my brother is keeping an eye on us now. So you better keep your cool. Just wait here. I'll bring you my father's shirt for you to wear. Yep, it's done." I tighten the bandage knot and make sure it won't loosen up. "Don't talk to my brother if he asked you anything. I'll be in the kitchen."

He sneered, "I'll behave."

"Thank you."

Meanwhile, when I'm serving the food I heard a slow step coming from behind the kitchen. It's Touya's room. I bet he want to continue bugging me with 'who is that brat' talk.

"Kaijyuu, we have to talk."

"First, my name is not kaijyuu. And second, no we don't have to talk."

"Yeah, I mean _I_ have to talk and you owe me an explanation on.. that brat."

"He is my friend, my boss, and he ain't a brat. Now I really don't want to talk about this."

"But he is a completely stranger and now is sitting inside my god damn house!"

"Not your house, it's Kinomotos."

"Well, okay. Thank you for correcting me all the times sounds like I'm so stupid."

"Touya-san, are you home?"

Suddenly Touya make a wide grin on his face. "Otou-san, I'm in the kitchen!"

"Oh, God! Sakura, sweetie!! Why are you here?" he dropped his briefcase on the floor and run to hug me tightly.

"Otou-san, I missed you! Oh, I really missed you."

"Sakura, there is a man sitting in the living room. Is he our guest?"

"Yeah, he's my boss in my office in Hong Kong. Actually we went to Hokkaido to do some business trip but since we have several days off, I asked him to accompany me and pay a visit here."

"Why you leave him there alone? Sweetie, that's rude."

Touya begin to scowl, "Dad, he ain't a friend of Sakura. That nasty brat have to go far away from her, now!"

Otousan started to look confuse, "Touya, I don't understand. What are you talking about?"

"Otou-san, don't listen to him. That guy is my guest, he's my friend!"

"No, he isn't. I saw him half naked, and his face was an inch away from Sakura. Believe me, he's a pervert." Touya pointed out his finger on me.

"Sakura-san, is that true?"

I sighed, "Onii-san was right. But isn't it a normal thing to do between a couple?"

Onii-chan eyes like about to come out from it place, "What? You are a couple?"

"Yeah, I forgot to mention that he is my boyfriend!"

"You're what?" I successfully make my overprotective brother annoyed finally.

"Boy… friend."

"Sakura, don't kidding me here. He ain't your boyfriend, and he ain't stayin' here."

"Oh great! Then I'll just look for a hotel for us to stay!"

Otou-san quickly grabbed my shoulder. "Sakura, honey, calm down. Okay?"

"No, Otou-san. I've had enough of onii-san telling me what to do. Since my boyfriend is not welcomed here, then I may as well go with him."

Otou-san made a good decision. He glared at Onii-san, and made him click his tongue.

"Wait! Maybe, we can err... at least let him eat dinner with us here. But just don't get too close to him! You got it?"

"No need to tell me." I said in a cold tone as I threw him a dead glare and stomp away to the living room. "Onii-san baka!"

"Syaoran, come on. Let's eat together."

He just nodded and walk behind me, "Together? You mean with your father and brother? Me?"

"Yep, they want to know more about you."

"Well, I'm not sure if your brother wants to get to know about me."

"What?" Touya sneered at Syaoran, showing that he's been listening to our conversation. "You don't want me to know more about you?"

"Touya-san, don't start with the fight! What is your name, son?"

"I'm sorry I didn't introduce my name earlier. My name is Li Syaoran, nice to meet you, Kinomoto-san."

"Nice to meet you too, Li-san. I want to personally thank you for taking a very good care of my daughter while she's away from her family. I hope it didn't bother you."

"No, not at all Sakura - I mean Ms. Kinomoto is a very wonderful person. She always finishes her job earlier before the deadline. She's one of our best female workers at the company."

"Well I'm glad that she's behaving nicely around the company. So, how far did you two go?"

"Eh? Pardon me?"

"O.. Otou-san, let's eat the food now before it's getting cold! Okay?"

"Oh, I almost forget. You are right, Sakura! Let's enjoy the meal! Li-san please eat a lot!"

He took a bit of it and chewed it slowly. Slowly much because my stupid keep on looking at him like Syaoran is some kind of a new species.

Soon after we'd done with dinner, Touya went to the bathroom to take a bath, and Syaoran went out to the backyard and checking on his laptop. Father approached me on the kitchen sink where I'm washing dishes.

"Sakura, what are you going to do with your boy friend?"

"Otou-san, don't address him that way. I don't think he'll like it."

"Okay, I'm sorry. But I'm so happy to finally have you get a boy friend. It's a result of being open towards the others. You've changed."

"No, I'm not. I'm still the same."

"So, how far your relationship went with him? I hope it's the healthy one."

I turned the sink off and dry my hand with a towel. I knew, father can see right through my heart, he knew I hid something from him. He just didn't want to offend me and that's why he asked me carefully. He wanted me to be honest to him.

"Otou-san, I... need to talk to you. I have so many things to tell you."

"What is it, Sakura-san?"

"Um, actually, there was something happening in Hong Kong. I don't know why I didn't tell you that time, but I really thought that this kind of topic should be delivered to you directly."

"Okay, what is it?"

"There was an accident between Syaoran and I."

"An accident, you mean like traffic accident?"

"No, Otou-san. He..." I gulped. I can't continue this. It's hard to tell father, my own father, about what is actually going on in my life when I'm around Syaoran. But I need to tell him, he is my father.

"He? You mean Syaoran?"

"Yeah, Syaoran, he… he is a very nice person. And I'm glad he was there whenever I needed his help."

"But you said there was an accident."

"No, never, it was just… a slip of my tongue. Yeah, you know me and my clumsiness."

"Well, I don't think you just slipped your tongue when you tell me the 'accident' word. I'll wait until you are ready to tell me."

"Thank you. I'll tell you when I'm ready. I promise."

* * *

**_To be continued…

* * *

_**

I know this is quite long for one chapter, but I hope you like it like I do.

I hope this won't disappoint you all.

Thank you :)


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